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Microsoft Patents 'Phone-Home' Failure Reporting
theodp writes "On Tuesday, the USPTO awarded a patent to Microsoft for its Method and system for reporting a program failure, although a much more sophisticated version of this technology has been standard on IBM mainframes for years. Maybe prior art searches will improve once the USPTO moves into the new two million square foot USPTO campus, which includes five interconnected buildings, a twelve-story atrium, a landscaped two-acre park, and a museum."
When life gives you lemons...
I'm sorry, ET; I'm afraid we can't allow you to send that signal... Microsoft, you know...
By awarding obvious and unoriginal patents, the USPTO's plan was to amass a ton of money so they can have wasteful, luxurious campuses...
Next we'll be reading about how each patent clerk gets his own stripper and lapdances are mandatory every hour on the hour.
Method and system for reporting a program failure
They patented the BSOD?
My guess is the museum will hold long gone stuff like "search for previous art".
Black holes are where God divided by zero
It's called the Big Blue Screen of Death, right?
It's Christmas everyday with BitTorrent.
However, we all know that Microsoft has no need for error reporting software.
- 13. The method of claim 12, wherein the new entry comprises the location of the location of the failure.
errmmmm/ damn. I think MS is trying a buffer overflow on my brain
yes, we have no bananas
The patents are making no sense at all lately. It seems they want to patent everything under the sun. Maybe they will patent the patent system of awarding nonsensical patents!!
TechSutra
I think I'll patent "A method for discovering prior art in patent cases". It doesn't look like the USPTO have one...
Microsoft also will so patent the ability to turn error reporting off.
Thus, you'll have to pay to use it... or pay to not.
The good news is that slashdot will soon we patenting the right to slam microsoft. Due to the grant demand... slashdot will be rich beyond its wildest dreams and give free subscriptions to us all.
Davak
When will you learn? Microsoft invented the computer and the web browser; Al Gore invented the internet; SCO invented Unix; and AOL revolutionized the information age. I hope this clears up any confusion you may have experienced.
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This isn't the sig you're looking for. Move along.
Despite the best efforts of software developers, software programs inevitably fail at one time or another. One type of failure is a crash. A crash occurs while a program module is running and results in the suspension of operation of the program module. Crashes are frustrating to users and, in some cases, may cause the user to lose work.
oh my god!
isn't it supposed to be a feature??
On Tuesday, the USPTO awarded a patent to Microsoft for its Method and system for reporting a program failure,
...
Yeah, so it's justified. I mean, other OSes display cryptic error messages, "guru meditation" errors (amiga), oopses, kernel panics or bombs with all kinds of unintelligible information only hackers can use.
Microsoft, on the other hand, introduced the large blue screen-wide postage stamp, so you *know* immediately it's time to hit that button next to the floppy drive, without having to read idiotic messages. How that for user-friendliness, hmm? uh?
Stop the Microsoft bashing. These guys really do innovate, whether you like it or not. Even Linux doesn't have that user-friendly reboot signal. It's such a sadly made OS it doesn't even crash in fact, that's how boring it is
"A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of" - Ogden Nash
*cough*netscape feedback agent*cough*
That place is about a stone's throw from my home. I wonder if they're hiring...
I wonder if you've got enough stones.
No, that they copyrighted.
Therefore, according to the DMCA, you should either sit there and wait for the Ashcroft SS to burst through your door, or cut a deal with the BSA in which you agree to pay $50 for every page on which you've ever read those words.
Damn, I quoted you. Forgive me, Ashcroft, for I have sinned ... it has been $150 since my last copyright violation ...
John
The good news is that slashdot will soon we patenting the right to slam microsoft.
Won't happen, too much prior art....
Tequila: It's not just for breakfast anymore!
What is it with this sillyness? Is the USPTO just waving requests through?
Random guy 1: Uh, I'd like the patent on what I call "vehicle wheel". It's round and has spokes.
USPTO: Approved. NEXT!
Random guy 2: We have integrated an automatic error reporting into our software. If it breaks, it calls and tells us what happened. Patent please?
USPTO: Approved. NEXT!
Random guy 3: Hey, I have come up with a method to enrich blood cells with oxygen using organic material which I would like a patent on.
USPTO: Approved. NEXT!
...
(#3 turns around and is revealed to be Dr. Evil - he snickers manically having just patented breathing)
This is Slashdot. Since when do people read articles and let facts stand in the way of good ole' Microsoft bashing?
Anyway, I didn't read the patent yet, but does it have something to do with reducing the annoyance of phoning home everytime one of their shit products fails?
Now that would be spectacular, and something worth patenting.
We don't use windows on servers anymore...
Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken - Tyler Durden
It would have been, but somebody owns the patent on a "method for automatically adding withdrawn patents to a list".
"I'm not impatient. I just hate waiting." - My Dad
This patent only covers a system where the client reports failures, checks to see if the failure is a duplicate, then follows server-based instructions to see if someone at Microsoft want's the user's bank account information before sending it.
In other news, after the release of Windows XP service pack 947, Microsoft has suffered a complete DDOS attack as every Windows XP based computer in the world tried submitting a bug report at the same time.
This is not the sig line you are looking for... -- Old Jedi Sig Line Trick