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Ig Nobel Awards 2003

prostoalex writes "The Ig Nobel awards for 2003 were presented at Harvard University. Hold your breath for the winners of this year's awards from Annals of Improbable Research. Engineering: the inventors of the Murphy's law. Physics: authors of 'An Analysis of the Forces Required to Drag Sheep over Various Surfaces' report. Medicine: the scientists, who discovered that London taxi drivers are smarter than average London residents. Psychology: authors of the 'Politicians' Uniquely Simple Personalities' report. Chemistry: a Japanese scientist who studied a bronze statue strangely ignored by pigeon population. Literature: the author of more than 80 scientific reports on amusing statistical information. Economics: the man, who viewed the entire country of Liechtenstein as a large convention center. Interdisciplinary: authors of 'Chickens Prefer Beautiful Humans' study. Biology: first documented case of homosexual necrophilia in the mallard duck species. Links and pictures are available from the official Web site, linked above."

29 of 184 comments (clear)

  1. I knew it. by grub · · Score: 4, Funny


    Biology: first documented case of homosexual necrophilia in the mallard duck species

    I always was suspicious of those damn mallards.. Their "Oh, I'm just an innocent duck" quacks and what not..

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    1. Re:I knew it. by jdehnert · · Score: 5, Funny

      Biology: first documented case of homosexual necrophilia in the mallard duck species. Links and pictures are available from the official Web site, linked above."

      Oh goody! Pictures too!

      Just try and imagine the conversation that took place when this reasearch was submitted.

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    2. Re:I knew it. by nullard · · Score: 3, Informative

      That's not an implication, it's in the report. They actually say that the ducks will copulate with a dead mate. They've also identified a small percentage of gay mallards. This is just the first time that the two populations have intersected in front of a scientist that was willing to write a paper about it.

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  2. I buy it. by CGP314 · · Score: 4, Funny

    the scientists, who discovered that London taxi drivers are smarter than average London residents

    Makes sense to me. They charge a small fortune to go a small distance, and we still pay it. : )

    1. Re:I buy it. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

      Then they tell ya about their 20 years service in the SAS and how they think they should have jumped on Yemen back in 1976 but at the last moment they got called back by MI6 with whom the cabby himself has "very good standing".

      One stopped his cab in from of my house and talked to me about his revision of JFK and what he thinks were the reasons behind his assassination.

      Lemme tell you this, London cabbies are too smart for their own good. They know more about secret operations, international deals and about subterranean civilisations controlling us thru psychic waves than the entire MOD does.

      And whatever they say... don't reply back.

  3. Chickens Prefer Beautiful Humans by CGP314 · · Score: 3, Funny

    That's so unfair. Beautiful people have an advantage in everything.

    1. Re:Chickens Prefer Beautiful Humans by 35ft_twinkie · · Score: 4, Funny

      Not quite. Ugly people have a much better chance of being passed over as the choice to be a giant slug crime lord's next love-slave-who-has-to-wear-a-bronze-bikini.

      Mercifully, the will just be killed.

    2. Re:Chickens Prefer Beautiful Humans by blamanj · · Score: 3, Funny

      Note that in the article, they compared the responses of the chickens to male college students and found a corelation...Seems like there's lots of room for further study there.

    3. Re:Chickens Prefer Beautiful Humans by big_O_of_n! · · Score: 4, Funny

      Of course, corpulent humans prefer fried chickens, so it all evens out.

      --
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    4. Re:Chickens Prefer Beautiful Humans by blancolioni · · Score: 4, Funny

      Beautiful people have an advantage in everything.

      Yes, we do.

      And I'd appreciate it if you'd wear your paper bag next time you post something. Thanks.

  4. best one by ih8apple · · Score: 4, Interesting

    PEACE
    Lal Bihari, of Uttar Pradesh, India, for a triple accomplishment: First, for leading an active life even though he has been declared legally dead; Second, for waging a lively posthumous campaign against bureaucratic inertia and greedy relatives; and Third, for creating the Association of Dead People.

  5. Slashdot-proof copy of article by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Informative

    The 2003 Ig Nobel Prize Winners
    The 2003 Ig Nobel Prize winners were announced on Thursday evening, October 2, at the 13th First Annual Ig Nobel Prize Ceremony, at Harvard's Sanders Theatre. The ceremony was telecast live on the Internet. (The winners will give free public talks on Saturday, October 4, at the Ig Informal Lectures, at MIT room 54-100.)
    Click here for details.

    ENGINEERING
    The late John Paul Stapp, the late Edward A. Murphy, Jr., and George Nichols, for jointly giving birth in 1949 to Murphy's Law, the basic engineering principle that "If there are two or more ways to do something, and one of those ways can result in a catastrophe, someone will do it" (or, in other words: "If anything can go wrong, it will").
    REFERENCE: "The Fastest Man on Earth," Nick T. Spark, Annals of Improbable Research, vol. 9, no. 5, Sept/Oct 2003.]
    WHO ATTENDED THE IG NOBEL CEREMONY: (1) Author Nick T. Spark , on behalf of John Paul Stapp's widow, Lilly. (2) Edward Murphy's Edward A. Murphy III, on behalf of his late father. (3) George Nichols, via audio tape.

    PHYSICS
    Jack Harvey, John Culvenor, Warren Payne, Steve Cowley, Michael Lawrance, David Stuart, and Robyn Williams of Australia, for their irresistible report "An Analysis of the Forces Required to Drag Sheep over Various Surfaces."
    [PUBLISHED IN: Applied Ergonomics, vol. 33, no. 6, November 2002, pp. 523-31. A copy is available at http://www.culvenor.com/]
    WHO ATTENDED THE IG NOBEL CEREMONY: John Culvenor.

    MEDICINE
    Eleanor Maguire, David Gadian, Ingrid Johnsrude, Catriona Good, John Ashburner, Richard Frackowiak, and Christopher Frith of University College London, for presenting evidence that the brains of London taxi drivers are more highly developed than those of their fellow citizens.
    [PUBLISHED IN: "Navigation-Related Structural Change In the Hippocampi of Taxi Drivers," Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, vol. 97, no. 8, April 11, 2000, pp. 4398-403. Also see their subsequent publications.]
    WHO ATTENDED THE IG NOBEL CEREMONY: Eleanor Maguire.

    PSYCHOLOGY
    Gian Vittorio Caprara and Claudio Barbaranelli of the University of Rome, and Philip Zimbardo of Stanford University, for their discerning report "Politicians' Uniquely Simple Personalities."
    [PUBLISHED IN: Nature, vol. 385, February 1997, p. 493.]
    WHO ATTENDED THE IG NOBEL CEREMONY: Philip Zimbardo.

    CHEMISTRY
    Yukio Hirose of Kanazawa University, for his chemical investigation of a bronze statue, in the city of Kanazawa, that fails to attract pigeons.
    WHO ATTENDED THE IG NOBEL CEREMONY: Yukio Hirose.

    LITERATURE
    John Trinkaus, of the Zicklin School of Business, New York City, for meticulously collecting data and publishing more than 80 detailed academic reports about specific annoyances and anomalies of daily life, such as: What percentage of young people wear baseball caps with the peak facing to the rear rather than to the front; What percentage of pedestrians wear sport shoes that are white rather than some other color; What percentage of swimmers swim laps in the shallow end of a pool rather than the deep end; What percentage of automobile drivers almost, but not completely, come to a stop at one particular stop-sign; What percentage of commuters carry attache cases; What percentage of shoppers exceed the number of items permitted in a supermarket's express checkout lane; and What percentage of students dislike the taste of Brussels sprouts.
    REFERENCE: 86 of Professor Trinkaus's publications are listed in "Trinkaus -- An Informal Look," Annals of Improbable Research, vol. 9, no. 3, May/Jun 2003.
    WHO ATTENDED THE IG NOBEL CEREMONY: John Trinkaus.

    ECONOMICS
    Karl Schwarzler and the nation of Liechtenstein, for making it possible to rent the entire country for corporate conventions, weddings, bar mitzvahs, and other gatherings.
    REFERENCE: and
    WHO ATTENDED THE IG NOBEL CEREMONY: Karl Schwarzler.

    INTERDISCIPLINARY RESEARCH
    Stefano Ghirlanda, Liselotte Jansson, and Magnus Enquist

  6. That's the Internet for you by wirde · · Score: 5, Funny
    Biology: first documented case of homosexual necrophilia in the mallard duck species.

    Believe it or not, they actually have pictures of the act as well. That's the Internet for you, nothing but pr0n.

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  7. The Knowledge by tinrobot · · Score: 4, Interesting

    ...the scientists, who discovered that London taxi drivers are smarter than average London residents

    I think memorizing every single street in the city of London does make you pretty darn smart.

    Though, London cabbies are certainly not short on opinions. Maybe memorizing every street also makes one think they know everything about anything.

    1. Re:The Knowledge by tiled_rainbows · · Score: 4, Funny

      The scary thing about this that most london cabbies seem to be bigoted, racist, sexist, quasi-fascist, foaming-at-the-mouth right-wingers.

      I always thought it was just due to the buildup of misanthropic rage from the job they do, but this research raises the disturbing possibility is that maybe their opinions only seem offensive to me because I'm not smart enough to understand them, and that they're actually right.

      Genuine quote from when I took a cab last winter:

      Me: Cold out tonight, eh?

      Cabbie: Yeah. Still, if it kills off a few of these homeless people it's not a bad thing, eh?

  8. Dead man walking by Brahmastra · · Score: 5, Funny
    Lal Bihari, of Uttar Pradesh, India, for a triple accomplishment: First, for leading an active life even though he has been declared legally dead; Second, for waging a lively posthumous campaign against bureaucratic inertia and greedy relatives; and Third, for creating the Association of Dead People.

    Wonder if he can refuse to pay bills, citing death as the reason.
    1. Re:Dead man walking by enjo13 · · Score: 4, Informative

      He actually tried that and more:)

      In an effort to prove that he was alive (it took something like 15 years) he did all sorts of funny things, like demanding a widow pension for his wife, invading government gatherings (to get arrested), racking up an insane number of contempt of court charges, etc...

      All under that same principle.. he wanted to force the government to recognize his existence by forcing them to do things that you can only do to a live person.

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  9. Sheep? by PsychoKiller · · Score: 5, Funny

    'An Analysis of the Forces Required to Drag Sheep over Various Surfaces'

    Let me guess, these were Scottish researchers, right?

  10. Well... by CGP314 · · Score: 3, Interesting

    We trained chickens to react to an average human female face but not to an average male face (or vice versa). In a subsequent test, the animals showed preferences for faces consistent with human sexual preferences (obtained from university students). This suggests that human preferences arise from general properties of nervous systems, rather than from face-specific adaptations.

    I think you need to see if people prefer beautiful chickens before you can jump to that conclusion.

  11. Minivan driving soccer moms... by MadAnthony02 · · Score: 3, Funny

    Hey, I consider it useful that Trinkaus discovered that woman in vans don't stop for stopsigns. I've never liked those minivan driving soccer moms.

    Observations were made at the same 4 T-junction intersections in a residential community in the suburbs of a large northeastern city. Two characteristics were selected for viewing: type of vehicle and sex of driver. Data for 8 90-min observations suggest an overall compliance rate of about 6% with stop signs in a residential community. Women driving vans were the least compliant--approximately 1%.

    Link

  12. SCO missing? by mao+che+minh · · Score: 4, Funny

    I'm suprised that SCO's McBride isn't on this list somewhere, for his spectacular achievement in Chemistry: Turning bullshit into gold.

  13. Homosexual necrophilia in mallard ducks by metamatic · · Score: 4, Funny

    There was also a study of sado-masochistic bestial necrophilia by jockeys, but it turned out the researcher was just flogging a dead horse.

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  14. Let me be the first to say... by teamhasnoi · · Score: 3, Funny
    The first case of homosexual necrophilia in the mallard Anas platyrhynchos (Aves: Anatidae) (page 243-247)

    On 5 June 1995 an adult male mallard (Anas platyrhynchos) collided with the glass facade of the Natuurmuseum Rotterdam and died. An other drake mallard raped the corpse almost continuously for 75 minutes. Then the author disturbed the scene and secured the dead duck. Dissection showed that the rape-victim indeed was of the male sex. It is concluded that the mallards were engaged in an 'Attempted Rape Flight' that resulted in the first described case of homosexual necrophilia in the mallard.

    75 MINUTES! Talk about not knowing when to quit! Not even a, "Honey, are you awake?"... sheeesh.

    BTW, the pictures of the ducks are quite tasteful, while the beautiful chicken photos border on hard-core pornography.

  15. more Nobel than Ig by barakn · · Score: 5, Informative
    I'm not certain why the London Taxi Driver study received an Ig Nobel. It was a beautifully done study. For those who don't know, people who want to be black cab taxi drivers in London take a 3 year course (3/4 drop out) to pass an exam. They have to memorize essentially every street in a 6 mile radius (street names sometimes change block by block) and significant landmarks along those streets. All this information they refer to simply as "the knowledge." It was shown that the hippocampi of these taxi drivers are larger than normal and are larger in drivers who have been driving longer. This study helped change medical opinion on the 'plasticity' of the adult brain and has important implications for brain damage and diseases like Parkinson's.

    It'a an active field of reasearch. A similar study found that the hippocampus of the chickadee increases by 30% in the fall when it needs to memorize the locations of all the food stores it is busily hiding,

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  16. Re:"Politicians' Uniquely Simple Personalities" by switcha · · Score: 4, Funny
    I want clothes made of that stuff [bronze] dammit (and a car)!

    So, you wanna be a pimp? ;)

    --
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  17. Re:Pictures by blancolioni · · Score: 3, Funny

    The study was biased as women (and left-handed men) were left out. Similar to the ducks.

    Women and left handed men were left out of the duck study? I'm going to write to my MP.

  18. Really Quacked Me Up by ChaoticCoyote · · Score: 4, Interesting

    Having a platonic fondness for ducks, I was intrigued by Dr. Moeliker's report. Reading the paper left me pondering the nature of a universe in which:

    • A scientist spends 75 minutes watching one dead animal rape another's corpse.
    • Said scientist collects and dissects the deceased victim, producing a six-page report (with citations!)
    • I actually read this report when I really should be doing something else with my time.

    Perhaps Dr. Moeliker's work stands as a monument to the curiosity of the human mind, and the need to laugh even as we ponder insane questions. At least he didn't duck the issues...

  19. Spam Alert! by Thumb-One · · Score: 3, Funny


    homosexual necrophilia in the mallard duck species. Links and pictures are available...

    I got spam with that same line in the header yesterday.


    ...and no, the links didn't work.

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  20. Re:Oldie but a goodie... by Abm0raz · · Score: 3, Funny

    Q: Why do the Scotts wear kilts?

    A: Sheep can hear a zipper a mile away.


    Q: Why do the English wear pants?

    A: Goats are deaf

    -Ab

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