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Parents Sue School Over Use of Wi-Fi Network
Iphtashu Fitz writes "Both news.com and
Wired are
reporting that an Illinois school district is being sued by parents over their use of
a Wi-Fi network at a local elementary school. Apparently the parents of 5 students
are concerned about potential health risks to their children by the Wi-Fi radio signals.
The parents are seeking class-action status for their suit, which seeks to halt the use
of wireless networks but does not ask for monetary damages. The complete complaint is also available for your reading pleasure on wifinetnews.com." I would never have guessed that the emissions from a wireless network are bad, unlike the healthy emissions given off by the now inescapable cell phones that are everywhere in public.
Does anyone have the address of these people? I've got a load of tinfoil hats they can use to protect their children!
"They redundantly repeated themselves over and over again incessantly without end ad infinitum" -- ibid.
Wait until they find out about Baby Monitors... That'll get them worked up..
All those hours of the day the poor baby was taking in the radio waves. Possibly right next to it's head. Bzzzzt..
I don't know... but whatever it is, don't tell the kids. It might be bad influence.
Backwoods, AL--A group of parents in this small town, calling itself "Citizens for Safer Classrooms", is suing their school district over the installation of what they call "massive portals designed solely for the purpose of subjecting our children to radiation." They claim these portals (which the school district contends are called "windows") are made of material carefully selected to ensure the maximum range of radiation is hitting their children.
"Well, I think it's an outrage," said Patti Jo, a mother of two children in the school district and one of the plaintiffs in the suit. "It's becoming more and more obvious that they're maliciously subjecting our little boys and girls to a whole host of EMR [electro-magnetic radiation], simply so they can save a few pennies on their electricity bill." She started to cry softly. "We intend to petition for a criminal trial, too. We're claiming it's premeditated murder. The school board should fry," she added.
Although both sides are trying to reach an agreement on how best to contain the situation, a school board member we contacted, speaking on condition of anonymity, was resolute. "Sure, they get a little UV radiation burned at times," the anonymous boardmember stated. "But have you looked at the cost of fluorescent tubes lately?"
Punitive damages, if the plaintiffs succeed, are expected to be in the millions.
Jouster
There is a simple solution to this really. The geek kids all need to get together and kick the shit out of the kids whos parents are suing. Damnit, nevermind...
Casca
Light dimmers and motor controllers are major offenders found around the house that would put a shielded microwave oven to shame.
We better shut off the electric grid. Start thinking of the children for God's sake.
I had a libertarian friend who liked to poke fun both at the right-wing nuts who were upset about fluoride along with the liberals who were in a big huff about how bad the conservatives were. He offered up the "fluoron" theory: fluorescent light bulbs emitted "fluorons", subatomic particles smaller than an electron so they were not yet detected by science, but they were shaped like a hammer and sickle (the Soviet emblem), and if one penetrated your skull it would explode a brain cell and turn it into a Communist idealogue. Light exposure (small number of Commie brain cells) turned you into a liberal while heavy doses turned you into a pinko -- and fluorescent lights were everywhere in public schools and government buildings.
I guess we have come full circle and now the loony Left has become what the loony Right once was.