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Telemarketers to Target Cell Phones
sik puppy writes "According to this article on msnbc, telemarketers may soon be targeting cell phones." The article discusses how some of these will be accidental, but others will be in response to things like the do-not-call registry.
Guy: Hello?
Telemarketer: Hello! I am running for Mayor in the City of Ritzville, so this is a political call exempt from the Do Not Call list. I am running for mayor on the platform of keeping our wonderful vacation timeshares as cheap as possible for the good bargain hunters. In fact, you can get this beutiful timeshare right on the beach for less than you might think. Would you like to hear more about these wonderful deals that happen to be in the city I'm running for mayor in? If so, press 1 to talk to a representative now!
I'm putting all you marketing fuckers on notice right now. You spam my cell phone, telemarket my cell phone and you will wake up with a god damn horses head in your bed....
Supporting World Peace Through Nuclear Pacification
Court in session, Glib Telemarketers are appealing a ruling that they can't call cell phones. Aide to judge notifies the judge that there's a call on his ultra-private emergencies only cellphone. Judge retires to his chambers to take the call...
Voice: "Hello. I'm Sodum, and I'm calling on behalf of Glib Telemarketers. Would you be interested in one of our free unlimited-credit credit cards today?"
Judge returns to court and sentances everyone at Glib Telemarketing to a slow and painful death.
It's a small world and it smells funny; I'd buy another if it wasn't for the money; Take back what I paid (SoM)
Boys, boys... When WILL you learn?
Turn those cell phones off, "to conserve energy". Say it; it rolls off the tongue, doesn't it? "Honey, I'm 'conserving energy'!" Then you cannot be called, period -- and almost no telemarketers are crazy enough to leave you a message. Check your messages from time to time, to see that your wife has a flat, etc, but leave the phone off when you're not checking messages or dialling out.
That's what I do... And, the side benefit is, no one is capable of bothering you. Consider this scenario:
Wife (to self): "I wonder where my husband is... The lawn's getting long and we have shopping to do. I think I'll call him and tell him to drag his butt home, I bet he's just in the bar with the boys anyway..."
Ring, ring, "Please leave a message."
Wife (out loud): "Dack, Nabbit! His cell's off! Ooohhh!"
(four hours later, sun going down, too late to mow).
Husband: "Wife, I'm home!"
Wife: (icily) YOUR CELL PHONE WAS OFF.
Husband: "Was it? I turned it on this morning... I wonder if the battery's going dead?"
Wife, grabbing cell phone and repeatedly stabbing the 'ON' button with her thumb: "YOU TURNED IT OFF!"
Husband: "Oh, yeah, I forgot, I was conserving energy... You yelled at me yesterday for turning all the lights on and..."
Wife: "AAAARGH!"
Husband: "Jesus, lose your temper, too. Man... I'm leaving! I'll see you later. While I'm gone, you think about your abusive attitude..."
(Husband goes back to bar. Wife calls mother and shrieks for half an hour straight. When husband gets back, wife is asleep and things are quiet).
Husband: "I win!"
Farewell! It's been a fine buncha years!
Wife: "Hello Mr. Locksmith, can you come over and change all my house locks? I'll make it worth your while (nudge, nudge, wink, wink) if you have it done before my no good loser of a husband gets back from the bar."
Wife (looking outside to husband who is waiting outside the home at 4am in the rain):
"I win!"