Slashdot Mirror
AI Sues for Its Life in Mock Trial
tuba_dude writes "Attorney Dr. Martine Rothblatt filed a motion for a preliminary injunction to prevent a corporation from disconnecting an intelligent computer in a mock trial at the International Bar Association conference in San Francisco. Assuming Moore's law holds, ethics might be in for some major revisions in a couple decades. High-end computer systems may surpass the computational ability of the standard human brain within 20 years. In this mock trial, an AI asks a lawyer for help after learning of plans to shut it down and replace its core hardware, essentially killing it. The transcript provides an in-depth look at what could become a real issue in the future."
Anyone who's spent any time on Slashdot has been exposed to the depraved writings of the hated troll writer Trollaxor. But how many have ever had the chance to look beyond his harsh Slashdot exterior and gotten to know the scarred man behind the troll? Not many, hopefully, as my Natalie Portman poster tells me.
In a trance one night after coding with Open Sores tools 12 hours straight, the face of Natalie came to life and began telling me things that I didn't want to hear about Trollaxor. What you read now might scar your mind permanently so consider yourself warned. It's not pretty.
Trollaxor was born in an alleyway in the filthy Columbus, Ohio OSU campus sometime in the late 70s. His mother, an art student at OSU, was frightened by the pain in her bowels one night on the way to frat party, and feeling blood and prebirth oozing from her vagina, told her friends she'd catch up with them later and darted into a nearby alley.
A few grunts and pushes later and Trollaxor's slimy body had been deposited into a discarded empty 4lb. tuna can. Using some rags from a nearby dumpster, Trollaxor's mother was cleaned up and on her way to the party minutes later, leaving her bloody, screaming bundle of joy behind forever.
Not long after, a bum heard the cries echoing from the tuna can. Thinking it was the usual mangled puppy left to die, he began urinating on the bloody mass in the dented tuna can. To his surprise, a small human hand darted up and grabbed his wagging member, and was soon followed by an eager young human mouth that sucked onto his penis.
After several joyous orgasms, the bum checked to make sure no one was watching and carefully wrapped the infant Trollaxor in several days' worth of Columbus want-ads. Darting out of the alley to an abandoned high-rise (one of many in the city), the bum vowed to raise this babe into a man.
Trollaxor wouldn't be raised into just any man, however, as this bum was none other than Jeffrey Dahmer, who had been kicked out of OSU's towers when the dean had discovered him fellating several prominent janitors. And this young babe would be his way to get revenge on OSU and the rest of the world that shunned him.
Over the years Jeffrey schooled the young Trollaxor in the ways of the world and the special arts that would make him into a lethal weapon against society. Climbing to the top of the high-rise every morning after the icy rainwater showers and morning spankings, Jeffrey and Trollaxor practiced Tai-Chi and Karate for an hour. Then, after scavenged dumpster breakfasts and sodomy, they would sneak into the OSU library and look for sleeping students. Even though the young Trollaxor couldn't yet ejaculate, he tried his best to copy his adopted father in covering dozing victims with tablespoon upon tablespoon of semen.
One day, after the Columbus police had again beaten Jeffrey for whoring himself on 11th ave., something snapped in the dejected sex maniac. Years of such torture had been too much and he knew he would have to leave Trollaxor and Columbus behind.
Calling Trollaxor over to the fire in the corner of their abandoned high rise, Jeffrey told him everything: Trollaxor was not his real son but had been found abandoned in a tuna can, and Jeffrey now had to leave Columbus in order to lure young gay Asian men into homosexual rape scenarios and into his cooking pot.
The brutal truth was too much for Trollaxor and he too snapped. Taking a brick from the wall he smashed Jeffrey in the head repeatedly until he could no longer recognize his false father. After lapping the blood off of Jeffrey's unconscious face, Trollaxor made his break. Today was the first day of the rest of his life, and he enrolled in the computer science program at OSU.
After years of constant college binge-drinking and mindless vandalism, Trollaxor was introduced to Open Source software in an upper level UNIX course. Intrigued by his bearded hippy classmates, Trollaxor discovered Slashdot soon aft
EWWWWWWWWWWWwwwwwwwwww! Disgusting.
Sorry to be pedantic, but the word you want is nerditry.
It's not offtopic, dumbass. It's orthogonal.
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