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Microsoft Offers A Bounty On Virus Writers
Iphtashu Fitz writes "According to news.com Microsoft will announce a bounty of $250,000 on Wednesday for information on who wrote two recent Windows viruses. The bounty is offered for information that leads to the arrest of the people who released the MSBlast worm and the SoBig virus. Microsoft will officially announce the reward in a joint press conference with the FBI and U.S. Secret Service Wednesday morning. This is the first time a company has offered money for information about the identity of the cybercriminals. Could this be the start of a new trend in going after the writers of viruses & worms?"
But this is ridiculous!
Tomorrow: $500k reward for writers of Linux or Apple viruses
...closer together.
Later in the same press conference, newly appointed Communications Secretary William Gates III announced that sale of all software in the United States will cease Monday, to be replaced by a Federally subsidised regime of nationally distributed software based on a uniform technology. In response to questions Mr. Gates indicated that the vendor supplying the software had not yet been selected, before laughing maniacally.
Read Pynchon.
1. Write virus that causes billions of dollars in damage.
2. ??
3. Profit!!!
Microsoft just revealed step 2 as "Turn in your accomplice, get immunity and $250k".
Because we know these virus-writing punks can't resist bragging about their exploits in whatever low-rent Usenet hang-outs they frequent, it should be interesting to see if there is as little honor among them as there is rumored to be among thieves.
Script-Kiddie: "Dude! You turned me in to... to... Microsoft!?! That's cold!"
Former Friend of Script-Kiddie: "Sorry, man, tuition at MIT is a real bitch, yo."
S.K.: "MIT? What choo talking 'bout, MIT? You go to Westchester Community College!"
F.F.o.S.K.: "That was before I got this here letter of recommendation from my new sponsor, William H. Gates III. Hey, whaddya think of these new Birkenstocks? Too gay? I kinda think they set off my eyes pretty well, yo..."
S.K.: "Dooooooood....!" (As two big guys in MS-branded butterfly suits drag him into back of van)
F.F.o.S.K.: "Hey, look me up when you get out, man. By then I should be setting myself up in my own company and will be able to use a guy with your leet skills."
1) Claim to be the virus writer
2) Get $250k
3) Bail yourself out of jail
Wow! Profit at stage #2 and no ???! This *has* to be a good plan!
I mod down anyone who says "I will be modded down for this", regardless of the rest of their comment
This reminds me of O.J.'s promise not to rest until he personally found the real killers.
Cantankerous old coot since 1957.
Do they want them dead, or alive?
Lisp is the Tengwar of programming languages.
In particular, Microsoft would like to locate and permanently detain the individual responsible for the treacherous malware program called "Linux." This highly dangerous program causes Windows to not be present at all on any infected computer! Since, as Steve Ballmer keeps telling us, every time you fail to buy a Microsoft program, God kills a kitten ... Microsoft is offering a large bounty to find the author of this "Linux" program.
God Bless Mom, Apple Pie, and John Ashcroft! Preseve the American way of life! Find and destroy the evil virus writers!
Tired of FB/Google censorship? Visit UNCENSORED!
I wrote the MsBlaster and the entire SoBig series! I'll plead guilty! who will split the bounty fifty-fifty with me?
It's better to be the foot on the boot than the face on the pavement. ~~ tkx Kadin2048
They freeze the bastards in carbonite
End of Line.
"Cheap" is right, or an understatement.
Any decent reward these days should be at least [placing pinky to corner of mouth] one million dollars.
If Microsoft makes it commonplace to pay $250,000 for finding a virus writer, it will go broke soon. After all they only have $50 Billion in cash.
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Long live the Speaker Bracelet
Rolo D. Monkey
Nobody has yet indicated whether the award is good whether the virus writer is alive or dead.
A clearer statement is in order.