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Counter-Strike For Xbox - Gold, Previewed, Cheat-Free?

Thanks to GamerFeed for reprinting the press release revealing that Valve's Xbox conversion of team-based tactical FPS Counter-Strike has now gone gold, and will be available in stores on November 18th. The console version boasts "seven never-before-seen multiplayer maps, one new counter-terrorist team, one new terrorist team and downloadable maps via Xbox Live", and GameSpot have a hands-on preview that rates the conversion as "a tight incarnation of the PC shooter", and mentions "subtle tweaks to [level] layout that will force veteran players to learn some new tricks." The Microsoft press release also claims: "The secure environment of Xbox Live ensures that gamers will experience nothing but cheat-free play."

2 of 38 comments (clear)

  1. tsarkon reports DEN INFLOTTADE YODADOCKAN by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic

    I am Viklas, from Stockholm. I have been reading much here. There has been much reading in my sight, and I have wrote many things on my mind.

    tsarkon rapporterar - DEN INFLOTTADE YODADOCKAN INFLOTTAD YODA !

    8 steg for att smorja in ditt anus i forberedelse till inforning av yodadocka

    1) utfor tarmuttomning. helst efter inmundigande av laxerande medel,
    plommon, kal samt starksaser.

    2) stryk anda med Hamamelis Virginiana (LINN.), avbar ohyggliga klador

    3) fardigstall anus genom att slappna av.

    4) applicera rikligt med vaselin eller dylikt glidmedel in i andtarmen
    atminstone till krokningen, samt anlagg aven din yodatval alternativt
    yodadocka med namnd substans.

    5) peta i analoppningen ett antal ganger for att aktivera ringmuskeln sa
    att yodaforemalet lattare gar in.

    6) medelst grensle, glid ned over din yodafigur

    7) se till att ha i beredskap, en apparat for att fiska ut yoda fran ditt
    rektum. har du en yodatval med snore sa tjanar naturligtvis detta som
    namnd apparat.

    8) ror dig glatt runt i din kontorsstol medan ditt feta, sexlosa jag
    njuter av andtarmsmassagen du far. Las slashdot. Onanera till japanska
    tecknade serier. Skicka e-post till en av redaktorerna, i hopp om att de
    hedrar dig med ett svar. Sok medlemsskap i flera kontaktannonser utan att
    lagga marke till (foredrar engelsktalande) samt (foredrar laskunnig). Du
    antar att du kan ha battre forutsattningar da. Bestall nagot javla skit
    fran Think Geek. Fa Linux att starta pa en Black & Decker apparat. onska
    att du kunde ha rad med en ny dator. Vidhall att IDE ar battre an SCSI
    darfor att du inte har rad med SCSI. Vidhall hur Linux ar overlagset.
    Kompilera en karna pa din 486SX. Pasta att du avskyr Windows men anvander
    det till Everquest. Beundra Ghyslains mod i att gora den dar underbara
    star wars filmen. Konvertera officiellt till religionen Jedi. Tala om hur
    intressant Mega Tokyo ar. Forsok att se till att du utfor dina vanliga
    femtio tilltyck pa Slashdot, samtliga som blir avvisade eftersom folk som
    inte ar fetare an CowboyNeal far skicka in. Hantera rakliknande penis
    medelst uttryck en yodarost som sager: Kann kraften, padawan, kannn
    krrafftttennnn. hurgm. Ja. Ja. Nar nio hundra ar du nar, en penis halften
    sa stor kommer du inte att ha.

    Allt detta pa en dag med en yodafigur uppkord i din rov.

  2. tsarkon reports on greased up yoda doll by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic

    "Oh, it's very simple indeed Master Jinn. Fuck your apprentice, or the lovely Greased Up Yoda Doll!

    At Xanatos' statement, Greased Up Yoda Doll paled and whimpered. He tightened his grip around his waist, and pulled a vibro-blade from the folds of his cloak. Without taking his eyes from Qui-Gon, he powered up the knife, placing it against the aged doll's throat.

    Qui-Gon steadfastly held Xanatos' gaze, but did not move. Xanatos narrowed his eyes, calling on the Force to hold the blade in place against Greased Up Yoda Doll, and ripped his blouse from his body, hands moving to his breasts, fingers exploring, pinching, stroking, teasing. Greased Up Yoda Doll sucked in a shaky breath, remaining otherwise still and silent. His eyes, however, told a different panicked story as they pleaded with Qui-Gon. Displeased with both Qui- Gon and Greased Up Yoda Doll's lack of overt reactions, Xanatos' fingers moved to play with the Greased Up Yoda Doll's nipples, pulling at them until he gasped.

    After a few moments Qui-Gon closed his eyes, shying away from looking into the Greased Up Yoda Doll' eyes. He refused to watch the young Greased Up Yoda Doll suffering in one of Xanatos' petty revenge plans.

    "Leave him alone," Qui-Gon ground out.

    "I think not, Jinn," replied Xanatos, voice lilting. "Only you have the power to make that happen." He raised a querying eyebrow at the Jedi.

    Qui-Gon's eyes opened and drifted over to where his naked and unconscious padawan lay face down on a stone bench, his arms chained to the wall. With a burst of the Force, Xanatos put the Greased Up Yoda Doll to sleep, dropping his to floor.

    He grabbed Qui-Gon's arm and pulled him forcibly to stand next to Obi- Wan. Qui-Gon reached out with the Force to assess his padawan's condition, silently cursing the dampening collar fitted snugly around his neck. He could no more help Obi-Wan than he could have helped the Greased Up Yoda Doll.

    Xanatos grabbed Obi-Wan's hips, pulling him to his knees. Even though unconscious Obi-Wan moaned as his chained arms were pulled painfully taut.

    While Xanatos' attention was on Obi-Wan, and the guards were trussing up the unconscious Greased Up Yoda Doll, Qui-Gon seized his chance, eyes narrowing, as he attempted to gather his the Force around him to knock Xanatos out, his shoulders slumping as he realized it was still out of his reach.

    In a single motion, Xanatos turned, grabbing one of Qui-Gon's wrists as he did so. His face filled with fury as he snarled, "You forget yourself, Jedi!" He twisted Qui-Gon's wrist with enough power to break it, but stopped before the bones snapped. He smirked as Qui-Gon stifled a moan at the pain. "Not so high and mighty now, are we, Qui-Gon? Without the Force, your kind are nothing but a bunch of craven weaklings."

    A Force-push caused Qui-Gon to stumble backwards, clutching his injured wrist.

    With his eyes still fixed on Qui-Gon's, Xanatos used the Force to undo the larger man's trousers, pulling them down. "Get on with it!" he hissed at his former Master.

    Qui-Gon's face couldn't hide the shock, the sheer terror he felt - he knew exactly what his former apprentice was so callously ordering him to do. "Xanatos, I... I don't think I can do this."

    The dark one glanced down at Qui-Gon's limp penis. "Oh, I think we can do something about that," he leered. Qui-Gon found himself pinned to the wall with Force-bonds. Xanatos dropped to his knees and slowly moved forward. When he reached Qui-Gon, one hand came up to gently fondle his balls. Slowly his licked and nipped along the inside of Qui-Gon's thighs and over his hip. When he could feel the man beginning to harden, Xanatos switched to a more direct route and swallowed him whole.

    Qui-Gon struggled against the Force-bonds, moaning softly. He thrashed his head from side to side, lips parting and eyes sliding closed.

    "No, no, no," he cried out in continual deni