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Disposable Cell Phones Arrive

Posted by CowboyNeal on from the junking-one's-conversations dept.

headGasket writes "After the disposable cameras, here comes the disposable cell phones. Ideal for trash talk. Seriously, there is a $5 incentive to not dispose of it in the trash and bring it back for a rebate on the next one." These seem like a nice alternative to being locked into a lengthy contract, or for people who only need a cell phone for a short period of time.

10 of 434 comments (clear)

  1. Wop Hoo! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Finally, a cell phone that works with my tin-foil hat!

    FP?

  2. Where's my disposable car by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    It would make parking a lot easier if I could just drive my car into a dumpster.
    And how about clothes that last for 1 day so we can keep up with the latest trends.
    Or pets that die after a week, for when you want some love around Christmas but don't want an 8-20 year commitment.

    1. Re:Where's my disposable car by rizawbone · · Score: 5, Funny
      Or pets that die after a week...

      Looks like you've never had a goldfish.

    2. Re:Where's my disposable car by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

      ...or a Hyundai or Kia

    3. Re:Where's my disposable car by LaCosaNostradamus · · Score: 3, Funny

      It would make parking a lot easier if I could just drive my car into a dumpster.

      You could just drive into the Bronx, like people do today, for the same effect.

      And how about clothes that last for 1 day so we can keep up with the latest trends.

      Your clothes will only last a day or so, too, in the Bronx, if you stand still long enough ... say, 45 seconds. This is why pedestrians don't stop at crosswalks if they can help it.

      Or pets that die after a week, for when you want some love around Christmas but don't want an 8-20 year commitment.

      Just get married ... it won't last more than 2 years anyway. I'm hearing the term "starter marriage" nowadays, kind of like a "starter home" except with more practicality and less morality.

      --
      [You have a stable society when some nut guns down a schoolyard and the law doesn't change.]
  3. 21st Century Business Plan by BriSTO(V)L · · Score: 5, Funny

    This is how to make money today: 1. Think of current newish technology that is expensive but cool. 2. Figure that in 5 years it'll be cheap. 3. Take out patents on the *disposable* use of said tech. 4. Wait 5 years for someone elso to make it cheap. 5. Profit 6. Have fun This is probably a reasonably viable business plan - my tongue is only partly in my cheek...

  4. Finally, a solution by rock_climbing_guy · · Score: 3, Funny

    Now, I can make all my phone sex calls without worrying about my parents seeing the paper trail. w00t!!!

    --
    Wh47 d1d j00 541, 31337 15n't t3h r0xor5 ne m0r3???
  5. Even crappier cell phones arrive by ljavelin · · Score: 3, Funny

    North American cell phone customers were happily surprised this morning when Merison Vireless released a cell phone so shoddy and crappy that most would be happy to dispose of it.

    "I've been waiting for the shittiest cell phone I could," remarked Janice McFarley of Prescott Hills "the phone Merison sold me wasn't that great, but I was planning to keep the unit even though I could no longer afford the service. With this phone, well, it simply has no value! I'd throw it away without a second thought!".

    The new "KrapPhone", with a limited feature set and shoddy quality, is perfect for service providers that are looking to milk customers that have very little money. Robert Slaton of Merison Vireless explained to us that they could make a tidy profit on welfare mothers and the homeless.

    "We find that welfare mothers would like a cell phone, but they can't afford the $30 monthly fees. With this totally crappy phone, we can sell them service, make a tidy profit, and the destitute will be able to remain only 3 or 4 payments behind on their rent. Once they default on our charges, they can simply throw away the phone under the guise of it's crappiness.

  6. How much easier does it need to be?! by Gudlyf · · Score: 2, Funny
    They made '911' so it was an easy to remember, easy to dial number, yet still a bit difficult to misdial. Now they want to assign a single button to it? So someone's in the back seat of their car making out, a stray [insert appendage here] hits the '911' button, and hilarity ensues:

    *beep* <- 911 was just pressed
    Operator: "911 emergency, how can I assist you?"
    Caller: "*muffle* *muffle* mmmph *muffle*"
    Operator: "Sir...er..or madam, are you in trouble? Where can we locate you?"
    Caller: "*shuffle* *muffle* mmm *smack* *shuffle* *beep* *muffle* *beep*"
    Operator: "Hello?"
    Caller: "*beep beep beep beep beep beep...*"

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    Trolls lurk everywhere. Mod them down.
  7. Re:Um.. not a nice alternative.. by mikeswi · · Score: 2, Funny

    Indeed. You really must wonder about those people who INSIST on having their rights respected and who hold that funny little view that "Innocent until proven guilty" should be honored. Why it's downright SEDITIOUS! Everyone knows that anyone who complains that their privacy has disappeared is just a terrorist whose evil plan has been frustrated by all the attention.

    These people really need to looosen their tin foil beanies and GET WITH THE PROGRAM! Everyone knows our overlords at Homeland Security and the DoJ respect the rights they've graciously allowed us to keep.

    Perhaps those people should be rounded up and kept somewhere for safekeeping and let us HONEST, PATRIOT ACT COMPLIANT citizens get on with our lives without worrying about such potentially dangerous persons.

    *hides his outlawed copy of the old US Constitution under the loose floorboard in the kitchen and looks around warily...*

    --
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