Slashdot Mirror
Slashback: Simpsons, Buyouts, Droid
Shooting down those trial balloons. Glitch Tybalt writes with an update to the report that German ISP T-Online might acquire AOL: "This just in from The Register: apparently the buyout wasn't really going to be a buyout, only 70%, and there haven't been any confirmed reports on this. One spokesman for T-Online said '[Such a deal] is more unlikely than likely,'"
On a similar note, gletham writes "A flurry of reports [like this one] over the past day indicated that Nokia was talking with Psion and was seeking to buy the company. This latest piece from Reuters confirms that the topic was merely a rumor and speculation gone rampant. Mind you, with Psion's stock jumping 10% and discussion on Nokia lists and forums quite brisk, you can't help but speculate that Nokia may in fact consider this in the future. The timing is very good, particularly considering Motorola's recent selloff of Symbian ownership. I can't wait to here an official report from Nokia on this one! If all works out, we may even witness a rebirth of the Psion handheld using Series 90!"
Hey, maybe they just hadn't thought of it yet ... wo1verin3 writes "Previously reported was that Fox News Considered Suing Fox's 'The Simpsons' for using a news ticker spoofing the news service. Apparently this was only satire and an apology has been issued.
'Nonetheless, "The Simpsons" (the show, not the characters) issued an apology yesterday: "Matt was being satirical and certainly there was never any issue between the show and Fox News. We regret any confusion.'"
At this rate, it'll be #1 by March! An anonymous reader writes "According to the latest round of leaked information to reach The Register, the Virginia Tech Big Mac has reached 10.28 teraflops. A solid #3 win, 'This places it behind the 5,120 processor Earth Simulator system - 35.9 teraflops - and the 8,160 processor ASCI Q system - 13.8 teraflops.'"
Hold tight, though: Elysdir points to a AP article, pointing out that "the Top 500 list will be officially announced Nov. 18, so it's not clear to me whether the #3 ranking is official or not."
A Droid You Can Build From Downloadable Plans. In this article, LinuxDevices checks out OAP, an open source droid. OAP shares the same VIA Mini-ITX mainboard as the VIA-Roboteq "PC-bot" featured in an earlier Slashdot story, but OAP's project goals seem a little more ambitious. According to the FAQ, OAP will eventually be able to 'Read your favourite news web pages or blogs aloud to you.' A personal droid that reads Slashdot aloud to you -- what more could you ask for?"
(A girlfriend?)
As soon as the burly guard unshackled him he made his move. Exhaling a feminine "hmmph" he weakly slapped the guard. He was quickly taken to the ground, receiving a swift kick to the ribs before being restrained. As he was dragged to the solitary confinement cell he felt nothing but relief. "At least in solitary," he thought "I'll be safe." Unfortunately for CmdrTaco he had picked the wrong guard to mess with.
The next few days were uneventful. The time in his cell he spent evenly between sleeping, reading a "Perl for Dummies" book he had gotten from the book cart, and masturbating furiously. His self-flagellation was interrupted on the fourth day. The burly guard he had attacked earlier stepped into his cell. The gleam in the guards eye and the mean grin on his face made CmdrTaco's pecker quickly shrivel in his hand. "You fucked with the wrong man when you fucked with Michael Simms," said the guard. "The inmates here call me The Asshole for a reason. Now come with me, punk."
The guard led him down the hall to one of several empty shower stalls. He roughly threw CmdrTaco in the stall and locked the door. CmdrTaco was petrified. His mind raced as he imagined the myriad of different tortures that could be in store for him. His worst fears were confirmed when the guard returned. In his hands were a short black dress, black stilleto heels, and a curly blonde wig. "Strip down and put this on, bitch." CmdrTaco did as instructed and was pleased to notice that the dress fit well and the heels gave him a nice slimming effect. The burly guard admired the drag queen. "The GNAA is gonna love you!"
The guard left the shower stall, only to return minutes later. He opened the door and led 20 large black men into the stall. "CmdrTaco, meet the Gay Nigger Association of America. GNAA, meet CmdrTaco. I'm sure you all will get along fine." With that the guard slammed the shower door closed and walked away laughing.
The men approached CmdrTaco, backing him into a corner. The apparent leader stepped forward. "No matter what I'm gonna fuck that purdy lil' ass of yours. Now I can fuck it dry or you can lube it up for me." CmdrTaco knew he had no choice. He kneeled in front of the leader, who began to slap his face with his 10 black inches. Puss from syphilictic sores quickly covered CmdrTaco's cheeks. When the leader was sufficiently aroused he placed his throbbing cock up to CmdrTaco's lips. As soon as CmdrTaco opened his mouth the leader violently shoved his manhood to the back of CmdrTaco's throat and exclaimed "Swallow my shit you cracker bitch!" CmdrTaco gagged as he was violently face fucked.
Just when he was about to pass out the leader pulled out, turned him around and shoved his cock into CmdrTaco's ass. CmdrTaco began to scream in agony but his cries were quickly muffled by one of the other gang member's cocks. They rode him like that for the better part of an hour. When one man finished another quickly took his place. Just as CmdrTaco was getting used to the throbbing pain in his anus the men stopped. One man lay down on the floor and CmdrTaco was told to get on top of him and take his dick inside him. Exhausted and humiliated, CmdrTaco had no will left to fight. As soon as he inserted the penis another man came up behind him and began to force his cock into CmdrTaco's already filled anus. Again his screams of agony were muffled, this time by a smelly black anus.
For another hour he was violated in this way. When the men were finished with him he couldn't walk and his mouth was filled with dingleberries and ass hairs. Before they all left the leader had some parting words for CmdrTaco: "Thanks for that sweet piece of ass, punk. We'll see you again tomorrow. Oh by the way, we all have AIDS." It was going to be a long ten years for CmdrTaco.
here
That's why it's called "Slashback," you mouth-breathing troglodyte.
Take it easy. Nobody asked you. Your veiled attempt to attack the good people at Fox News exposes you for the crypto-communist you are.
There's only one way to find out: *slurp* *slurp* *slurp* *slurp*...
In communist Russia, the artical reads you!
Pretty Pictures!
Mmmmmmh, babies . . . I could eat a truckload!
this isn't redundant motefucker!! this is the first time this has been posted and it ain't fucking redundant you communist liberal pigs!!
FoxNews must have a giant bug up its butt if it's willing to sue the people that saved it's own sister network over something that (if possible) is even more obviously satire than Al Franken's book title. I guess when you have the name "Fox" attached to the title of your company, you have to fight to the death for every litte bit of credibility you can get your hands on.
Of course I get all my news from A Bare and Balanced News Source.
reads Slashdot aloud to you
...."'
Robot: Story: 'Linux Kernal 2.6 Released'
Robot: 'Subject: "First Post", By: Anonymous Coward, Body: w O O t'
Robot: 'Subject: "Frost Prist", By: Anonymous Coward, Body: I roxor exclamation point'
Robot: 'Subject: "Re: Frost Prist", By: Anonymous Coward, Body: Yuo Fail IT explamation point.'
Robot: 'Subject: "GNAA Own Z yuo" By: Anonymous Coward Body: GNAA (GAY BAD WORD ASSOCIATION OF AMERICA) is the first organization which gathers GAY BAD WORD from all over America and abroad for one common goal - being GAY
Robot: 'Subject"Re: GNAA Own Z yuo", By: Anonymous Coward, Body: "STOP POSTING THIS SHIT.'