Slashdot Mirror
Mafia Tech Support
Mzilikazi writes "A story from Wired about performing tech support for the mob, mainly focusing on gambling. Some interesting information is presented about P2P applications. Frankly it sounds like fiction to me (you can already imagine the movie being made -- 'I Was a Hacker for The Mob'), but the story is interesting nonetheless and shows that if you're skilled and determined but have a flexible moral compass, there's a lot of job opportunities out there." I started reading it for the mob references, but kept on reading for the details of how to run an illegal gambling organization.
You'd figure the average geek would make one too many Simpson's reference about "Fat Tony" and get his ass whacked before he could do anything useful.
Learning HOW to think is more important than learning WHAT to think.
1. Admin LAN for the Mafia.
2. ???
3. PROFIT!!
But do they walk around in jackets with MAFIA written on their back in neon-green electropigment?
"Mafia, you've got a friend in the family."
Integrate Keynote and LaTeX
Mafia Don Announces New Anti-Spam Venture
As the NSA and FBI fear, traditional crime organizations have been incorporating high-tech communication into their organizations. Although Janet Reno was quoted stating "This is law enforcement's worst nightmare.", techies around the world are sure to be pleased with one New York Syndicate's new venture.
It all started when Don Dominiqi signed onto his AOL account last Monday morning. His inbox was filled with "Make Money Fast", "Viagra On-Line", and "Teenybopper Web Sex" ads. Lost amidst the drivel was an important note detailing a non-taxed shipment of Marlboros, which were later confiscated by the BATF. Little did he know, as he shouted "Bring me the left hand of this f*cking gutterslime!" what would become of it all.
Later that same day, Billy "Run!" Brutekowski and Larry "My Eyes!" Plucker cornered the pasty-faced offender of the Family in a small cyber cafe in Greenwich Village. "This was by far the creepiest place the Boss has ever sent us." stated Billy, who only spoke on condition of anonymity. "Everyone in this place looked pale and sickly, like they had already been 'spoken to'. We asked for this punk, and several people quickly pointed him out. Most of the scum we find in gin joints aren't so quick to finger one of their own," Billy continued.
"He must not watch much TV, because this sh*t didn't even flinch when we came to the corner he was hiding in," Larry proceeded to relate. "We dropped this sheet of paper the Boss had given us on his table and he says 'So you guys want to make money fast, eh?' He puts out his and says to give him $20. This scrawny little dirtball tells me to give him $20!" Larry was quite agitated at this part in his story, and his description of how Sammy Spammer's hand fell off was quite garbled.
Billy continued, "Up till now, this was a routine visit. We was just being playful. The weird sh*t began when we tried to leave." "This pimply faced kid blocks the door as we try to leave, and I'm thinking to myself 'Great, a f*cking Karate Kid hero. He just stand there, and then he hands me a $5 bill." Billy pulls out the $5, and holds it like it is his first quarter from his favorite grandmother. "They lined up after that, and we had $175 in 'tips' when we left the joint."
Later that day the Don himself visited the caf, unwilling to believe the story. Although the details are unclear, sources at the caf indicate that the Don has hired them to build and host a new Anti-Spam site. Through a SSL transaction system, the site will accept spam complaints and credit card donations towards 'solutions to problems'. Multiple complaints against the same spammer are added to the total until an acceptable solution has been found.
Larry tells us that a typical $250 solution is a broken hand, and for $2000 all anyone ever sees again of 'the problem' are his shoes.
The URL is to be announced next week, and the cyber caf's phones have been jammed with requests for more information.
"It is a greater offense to steal men's labor, than their clothes"
The author Simson Garfinkel could also get whacked because he knows the guy who talked.
The authors could've figured out a more cryptic pseudonym. Expect a knock on your door Simon and Garfunkel! (:
Ladies, form queue here -->
Actually, it would be the following...
1. Admin LAN for the Mafia
2. ???
3. Profit!!
4. Get whacked and dropped in the Hudson with a new pair cement overshoes.
From one of the BSD Games fortune cookies:
A gangster assembled an engineer, a chemist, and a physicist. He explained that he was entering a horse in a race the following week and the three assembled guys had the job of assuring that the gangster's horse would win. They were to reconvene the day before the race to tell the gangster how they each propose to ensure a win. When they reconvened the gangster started with the engineer:
Gangster: OK, Mr. engineer, what have you got?
Engineer: Well, I've invented a way to weave metallic threads into the saddle blanket so that they will act as the plates of a battery and provide electrical shock to the horse.
G: That's very good! But let's hear from the chemist.
Chemist: I've synthesized a powerful stimulant that dissolves into simple blood sugars after ten minutes and therefore cannot be detected in post-race tests.
G: Excellent, excellent! But I want to hear from the physicist before I decide what to do. Physicist?
Physicist: Well, first consider a spherical horse in simple harmonic motion...
I wonder what a computer scientist would be up to? ;)
Qu'on me donne six lignes écrites de la main du plus honnête homme, j'y trouverai de quoi le faire pendre.
"tech support for the mob" and "about P2P applications"
I thought organized crime on the internet has already hit the news...
extorting people for money, manipulating courts and laywers, going after people's teenage daughters.. (shoot, now I'm confused if I mean SCO or RIAA)
It gives a whole new meaning to the phrase googlewhack.
"Accept that some days you are the pigeon, and some days you are the statue." - David Brent, Wernham Hogg
If you have a wayward moral compass, work for the mob. But for the trully evil there is the RIAA.
I started reading it for the mob references, but kept on reading for the details of how to run an illegal gambling organization."
you'll never be incognito
sorry....
;)
Creationists are a lot like zombies. Slow, but powerful and numerous. And they all want to eat our brains.
This guy is obviously a shill. I mean it's a fucking article in Wired for god's sake, of course it's garbage.
"You're right," Fisheye says. "I should have set it on 'whip' or 'chop.'"
I'd rather make $150k and keep it in my shoebox.
Good luck finding a company that will pay directly into a shoebox...
Karma: It's all a bunch of tree-huggin' hippy crap!
Don't kid yourself -- it's not that organized.
CICILY, NEW WORK - A press release from the Recording Industry Artists of America indicates they have merged with the Mafia in a move to focus entirely on their core business, strong arm tactics and racketteering.
Well known inside man Simson Garfinkel wasn't availble for at the time of the interview. It is believe he is on vacation fishing with the swimmers in the East River. However, his musical partner Paul Art was available and made the comment "... with everybody downloading our music our careers were starting to suck even more, we needed protection. I mean, we couldn't have grandmothers downloading our music off KaZoom Light Extreme so contacting The Mob was the obvious choice. Plus now we have the inside track on our new musical winning a Fat Tony.".
In a related story it was revealted today the Mafia has connections to news site Slashdot and network provider Akamai. By threatening to submitting to story to Slashdot containing the phrases "Linus, hot grits, Natalie Portman, and homemade p0rn" with a link to the company website victims had little choice but to subscribe to Akamai services. It is rumoured the RIAA is attempting to partner with the mob to use this technique to boost diminishing traffic to the N' Sync web site.
But you will still need to lower your standards if you want a job with the RIAA.
God I hope they read my monster.com resume soon. I'll make sure to amend my resume with 'low moral compass'.
members are seeing something, your seeing an ad
!!! Nobster !!!
Shake downs were never this easy!!!
Collect those handy creditcard numbers
Share fake ID's at the push of a button.
All that and more for a mere C$20.000,- kickback Just plugin and watch the cash roll-in
roads/freeways are (should) mostly paid through the gas tax. Public education is property taxes, police are a combination of property/local income. 911 is paid for through taxes on phone lines.
(Federal) Income taxes pay for the military, FBI, DEA, and those agencies. But many people object to the overreaching of the federal government, such as welfare, the education programs that amount to states getting back 'federal' money if they follow the federal requirements (like the push for 21 min drinking age by tieing highway funding to it).
Of course, this is what all the pork amounts too.
I don't read AC A human right
"Good luck finding a company that will pay directly into a shoebox...
Assuming its real, what about shoeboxes that are made out of cement!
http://saveie6.com/
"I started reading it for the mob references, but kept on reading for the details of how to run an illegal gambling organization."
The submitter and mr. Columbine could join forces and see if tldp.org would accept an Illegal-gambling-admin HOWTO seeing there already is a Linux consultancy HOWTO and similar bits.
I'm sorry if I haven't offended anyone
Strange world, but I found a $75/hr gig for a friend in Boston on JobSearchEngine. The punch line is it was for writing VB. Where's fair in this world?
Saying Android is a family of phones is akin to saying Linux is a family of PCs.
"He's been formatted."
"I clocked him all the way back to a C prompt.""I gave him a dll error he'll never forget."
Sorry, I just had to get those off my chest.......we are from the government - we are here to help...
Ha! I got you! That fellow from Nigeria , whose name i cannot reveal because it's confidential, said in his email that he could pay in a shoebox.
Slashdot Sig. version 0.1alpha. Use at your own risk.
If I had a flexible moral compass then I'd be a manager ... or maybe even a CEO by now.
"Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever." --Napoleon Bonaparte
I hear the Outback is a pretty good place for steak outs..