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Could Google Be SCO's Next Big Target?

Posted by timothy on from the many-cpus-to-extort-royalties-on dept.

An anonymous reader writes "Well, Darl and co. may have decided which company to sue next: Google. Sources say Google will be sued for not paying their Linux taxes. The story quotes 'Industry wags are saying that God invented SCO to give people a company to hate more than Microsoft.'" This is all speculation until such a suit is filed, though.

19 of 677 comments (clear)

  1. Yes...uh huh by HungWeiLo · · Score: 5, Funny

    and Google could just "accidentally" link all SCO investor sites to certain websites specializing in goat mating signals.

    --
    There are a huge number of yeast infections in this county. Probably because we're downriver from the bread factory.
    1. Re:Yes...uh huh by SheldonYoung · · Score: 4, Funny


      Okay, who's called dibbs on scoatse.cx?

  2. Re:Coincidence? by Neophytus · · Score: 5, Funny

    *moderates +5 aluminium hat*

  3. Does God Hate SCO? by handy_vandal · · Score: 4, Funny
    "The story quotes 'Industry wags are saying that God invented SCO to give people a company to hate more than Microsoft.'" This is all speculation until such a suit is filed, though."
    All speculation? Huh -- the part about part about God and hating SCO sounds pretty convincing to me ....

    -kgj
    --
    -kgj
    1. Re:Does God Hate SCO? by ameoba · · Score: 4, Funny

      You can only spend so many millenia making bad things happen to the Jews before it gets boring. Linux users are now the new "Chosen People".

      /me starts learning Egyptian.

      --
      my sig's at the bottom of the page.
  4. Let's analyse this seriously by heironymouscoward · · Score: 5, Funny

    The scene: a smoky downtown office lit by one bare lightbulb. Mr D is sitting at his desk, studying his computer screen.

    "Damn", he says, and picks up the phone. "Get your ass in here!", he shouts, and puts the receiver down again.

    A sweaty figure stumbles into the room, sneezes, and puts his coke tin and bottle of JDs on the table. "Whazzup, boss?"

    "Our stock fell by two points. We need to sue someone. Who's left?"

    "Uh, I think we sued them all, boss. Uh, wait, how about Microsoft?"

    "MORON!! They're the nice gentlemen we met this morning!"

    "Sorry, boss, it's the coke, it's making me forget shit."

    "Look, we need a name, and we need it fast."

    "Boss, why not try Google?"

    "BRILLIANT!!! WE'LL SUE GOOGLE!!!"

    "Uh, I meant just try the search... oh, shit."

    "Get on the line to our hacks. This is going to be so big. We can ask for $699 per search result. Per web page. Per pagerank. Whatever, so long as we get into twelve figures."

    "OK, Boss, you're the boss..." (picks up JD, stumbles out)

    sniff... sniff... SNEEZE! ... silence

    --
    Ceci n'est pas une signature
  5. Googling for 'SCO' in the future by CatGrep · · Score: 5, Funny

    Let'em try it. Google has the power to 'erase' all memory of SCO from the internet...

    An imagined future google session:
    enter 'SCO', hit the 'I'm feeling lucky' button...

    1. Southern College of Optometry (SCO)

    2. Small Corporate Operation (SCO)

    3. SCOffer's anonymous

    4. Small Company the Offed itself (SCO)

    5. Stupid Company Operation (SCO)

    6. Some Company or Other (SCO)

  6. The Microsoft Angle ... by cpn2000 · · Score: 5, Funny
    Balmer (to Google): Google, we'd like to buy you
    Google: Well thanks, but we're not interested.
    Balmer: Think about it, there will be consequences!
    Google: Thought about it ... still no.

    Balmer (to SCO): Darl
    Darl (bowing): Yes Master
    Balmer: You know what to do, dont you?
    Darl (salivating): Yes Master ... Yes Yes Yes ..... fade

    ... and the saga continues ...

    --
    All you touch and all you see is all your life will ever be ... Dark side of the moon
    1. Re:The Microsoft Angle ... by NaugaHunter · · Score: 4, Funny

      You're not seriously suggesting that in the face of fighting Linux, SCO will eventually turn on MS and throw them into a reactor shaft, are you? If so, then wouldn't that make slashdot readers the Ewoks when we start celebrating?

      Whoa. Now I feel unclean. To make up, here's a nitpick - why didn't the Empire have guard rails anywhere? It's obviously a design choice - I don't think more then one contractor would try to tack in on latter to run up costs. Other than the one on the bridge where Luke lost his hand, I don't recall any.

      --
      R: That voice. Where have I heard that voice before? B: In about 365 other episodes. But I don't know who it is either.
  7. How it will unfold by QuasiCoLtd · · Score: 5, Funny

    Google Employee 1: Hey Tom, did you move my coffee cup?

    Google Employee 2: Geeze Mike... I didn't expect a sort of Spanish Inquisition...

    Darl McBride, David Boies, and Chris Sontag burst through the door

    Grand Inquisitor McBride: Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!


  8. Slashdot: by raehl · · Score: 4, Funny

    Speculation for Nerds. Stuff that could matter, maybe.

    --
    paintball
  9. Aluminium?! by TWX · · Score: 4, Funny

    "*moderates +5 aluminium hat*"

    That's Tin Foil you fool! Aluminium won't do any good against Alien Mind Control rays, Microsoft Mind Control Rays(tm), Government Mind Control Rays, or the like. You must use tin!

    --
    Do not look into laser with remaining eye.
    1. Re:Aluminium?! by aborchers · · Score: 5, Funny
      That's Tin Foil you fool! Aluminium won't do any good against Alien Mind Control rays,


      Hmmm. You know, I never thought of it before, but as tin foil has been replaced in the market by aluminum foil, there does seem to be a lot more people wandering around under the influence of Alien Mind Control rays.

      --
      Trouble making decisions? Just flip for it.
    2. Re:Aluminium?! by ryanvm · · Score: 4, Funny

      Shit, I've been using aluminum foil all this time. I must have looked like an idiot.

  10. Re:Ah, SCO is a flash in the pan. by Roofus · · Score: 5, Funny

    Give it a year or so, the SCO debacle will be over, and people will be back to having MS on the top of their hate lists.

    No doubt. SCO is like the Brittany Spears of music - comes out of Goddamn nowhere, blows up bigger than life itself, and then fades into oblivion almost as quickly. All that's left in the end is a smoking crater of fake tits.

    MS, on the other hand, has real skill. They're like Michael Bolton - who will outlast every one of us!

  11. How long.... by mr_z_beeblebrox · · Score: 4, Funny

    Before I can go to google and type the words "Kiss my ass", click the "I'm feeling lucky" button and arrive at the Sco home page?

  12. SCO mug shot! by Camel+Pilot · · Score: 4, Funny

    Found this creative little mug shot by Lee Brian. Sometimes a picture is worth a thousand words

  13. Re:Better than... by dipipanone · · Score: 4, Funny

    At least Slashdot and Linux World gave them the idea to do it now.

    Oh, absolutely. There's no way that SCO's lawyers would have ever thought of doing that by themselves.

    Just as all of the most insightful financial analysts come to Slashdot for their investment advice ("Short SCO now!"), so the most expensive lawyers come here to identify a strategy for their multi-million dollar cases.

    And doesn't it give you a warm glow to think that all these expensive experts are out there, clinging to your every word, no matter how idiotic or banal?

    Hey, perhaps if we tell SCO to stop the lawsuits, they'll do that as well

    (OK, OK. I know sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, but *somebody* modded this insightful. That's a hell of a lot lower...)

  14. Or better yet by gearheadsmp · · Score: 4, Funny

    Or better yet, while Darl's smoking his crack pipe and hallucinating, whisper into his ear that suing the Church of Scientology would be a an open-and-shut legal case.