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Finding the Perfect Family Game

kowalski1971 writes "Some poor soul with far too much time on his hands has decided - in an attempt to increase sales at his toyshop - to calculate the formula for the perfect family game. Apparently it is, 0.22a + 0.17f + 0.153n + (0.12c - 0.1g) + 0.1s + 0.09e + 0.06d + 0.054l + 0.05m + 0.011c = pfg ...and which game came out top? Cards. So much for the increased sales then."

16 of 201 comments (clear)

  1. Re:Aces! by chimpo13 · · Score: 5, Funny

    I'm pretty sure it's Vice City and Carmegeddon. It's nice watching my 5 year old kill cops with his grandfather.

  2. BCS by JeffSh · · Score: 5, Funny

    Thankfully, his calculations are much LESS complicated than the formulae used to compute the bowl championship series rankings.

    Oddly enough, they are also more accurate, and I would be willing to bet that his formula could easily be converted over verbatim, applied to college football, and STILL come out with a better ranking system for college teams than the BCS.

  3. Cards? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Given that his factors include:

    N = number of people
    S = stimulation
    E = engagement
    D = duration
    L = longevity

    I think we may at last have found the source of all those dastardly penis enlargement spams and viagra...

  4. Which game? by bersl2 · · Score: 4, Funny

    which card game are they talking about?

    Clearly, strip poker.

    1. Re:Which game? by Senjutsu · · Score: 5, Funny

      No, the formula for Strip Poker is 0.50T, 0.50A.

  5. Since 2 Simpsons games were mentioned... by da3dAlus · · Score: 4, Funny

    Marge: Why don't you kids play one of your old board games? When was the last time you played "Citizenship"?
    Bart: [looking through games] "Energy Shortage"?
    Lisa: "Hippo in the House"?
    Marge: Ooh, "The Game of Lent"!
    Bart: Ohh, can't we just go to bed?
    Marge: It's only five-thirty.
    Lisa: Fine, we'll play "Hippo in the House".
    Marge: Oh, the hippo's missing.

    Ep: Wild Barts Can't Be Broken

    --

    Sometimes I doubt your commitment to Sparkle Motion.
  6. Sigh. When will we learn? by JonKatzIsAnIdiot · · Score: 5, Funny

    Human factors cannot be reduced to mathematical equations.

    (Sit down Hari Seldon)

    Attempting to do so only results in making you look stupid (like this guy)

    1. Re: Sigh. When will we learn? by Black+Parrot · · Score: 4, Funny


      > Heh. I tried to read the Foundation series, but unfortunately I'd already read enough about Lorenz and Mandelbrot to know that little errors don't just go away if you pick a bigger sample, and subsequently couldn't ignore the major flaw that is "psychohistory" and enjoy the books*.

      Heh, my calculations showed you were going to post that.

      --
      Sheesh, evil *and* a jerk. -- Jade
  7. If you do it just right... by inode_buddha · · Score: 5, Funny

    a good game of "Twister" will enable you to start your *own* family!

    --
    C|N>K
  8. The only reason "Cards" won... by Rune+Berge · · Score: 5, Funny

    ... is because they forgot the ever popular "Cardboard and plastic pieces" game.

  9. Simpler formula by Pedrito · · Score: 4, Funny

    Actually, the correct formula for the perfect game is:

    1 Swedish Bikini Team, sans bikinis + Me = The Perfect Game.

  10. mathematicians! Bah! by fermion · · Score: 5, Funny
    Math is wonderful. You can basically create formulas that may or may not have any basis in reality. This is why in addition to mathematician we have experimental physicists who whack the mathematician on the snout, take their formulations, and subject the equations to a rigorous dose of reality. Clearly someone needs to whack this guy on the snout.

    Cards and monopoly are great. The have no noise making annoyances, involve lots of manipulative that occupy the child, and rounds proceed quickly while occupying all players attention. More importantly, these games do minimum damage when the playing pieces enter the inevitable tantrum driven projectile phase.

    But Bop It? It is noisy, and hurts like hell when used as a club. Jenga? The point is to frustrate your opponents. This game is great at developing necessary skills, but when the pieces fall, the loser has a great desire to test the aerodynamics of the blocks.

    --
    "She's a scientist and a lesbian. She's not going to let it slide." Orphan Black
    1. Re:mathematicians! Bah! by schon · · Score: 4, Funny

      Math is wonderful. You can basically create formulas that may or may not have any basis in reality. This is why in addition to in addition to mathematician we have experimental physicists who whack the mathematician on the snout

      Reminds me...

      A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer were all taken to a farm and asked to build the best fence - the fence had to encompass the largest amount of area, with the smallest perimeter.

      The engineer said - "That's easy - you make a circle!"

      The physicist said - "No, you have the fence section encompass the diameter of the earth, that way you get more area because of the third dimension."

      The mathematician ran over to a pile of fence sections, picked up three small ones and arranged them around himself to create a tiny enclosure - then said "I am on the outside!"

  11. Clue by nizo · · Score: 4, Funny

    Clue has to be the best game, since it teaches you the best household objects you can use to kill people, as well as helping young children to realize that you should never ask the police for help when solving a murder.

  12. Precautionary note on side of box says... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    "For best results, do not begin game with original family"

    **Posted as AC to cleanse myself of that 'icky' feeling**

  13. Cards are great! by crazyhorse44 · · Score: 5, Funny

    Sure beats the old-time family classic... "come sit on grandpa's lap"!

    --
    . SLASHDOT: Home of the vicious nerd.