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North Korea Introduces 'Secure' E-mail
An anonymous reader sent in a strange little story running over at ZD that discusses North Korea's new secure email system. There's a lot of strange bits in there about trained North Korean hackers, and the fact that North Korea's news agency is hosted in Japan.
Again, they're just proving that the best security method is just to not let anyone on the system at all.
Of course they can guarantee complete privacy: after the security forces pick up the sender and the recipient and disappear them forever, no one will ever know what was written in the email.
If this is North Korea's attempt to get off my black list, it's a failure.
:)
Is that where the Iraqi information minister ended up?
Anything is possible given time and money.
License2KimJongill: hello?
License2KimJongill: helloooo...
Bush43: SORRY CAN'T TALK RIGHT NOW
Bush43: GOT COLON POWELL ON THE PHONE
License2KimJongill: i'm pretty sure it's spelled colin
Bush43: WELL I'M PRETTY SURE YOUR NAME IS SPELLED KIM JUNGLE
License2KimJongill: shut up
Bush43: YOU SHUT UP
License2KimJongill: no you shut up
Bush43: MAKE ME
License2KimJongill: make me make you
Bush43: WHAT?
License2KimJongill: i have to go too, I have colin powell on the phone too. You're talking to "colon" powell so I bet you have the wrong guy
Bush43: SHUT UP
License2KimJongill: you shut up
Shamelessly stolen from the Kim Jong Il livejournal
Great Leader Kim Yong Il is computer-savvy. Check out the Frontpage-For-Dummies official site of the DPRK.
I would be embarrassed to put pictures of my CAT on a website that lame.
"If you think you have things under control, you're not going fast enough." --Mario Andretti
So, while the population is starving due to castrophic economic policies, corrupt leadership and an idiotic foreign policy, they will no longer have to play games with the rest of the world, trading nuclear weapons for food.
I'd love to have a look at what pops up in their mail logs:
From: Dear Leader (Kim.Jong-Il@securemail.gov.kp)
To: president@whitehouse.gov (George)
CC: vice-president@whitehouse.gov (Dick)
Date: Dec. 2, 2003 18:50
Subject: North Korea Secure Email!!!11
------------
Dear Capitalist stooge George:
Invincible North Korean Peoples' Electronic Industry allow secure email discourse with running-dog American lackey. Welcome to glorious socialist revolution communication network! Great Korean Peoples' Hacker Team crush you Network like grape. All you base are belong to us! Hahahaha!
Love,
-Dear Leader
From: Dear Leader (Kim.Jong-Il@securemail.gov.kp)
To: orders@pizzahut.com
Date: Dec. 2, 2003 18:53
Subject: our order
------------
We take 50,000,000 super-size meat-lover special. Hold anchovy. Deliver President Palace, Pyongyang, Illustrious Democratic Peoples Republic North Korea.
Regard,
-Dear Leader
PS: Send Britney.
From: Dear Leader (Kim.Jong-Il@securemail.gov.kp)
To: tracy1827@hotmail.com (Peter Green Kabila
Date: Dec. 2, 2003 18:58
Subject: Re: YOUR STRICT CONFIDENCE REQUESTE
------------
Dear Mr. Kabila
Great Democratic People Republic of North Korea very interest in confidential transact. Please send more info.
Regard,
-Dear Leader
From: Dear Leader (Kim.Jong-Il@securemail.gov.kp)
To: president@whitehouse.gov
Date: Dec. 2, 2003 19:05
Subject: You Warheads
------------
Dear Ali,
Yuo nuklear weapon warhead ready. Freighter leave for Pakistan tomorrow. Please expediting payment expeditiously.
Cheers,
-Dear Leader
^D^C^C^C cancel
To: ali@alqaida.org
SHIT WRONG ADDRESSING
Cole's Law: Thinly sliced cabbage
Today the details of a new mail system claimed as "Absolutely Secure" have been posted on Leader Kim Jong II weblog available at the same server where the new mail system is being implemented.
An undisclosed person who likes himself to be called JK2 reported that "today i read my...err his weblog, and i got the details nobody knows about the new system"
Analysts said the new method is "Brillant" to bring email access to ppl while keeping comunications secure.
The system, concived by Kim Jong II himself consists in his own computer acting as a server, umplugged from any network or communications device. The gracefull leader himself will answer phonecalls from the population and transcribe the messages for them, absolutely free of charge.
The message is then keept in JK II "secure server" waiting for the recipient of the message to call using the toll free number and again, Kim Jong II himself will read the message for them.
The system is absolutely safe from net crackers and identity stealing since only Kim Jong II family have access to telephone services.
As stated by our misterious "JK2" source, many "free world" leaders have expressed interest in the new system including Chinese and Cuban leaders.
By yesterday, a very powerfull american software industry leader was analyzing in a emergency meeting held at company headquearters located in Redmond, the possibility to claim a patent on this great mail system while spokesman of a company who wanted to stay anonymous said that system is sure to use portions of intelectual property that belong to them, and they are analyzing charging Kim Jong II family a $600 license to use the system.