Funny Things You've Seen on Resumes?

noackjr asks: "Everyone wants a great job, but writing a quality resume requires creativity and a fair bit of work (we won't go into actually having the proper skills, qualifications, or experiences -- let's not cloud the issue). Alternatively, sprucing up your resume with a few choice pieces of quasi-truth might set you apart from other 'qualified' candidates (the HR person will never figure it out, right?). A friend from college included knowledge of 'C, C+, and C++' on his resume. He had worked in C and C++ and just figured there had to be a C+ as well (too bad he didn't list C+-). He ended up getting a $50,000+/yr job with a major US tech firm using that resume. Anyone else come across funny/pathetic attempts to improve a resume?"

Comments

Programming languages

[GuyMannDude]

I grow weary of seeing lots of young 20-something applicants fresh out of school who claim they have excellent coding skills and then proceed to list about ten different languages including HTML. First, HTML is not a programming language. Secondly, it takes years to learn how to program WELL in a complex language like C++. You may know the basic syntax for ten different languages, but that doesn't mean you're an expert programmer in all. And I'd argue that if you think listing tons of languages makes you look impressive, I would argue you're not much of a programmer at all (unless you've been working for decades).

Another applicant wrote in his cover letter than his goal was to get a Nobel prize. We are a defense contractor. They don't give out Nobel prizes for "Most Novel New Method to Kill People". Besides, this guy had a GPA of less than 3.5. Better get cracking if you want that Nobel prize, pal.

GMD

Re:Programming languages

[rot26]

First, HTML is not a programming language

No, but it's a meta-language, and they usually don't include a space to include the meta-languages you are proficient in. It's easier (arguably safer) to just throw "HTML" in with C, C++, etc, and take a chance on having a nit-picker down you for it, rather than take the chance of it being a keyword some HR drone is looking for and not finding.

Re:Programming languages

[Johnny Mnemonic]

Free hint: they list all the languages that they have heard about, because recruiters search keywords on the web-based job boards. The goal of a resume is not to prove your skills--the goal of a resume is to get to talk to a recruiter. The interview (or three) is the place to demonstrate your skills.

Anybody who keeps to a strictly modest resume simply hasn''t looked for work in the last three years--getting the recruiter to recognize that you're actually an ideal candidate for a position that they know nothing about is more than half the battle.

Re:Programming languages

[Tom7]

You may know the basic syntax for ten different languages, but that doesn't mean you're an expert programmer in all.

On the other hand, if you have a good general education in programming with a lot of hacking experience in a few languages, then you sure won't find it very difficult to pick up C#, even if you only have passing familiarity with its syntax.

Re:Programming languages

[foonf]

They don't give out Nobel prizes for "Most Novel New Method to Kill People"

You do know how Alfred Nobel made his fortune, right?

Re:Programming languages

[cperciva]

Secondly, it takes years to learn how to program WELL in a complex language like C++.

No. It takes years to learn how to program well. Once you know how to program well, picking up a new language shouldn't take more than a few weeks, except in the most baroque cases (INTERCAL, BrainF***, etc).

Re:Time travel...

[Gudlyf]

What's dumber than having that on your resume is having a job posting asking for that! Too many times I've seen it happen.

Hmmm, then again maybe they're onto something in weeding out those who would lie on their resume to get the job.