Slashdot Mirror
U.S. Agencies Earn "D" For Computer Security
Fighting.Cephalopod writes "For the fourth year in a row, most federal agencies have received low grades for failing to protect their computer networks from hackers and other cyberterrorists, according to a computer security report card issued today by the House Government Reform Subcommittee on Technology."
Other readers point out coverage of the report at ZDnet, Reuters (via Forbes), The Washington Post, and ComputerWorld." As
mr. don't points out, the agencies receiving an actual failing grade are "the U.S. Department of Justice, as well as the departments of Energy, Health and Human Services, Interior, Agriculture, Housing and Urban Development, and State."
They're not saying, however they've issued a guava alert.
"Have you ever thought about just turning off the TV, sitting down with your kids, and hitting them?"
Well that's before the curve. We're probably looking at a B- if the professor isn't a dick.
*notices how Canada doesn't announce that kind of thing, I think they're embarassed at how badly they do*
WTF are you talking about. That has to be the sixth least coherent resemblance of a sentence structure which has sullied the pages of Slashdot to date.
Kudos to you sir! Despite all efforts to the contrary, you managed to avoid any form of education or higher learning.
Looks like they need to bring in some university professors as consultants on grade inflation.
There's a centre built for it, somewhere in Cuba.
Like any organization, they've outlined a strategic plan to assess the situation and assigned a mission-critical task force to consolidate committees and subcommittees on bleeding-edge decision making processes. They've empowered the new paradigm, they're looking down the road, and keeping their feet out of the mud.
Yeah, they're right on top of it.
Slight correction on NASA's score - that's in metric, should actually be 92.4.
I really hate signatures, but go to my website.
This report card was supposed to be classified.
"If you think you have things under control, you're not going fast enough." --Mario Andretti
A bunch of idiots battling the bureaucracy and losing, I assume.
-Yarn - Rio Karma: Excellent
4) hacked into the place that determines if there is war or not
Phew!!! One shudders to think what would have happened if Saddam Hussein had known this back in March, "Operation Canadian freedom" ????
Only to idiots, are orders laws.
-- Henning von Tresckow
The problem has been traced to kindergarten hackers and has been fixed. Please disregard the following terror-alert color codes:
Brick Red
Flesh
Lemon Yellow
Prussian Blue
Spring Green
Sincerely,
Homeland Security
Are you sure it isn't a maroon alert?
"If anyone needs me, I'm in the angry dome."
Yes, this is truly pathetic. But honestly, folks... how many people are surprised by it? The U.S. government has something of a history of neglect when it comes to technology, as several have pointed out. After all, it's a sad day when major government systems can be compromised by worms of any sort. It simply shouldn't happen. Period. And yet it has. And then, there are the constant sad stories coming out of the U.S.P.O., where people are patenting things that are blatantly not their own.
So, here's what we need: A government office that is responsible for the electronic welfare of the country. Not merely a minor department in some other place, but a significant entity of its own. It would be able to stop all these government technological blunders before they happen, being comprised of tech-savvy individuals. Or at least, it would have some people who specialized in the field. Yes, it may sound Orwellian, but it wouldn't be much more so than what we have now: Now, several government agencies work completely apart from one another to regulate electronics, and each government department is responsible for its own security. This would simply take this task out of the hands of the overworked and unknowledgable, and might actually boost those grades.
I will sleep much better knowing that I will have power (NRC), People permoting Science (NSF), and Social Security which I will pay into all my life and not get my money's worth (SSA).
., and what? The EPA looses track of who polluted what maybe?
Who needs the Department of Agriculture anyway? It's not like crops will stop growing if the compuers are hacked, right?
As for the DOD getting a D, well it already has two D's so how much could a third D hurt?
The EPA got a C. So what if they are hacked. It's not like all of a sudden I can't see the mountains in California, I can't see them now anyway. What's the worst that could happen? Someone hacks the EPA, screws up the computers and. .
**cough never underestimate the human potential to create chaos cough**
Losing faith in humanity one person at a time.
In other news: President Bush announced today that as part of his "No Government Agency Left Behind" plan, any agency that could not show marked improvement in performance within 16 weeks would be grounded, have its allowance withheld, and would not be allowed to go to Prom. In related developments, the NRC and NSF would like their lunch money back.
It's written in Canadian, that's why you don't understand it. Let me translate it for you to American:
"Y'all notice that them dumbass Canadian hicks don't announce that ass stuff, huh! That's cause their ass is too embarassed at harboring terrorists, huh! God bless America, and may our children's ass be protected from the evil sight of women's nipples. Yo yo yo!"
Survey Questions
(1) Name of your government agency:
(2) Number of computers installed:
(3)Do any of your computers run Windows and/or other software from Microsoft?
Scoring: Use the following chart to score your agency's computer security:
Do NOT use Microsoft products: A.
Use Microsoft products: F.
Thank you for taking the time to fill out this survey.