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25,000-Ton Amphibious Spam Relay

Posted by timothy on from the all-access dept.

hormiga writes "The amphibious transport dock ship San Antonio incorporates the latest quality of life standards for the embarked Marines and sailors, including the sit-up berth, ship services mall, a fitness center and learning resource center/electronic classroom and Unsolicited Bulk E-Mail. Now the Chinese can relay their spam through U.S. military naval vessels." Well, Chinese spammers, anyhow.

26 of 323 comments (clear)

  1. That's an act of WAR! by Thud457 · · Score: 5, Funny

    I hope http://www.news.navy.mil has a sense of humor about the dreaded /. DDOS attack that they're under!!! /lamer

    --

    the preceding comment is my own and in no way reflects the opinion of the Joint Chiefs of Staff

    1. Re:That's an act of WAR! by swordboy · · Score: 4, Funny

      Those damn Chinese Sons of Bitches!

      --

      Life is the leading cause of death in America.
  2. am I the only one... by bluenova · · Score: 5, Funny

    who pictured a giant, floating, can of Hormel's spicy meat concoction, peeling back it's top to release aircraft and attack vehicles? My GI Joe collection never had one of those...

  3. Amphibious Spam Relay? by Kirk+Troll · · Score: 4, Funny

    SOYLENT SPAM IS FROGS!!!

  4. Wrong move. by Dark+Lord+Seth · · Score: 4, Funny

    2000 gung-ho, pissed of marines with landing craft, naval support and air support vs pasty chinese spammer with goverment welfare support.

    --
    Hate me!
    1. Re:Wrong move. by Uma+Thurman · · Score: 4, Funny

      Another wrong move: Marines hate it when their ship gets slashdotted.

      --
      This is America, damnit. Speak Spanish!
    2. Re:Wrong move. by dasmegabyte · · Score: 4, Funny

      pasty chinese spammer with goverment welfare support

      Who knows kung fu.

      I mean, if we're gonna pull out racist stereotypes, let's pull them all out, huh?

      --
      Hey freaks: now you're ju
  5. Yeesh... by TopShelf · · Score: 3, Funny

    Obviously, instead of sealing of ports, some poor yoeman went and sealed portholes...

    yuk yuk yuk

    --
    Stop by my site where I write about ERP systems & more
  6. "Red" Chinese? by GnrlFajita · · Score: 5, Funny
    Come on, now, keep up with the times. This spammer seems a little to capitalistic to describe as a "red."

    Somebody's watched to many Cold-War-era action movies.

    --
    When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.
    Mark Twain
  7. Part of the plan? by Elyjah · · Score: 5, Funny

    Perhaps the spamming facilities on the ship are part of a US initiative to disable enemy email infrastructure?

    1. Re:Part of the plan? by spicedhamhawg · · Score: 3, Funny

      I doubt it. All they'd have to do to disable enemy email infrastructure is give them free copies of MS Exchange.

  8. This is a good thing! by Guano_Jim · · Score: 5, Funny

    In the event of Taiwan's declaring independence from the mainland, we can instantly flood Beijing with ads for penis enlargement!

    That will slow down the PRC armies long enough for us to convince them that they don't really need Tawian and should focus on switching over to an economy based on turkey guts.

    Evangelizing turkey guts since mid-2003.

    --
    3D Printing Tips and Tricks at Zheng3.com
  9. At least .mil servers are good at relaying spam... by jamonterrell · · Score: 5, Funny

    ...because they certainly aren't relaying webpages very good at the moment.

    Someone want to post the article?

    --
    I can count to 1023 on my hands. Ask me about #132.
  10. MAKE IT BIGGER 39586-184=50 by trentblase · · Score: 5, Funny

    It's true, women prefer men with LARGE GOVERNMENTS. Communism can help you regrow hair, and in communist societies there's no reason to spam!

  11. Man your inboxes... by Hoi+Polloi · · Score: 4, Funny

    You'd end up with 2000 Marines busy churning through hundreds of penis enlargement, bigger boobs, refinancing, debt-free, horny teens, etc ads. I expect they'd resent the penis enlargement ads the most.

    Sure they wouldn't attack Nigeria though? After all, they'd want to collect on those millions they were promised by Mr Sebeko, cousin of the ex-Finance Minister.

    --
    It is by the juice of the coffee bean that thoughts acquire speed, the teeth acquire stains. The stains become a warning
    1. Re:Man your inboxes... by mpe · · Score: 4, Funny

      You'd end up with 2000 Marines busy churning through hundreds of penis enlargement, bigger boobs, refinancing, debt-free, horny teens, etc ads. I expect they'd resent the penis enlargement ads the most.

      Since there are spammers who spam about "anti-spam" tools does this mean arms dealers will be getting in on the act.
      "To cut down on yore SPAM you can now buy everything from torpedos to nuklear kruise missiles at a *BARGIN* price..."

  12. Re:Blacklisting the United States Navy? by trentblase · · Score: 5, Funny

    I have my spam filter set to bounce all Tomahawk missles. If one does happen to get through, abuse@navy.mil is going to be hearing from me.

  13. Re:San Antonio has NOT been compromised by RobertB-DC · · Score: 4, Funny

    I hate to destroy part of a good story.

    I think the proper terminology in this case would be, "I hate to torpedo part of a good story."

    Then again... maybe not.

    --
    Stressed? Me? Of course not. Stress is what a rubber band feels before it breaks, silly.
  14. Re:slashdotters in the military? by AKnightCowboy · · Score: 3, Funny
    It seems like they can't figure out the difference between a mail server and a firewall. If you can connect to the port it is not firewalled off, rather the mail server prevents you from using it.

    You sound like a typical "I installed ipchains on my Linux box so I am a firewall admin" n00b. Ever hear of proxy firewalls? Sheesh.

  15. Wasteful military spending by Uninvited+Guest · · Score: 4, Funny

    25,000 tons?! I'm sure I could build an unsolicated bulk email server that weighs less than 1 ton.
    ---Okay, so it wouldn't be amphibious.

    --
    Sometimes I worry that I'll develop Alzheimer's disease, but no one will notice.
  16. I do not like it, Sam I Am... by GeoGreg · · Score: 5, Funny
    I do not like unsolicited Spam!

    I do not like it from a boat

    I do not like it from a goat

    I don't need a huge torpedo

    I don't need help with my libido

    I do not like it from Chinese

    I do not like it, stop it, please!

    I do not like unsolicited Spam,

    So please REMOVE ME Sam I Am!

  17. Re:slashdotters in the military? by schon · · Score: 3, Funny

    have I got a deal on a bridge for you!

    Bridges are passe - tell him it's a router :o)

  18. Re:They have a sense of humor by Ianoo · · Score: 4, Funny

    ISS? Their sites are based on the space station now?! I had heard it was running the mythical WinNT4 SP6...

  19. Re:Blacklisting the United States Navy? by srmalloy · · Score: 4, Funny
    I have my spam filter set to bounce all Tomahawk missles. If one does happen to get through, abuse@navy.mil is going to be hearing from me.

    The Tomahawk's warhead does make for (if you will pardon the clicheed phrase) the 'mother of all DOS attacks', though...
  20. DON'T LET THE ARMY OR AIRFORCE FIND OUT!!! by wizkid · · Score: 3, Funny


    They'll want bigger faster spam relays!! :)

    --
    I take no responsibility for what I say. Even though I'm never wrong :)
  21. Re:Amphibious Spam Relay? Nor really by ckaminski · · Score: 5, Funny

    Better be careful... this is one access point that can fight back...