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Microsoft Sends Linux Survey
GnrlFajita writes "According to Newsforge, Microsoft is sending Linux users a survey asking why they use Linux, and what can be done to make Windows better. The article suggests taking the survey (or surveys, one for business users and one for home users), then sharing your answers with others in the community." Newsforge and Slashdot are both part of OSDN.
...and what can be done to make Windows better.
Mr. Gates taking a long walk off a short pier?
--
That would make Windows better for customers.
Oh, you wanted to know how to make it better for MICROSOFT.
I use linux because..
[ ] I am a communist
[ ] I am a terrorist
[ ] All of the above
Come on now, be serious. We were thinking along the lines of a new Office Assistant(tm)? How about a nice talking fish?
-BillG
We also worship caffiene and you have done bad things to Java.
"Learning is not compulsory... neither is survival."
--Dr.W.Edwards Deming
4) Why do you use Linux? (check all that apply)
( ) It's not Windows
( ) It's not Windows-like
( ) It's not a Microsoft product
( ) It doesn't crush innovation with its monopoly
( ) It doesn't need a security patch every 15 minutes
5) How can Windows be better? (check all that apply)
( ) By being Linux
( ) By being Linux-like
( ) By not being a Microsoft product
( ) By not crushing innovation with its monopoly
( ) By not needing a security patch every 15 minutes
--Rick "If it isn't broken, take it apart and find out why."
Dear Rebel Alliance
Why don't you like me anymore?
Love
Palpatine
Why is "Don't want to help hegemonic evil spread across the face of the Earth" not one of the options?
They didn't want their site to get /.ed!
When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.
Mark Twain
They already monitor the BSD email lists and know what all 25 of you think. :)
- Robin
(ducks and covers)
A. More evil
B. Less evil
C. Microsoft is just the right amount of evil right now.
Question 2: Concerning how much the next version of Windows should steal from Macintosh OS 10.3, Windows should:
A. Steal more from Apple
B. Steal a lot more from Apple
C. Still every single element of OS 10.3
D. The current crappy, half-assed ripoff of OS X is currently sufficient for all my computing needs.
Question 3: Next year, how many Windows-specific viruses would you like to receive in e-mail:
A. The same amount as now
B. More
C. A whole lot more
D. I have a Windows box still sending out copies of SoBig at this very moment.
Question 4: How large would you like the next Windows security hole to be?
A. Large enough to accommodate a small dog.
B. Large enough to drive an SUV through.
C. Large enough to drive a Mack truck through.
D. You know that huge crawler thing NASA uses to take the space shuttle out to the pad? Yeah, that big.
Question 5: C'mon, be serious. How much for your soul?
A. Already sold mine.
B. An Xbox with the complete library of available games.
C. 10000 shares of Microsoft stock.
D. Natalie Portman
E. CowboyNeal
Lawrence Person (lawrencepersonh@gmailh.com (remove all "h"s to mail)
http://www.lawrenceperson.com/
I answered the survey...with random answers that didn't reflect reality
NNNOOOOOOOO!!!
That's how they designed Windows in the first place!!!
Pavlov wouldn't be so famous if he'd used a can opener instead of a bell.
Naw, if Bill Gates really is interesting in trying to woo Linux users, he'll give 'em a talking Penguin.
Now, if Bill were to knock on my front door, and was willing to actually talk about it ...
But you *know* what the chances of that are...
Um, you are indeed right, the chances are pretty low. Go figure.
I mean, if Santa can visit EVERY SINGLE HOUSE ON THE PLANET in one night, delivering presents to each child in the world, you'd think the richest man in the world would be able to figure out how to personally speak with each Linux user. Geez....
I prefer the professor.
Bill Gates would also be an idea, if they implemented an agression-relief feature in the Office Assistant, like weapons etc.
where's all that Karma?
How about a nice talking fish?
How about a nice talking penguin with duck feet? That must be what Linux users want....
The survey crashed my latest version of Internet Explorer.
Question 1: Do you think Microsoft should be:
A. More evil
B. Less evil
C. Microsoft is just the right amount of evil right now.
Question 2: Concerning how much the next version of Windows should steal from Macintosh OS 10.3, Windows should:
A. Steal more from Apple
B. Steal a lot more from Apple
C. Still every single element of OS 10.3
D. The current crappy, half-assed ripoff of OS X is currently sufficient for all my computing needs.
Question 3: Next year, how many Windows-specific viruses would you like to receive in e-mail:
A. The same amount as now
B. More
C. A whole lot more
D. I have a Windows box still sending out copies of SoBig at this very moment.
Question 4: How large would you like the next Windows security hole to be?
A. Large enough to accommodate a small dog.
B. Large enough to drive an SUV through.
C. Large enough to drive a Mack truck through.
D. You know that huge crawler thing NASA uses to take the space shuttle out to the pad? Yeah, that big.
Question 5: C'mon, be serious. How much for your soul?
A. Already sold mine.
B. An Xbox with the complete library of available games.
C. 10000 shares of Microsoft stock.
D. Natalie Portman
E. CowboyNeal
Only on Slashdot could you find someone who says, "Frankly, my comments about both Windows and Linux are professional opinions. People pay me for those," followed by a bulleted list of exactly the things Microsoft had asked for. For free.
I always thought that a nice frankenstein's monster assistant would be perfect. Totally unhelpful answers like "errrrrrrrrrr!" or "grrrrrrrrrrrrr", but if you say "grr" it says "that was very thoughtful.
I know a grunting monster isn't exactly helpful, but would make me feel better to have something else grring at microsoft office when it doesn't do what I want. After all, the office assistant was never too terribly helpful.
There is no sanctuary. There is no sanctuary. SHUT UP! There is no shut up. There is no shut up.
Ummm.... I hate to tell you this, but Bill Gates doesn't exist.
a world in progress...
The purpose of the survey, at least the one for corporate users is not to get results, but to convince people that it's more reasonable to use Windows.
Just look at this question:
8. What organizations would you recommend use Linux?
Organizations that have good IT help
Organizations that want to send a message to the greedy computer industry
Only organizations that have a lot of patience
Organizations that don't mind doing things on their own
Organizations that only have limited computing needs
45 5F E1 04 22 CA 29 C4 93 3F 95 05 2B 79 2A B2
I always thought it would be neat to write something that would add a "Fuck you!" button or something similar - clicking on it would be the same as clicking on the "ok" button, but at least the user would feel better.