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Depenguinator "Upgrades" Linux to BSD

Posted by CmdrTaco on from the now-thats-just-creapy dept.

cperciva writes "Many systems around the world have been possessed by penguins and dead rats. It would be nice to exorcize these evil spirits, but this can be difficult without physical access to the machines in question. Thanks to a new depenguinator, it is now possible to upgrade Linux systems to run FreeBSD 5.x without requiring anything more than an SSH connection." Clever idea.

24 of 616 comments (clear)

  1. You have been rooted, welcome to BSD by diersing · · Score: 5, Funny
    I'm now scared.

    The next root kit is announced and within days all machines have been *upgraded* to BSD. Argh

    1. Re:You have been rooted, welcome to BSD by skaffen42 · · Score: 5, Funny

      I think we finally have proof that BSD is dead. I mean, this is the clearest attempt at daemonic possession I have ever seen.

      --
      People couldn't type. We realized: Death would eventually take care of this.
    2. Re:You have been rooted, welcome to BSD by EvilAlien · · Score: 3, Funny
      I'm really dissapointed that nobody got around to writing a Welchia variant that upgrades vulnerable Windows boxes to Linux. It would have been a business move to gain desktop market share that even Bill Gates would have applauded.

      Oh well, snooze ya lose.

      --
      perl -e 'print $i=pack(c5, (41*2), sqrt(7056), (unpack(c,H)-2), oct(115), 10)'
    3. Re:You have been rooted, welcome to BSD by KilobyteKnight · · Score: 3, Funny

      I'm really dissapointed that nobody got around to writing a Welchia variant that upgrades vulnerable Windows boxes to Linux

      People would be calling MS tech support in droves:

      "I knew something was different because I haven't seen that comforting blue screen in a long time."

      "I'm glad those ugly colors are gone now, but I can't find Freecell anymore"

      "The paperclip is gone and I don't know how to get it back"

      "When I try to run the email attachments it just doesn't work"

      --
      When will Windows be ready for the desktop?
  2. I'm gonna sit back at a safe distance by CompWerks · · Score: 5, Funny

    and watch this flame war. Marshmallows anyone?

    --
    If you can read this sig - the bitch fell off.
  3. Now all we need is.. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

    .. a worm to upgrade all windows boxes to linux remotely :D

    1. Re:Now all we need is.. by Mark+J+Tilford · · Score: 2, Funny

      What, don't you remember Tuxissa?

      --
      -----------
      100% pure freak
    2. Re:Now all we need is.. by skinfitz · · Score: 3, Funny

      March 29, 1999 What started out as a prank posting to comp.os.linux.advocacy yesterday has turned into one of the most significant viruses in computing history. The creator of the virus, who goes by the moniker "Anonymous Longhair", modified the well-known Melissa[1] virus to download and install Linux on infected machines. "It's a work of art," one Linux advocate told Humorix after he looked through the Tuxissa virus source code. "This virus goes well beyond the feeble troublemaking of Melissa." The advocate enumerated some of the tasks the virus performs in the background while the user is blissfully playing Solitaire: Once the virus is activated, it first works on propogating itself. It has a built-in email harvesting module that downloads all the pages referenced in the user's Internet Explorer bookmarks and scans them for email addresses. Using Outlook, the virus sends a copy of itself to every email address it comes across. After it has successfully reproduced, the virus begins the tricky process of upgrading the system to Linux. First, the virus modifies AUTOEXEC.BAT so that the virus will be re-activated if the system crashes or is shut down while the upgrade is in process. Second, the virus downloads a stripped-down Slackware distribution, using a lengthy list of mirror sites to prevent the virus from overloading any one server. Then the virus configures a UMSDOS filesystem to install Linux on. Since this filesystem resides on a FAT partition, there is no need to re-partition the hard drive, one of the few actions that the Word macro language doesn't allow. Next, the virus uncompresses the downloaded files into the new Linux filesystem. The virus then permanently deletes all copies of the Windows Registry, virtually preventing the user from booting into Windows without a re-install. After modifying the boot sector, the virus terminates its own life by rebooting the system. The computer boots into the Slackware setup program, which automatically finishes the installation of Linux. Finally, the dazed user is presented with the Linux login prompt and the text, "Welcome to Linux. You'll never want to use Windows again. Type 'root' to begin..." The whole process take about two hours, assuming the user has a decent Internet connection. Since the virus runs invisibly in the background, the user has no chance to stop it until it's too late. The email message that the virus is attached to has the subject "Important Message About Windows Security". The text of the body says, "I want to let you know about some security problems I've uncovered in Windows 95/98/NT, Office 95/97, and Outlook. It's critically important that you protect your system against these attacks. Visit these sites for more information..." The rest of the message contains 42 links to sites about Linux and free software. Slashdot is one of those links. "That could spell trouble," one Slashdot expert told Humorix. "Slashdot could fall victim to the new 'Macro Virus Effect' if this virus continues to propogate at its present exponential growth rate. Red Hat's portal site, another site present on the virus' links list, seems to be quite sluggish right now..." Details on how the virus started are a bit sketchy. The "Anonymous Longhair" who created it only posted it to Usenet as an early April Fool's gag, a demonstration of how easy it would be to mount a "Linux revolution". Some other Usenet reader is responsible for actually spreading the virus into the wild. One observer speculated, "I imagine the virus was first sent to the addresses of several well-known spammers. The virus probably latched on to the spammer's email lists and began propagating at a fantastic rate. With no boundary to its growth, this thing could wind up infecting every single Net-connected Wintel box in the world. Wouldn't that be a shame!" Linus Torvalds, who just left for a two week vacation, was unavailable for comment at press time. We have a strong feeling that his vacation will be cut short very soon...

  4. Re:Hmm... by sempf · · Score: 4, Funny

    Could be worse, we could be talking about a package to upgrade Linux to Windows 2003.

    --
    /usr/bin/grep -i -E meaning life.txt
  5. Flame war! by GeckoFood · · Score: 2, Funny

    Oooooh! Fire! Pretty!

    --
    Be excellent to each other. And... PARTY ON, DUDES!
  6. Wow... a Linux bashing article on SlashDot! by tommck · · Score: 4, Funny
    This is going to go over like a pregnant nun!

    --
    ---- It puts the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again. It does this whenever it's told.
    1. Re:Wow... a Linux bashing article on SlashDot! by Zathrus · · Score: 3, Funny

      a pregnant nun

      Which is another way to "depenguinate".

      Yes, I did just watch Blues Brothers a couple nights ago.

  7. Night Of The living Dead by fafaforza · · Score: 2, Funny


    The dead are going after the living!

  8. iptables -A INPUT -p tcp --syn --dport 22 -j DROP by JCCyC · · Score: 2, Funny

    PHTHBBBBBTTTTT!!!!!

  9. Depenguinate ?? by KoolDude · · Score: 2, Funny


    How do you moderate an entire article as flamebait?

    May be you can write a program to flamebaitrate the article. Nobody said only people who freebsduse can verbgenerate, rite ?

    --
    getSexySig(); /* returns sexy signature */
  10. Re:Hmm... by richie2000 · · Score: 3, Funny
    upgrade Linux to Windows 2003.

    You are upside-down - up has become down and down is up. Please turn yourself over.

    I myself have upgraded twice, first from Win2000 Server to Red Hat 8 and then to Gentoo.

    --
    Money for nothing, pix for free
  11. Dead Rat by lunenburg · · Score: 3, Funny

    Dead Rat? OMG! I get it! It's like you took "Red Hat" and changed some letters around, and now it's like insulting!

    That's what makes it funny!!!!111

  12. Dummy! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    Linux is viral (due the the GPL) you're the worm! ;)

  13. Forget depenguinator, I want reverse defenestrator by phr1 · · Score: 3, Funny

    Reverse defenestration, throwing windows out of your computer. Where do I download? (Props to Eric for definition).

  14. Re:Can we have the DeSCOinator now? by Valdrax · · Score: 4, Funny

    Well, it's not quite what you're looking for, but I have written a shell script to remove all offending SCO IP from Linux based on the evidence presented so far:

    #!/bin/sh

    I hope everyone finds this helpful.

    --
    If it's for-profit but free, you're not the customer -- you're the product (e.g., the Slashdot Beta's "audience").
  15. Re:Upgrade? Sheesh. by acidbass · · Score: 3, Funny

    The worst example I ever saw was on IRC; a jackass said "yeah, if you're stupid you should use Linux, but once you really understand UNIX you should use BSD".

    Hey! I said that!

  16. Re:I'll bite. (Sorry, can't resist) by tepples · · Score: 2, Funny

    The same people who just reinstalled Windows 98.

  17. Re:Windows - Freenix by LM741N · · Score: 2, Funny

    There is already software similar to this. Its called Cygwin.

  18. Ok, I give up. You win. by Qbertino · · Score: 3, Funny

    I actually thought I was being funny and expected to be moderated that way.
    But moderating me and especially that post 'Insightful' takes the cake. I give up.
    And thus hereby offically anounce: Credit for the biggest 'Funny' goes to Mr. '+1 Insightfull' modder. :-)

    --
    We suffer more in our imagination than in reality. - Seneca