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Alan Ralsky Gripes About Can Spam Act
fdiskne1 writes "The New York Times has an interview with Alan Ralsky, commonly known as the world's worst spammer. CNet News.com is running the same interview. Ralsky admits using open relays and virus-infected PCs and not honoring unsubscribe lists. He complains about having to comply with the new CAN-SPAM law will cost him an additional $3000 in costs to set up a genuine opt-out list. Anyone here feel sorry for him? Okay, I'm biased, but I can't wait until we see him in prison."
Well, ok maybe he doesn't deserve death. But he definitely deserves a very hefty fine and prison cell with Bubba.
Hmm, looks like we need to set up a open hunting season on spammers. Too bad they don't taste too good, never was fond of SPAM myself.
FuckTheFuckingFuckers.com - Post your th
Call some one who gives a shit Alan Ralsky.
"I bow to no man" - Riddick
I can't wait to see him wresting bread crusts from sea gulls in a K Mart parking lot. He's an excellent example of a selfish individual and capitalism at its worst.
A feeling of having made the same mistake before: Deja Foobar
Spammers are stupid
+
Ralsky is a pammer
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Ralsky is stupid
Ralsky is stupid
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Ralsky says "it would be stupid to violate" [the law]
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Ralsky will violate the law
But I'll bet you'd figured that out anyway.
"I may be synthetic, but I'm not stupid." -- Bishop 341-B
"He's an excellent example of a selfish individual and capitalism at its worst."
Sounds like the ideal candidate for President...
In the free world the media isn't government run; the government is media run.
From that description it sounds like he's a pretty damn good spammer. The world's worst spammer is probably some guy trying to send spam through his AOL account.
- New e-mail
- Paste address
- Paste body
- Send e-mail
- Dismiss popup ad
- New e-mail
- etc etc
- Profit!
No, I think ol' Alan is good at what he does. Of course that's like arguing who was the best serial killer...Hell yeah, I know Bill Brasky! He's a big fella, goes about 6'4", 280. He loves his Scotch!
The geek way to stop spam:
Step 1: Create a mod for a popular first person shooter game involving a list of prolific spammer and relistic weapons.
Step 2: Distribute said game to those "evil teenagers that plays too much video games and get influenced and shoot up their classmates".
Step 3: Wait for problem to take care of itself.
That way loosers who shoot their classmates and random people are *educated* to shoot the actual varmints of this society instead of random innocent people. And for the rest of us who can learn to differentiate a game from real life, it does sound like a fun game...
calling for the brutal anal rape of Ralsky is disgusting, uncivilized, pointless, and, frankly, disturbing.
... but justified...
Code, Hardware, stuff like that.
Wasn't CAN-SPAM meant to help spammers? I mean, it had loopholes large enough to fly a 747 through, for Christ's sakes.... so why is he complaining?
I think you missed his full name. It is Alan "Briar Rabbit" Ralsky.
"No, No, don't throw the CAN SPAM act at me. Oh, it hurts!"
I hope these two Romanian programmers take him for a ton of ca$h.
You cant be serious. You want this person jailed? While i admit spam is obnoxious, I wouldnt suggest it an offence to warrant incarceration.
You bet we want him in jail. Just wait until you see the size of the "Buy Alan Ralsky good lov'n" fund after he gets incarcerated.
Guaranteed! This comment 100% Anthrax free!
Mr. Ralsky is Ferengi and spam is dealt with under the Rules of Acquisition. When Ralsky receives the death penalty his remains will be sold...wait for it...in cans of spam
"Academicians are more likely to share each other's toothbrush than each other's nomenclature."
Cohen
Okay, I'm biased, but I can't wait until we see him in prison.
I'm also biased. I'd like to see him strung up by the balls and used as a pinata.
I guess that's why I'm not a Judge in a criminal court. Oh well. Might be fun though...
I'd rather be a conservative nutjob than a liberal with no nuts and no job.
... read "Anal Raslky ...?"
Alan Ralsky dies and re-incorporates in Hell. Startled, Ralsky asks "What am I doing here? I never killed or raped anybody." A bureaucratic looking demon in wireframe glasses sat him down at at a battered desk overflowing with paper and said "Look you're not here permanently. You just have to atone for your sins and you can go...well..to the other place."
"Oh! But what did I do?" asked Ralsky.
"You've sent a multitude of unwanted emails. You couldn't take no for an answer several billion times over. Look at this desk. Do you think that is all paperwork?" Ralsky pulled nervously at his collar as he noticed that some of the papers did indeed promise the demon a larger penis or fantastic real estate deals. "So what do I have to do?"
"Well", said the demon getting up from his chair and leading Ralsky out of the room. "You have clean up the spam." He led Ralsky to a vast warehouse stacked floor to ceiling with herbal viagra ads and other such 'valuable' offers. "How am I supposed to clean this up?!?!" fretted Ralsky.
The demon grinned maliciously as he wadded up a breast enlargement ad and said "Turn around and drop your pants."
But he *DOES* create jobs. This statement is correct. Look around and you'll see how many companies are developing anti-spam programs.
The same way as viruses writers create jobs at antiviruses companies.
The same way as wars create jobs, and it's a billionaire industry. Yes, at the expenses of human lifes, but what's some measly human lifes compared to gross money ?
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Roses are #FF0000, Violets are #0000FF, find / -name '*base*' |xargs chown -R us && mv zig greatjustice
Not to mention spin-offs in the rope, gun, tar and feather industries. Why, I received an email from a Chinese maker of horse-whips the other day that was very tempting.
One line blog. I hear that they're called Twitters now.
Reading this article on Alan Ralsky leads me to believe that he lives a "sheltered" life away from his victims. He has a criminal record and apparently has trouble recognizing right from wrong. What's worse, he doesn't see the logic behind the laws, filters and rights of others to keep spam from thier inboxes.
I think it would be great to have a well publicized and open debate between this spammer and one of his victims. Furthermore, it would be even more interesting to allow viewer call-ins and people in the audience to ask questions. To be fair we would also have to have a non-spammer who likes to receive spam on stage as a third opinion (that might be extremely difficult to obtain).
On second thought, it sounds like an episode of Jerry Springer...
*CRASH - the chair splinters into pieces as the victim hits Al Ralsky with it*
Seppuku: Your solution to my problems!
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Hardly.
I mean, some poor mass murderer is actually going to have to fuck Alan Ralsky!
Where's the justice in that? The guy's already serving life in prison for mass murder, shouldn't that be punishment enough?