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SCO Files Response To Demand For Evidence
The Welcome Rain writes "SCO has posted its notice of compliance with the court order of December 12, which required them to produce evidence. The document itself is brief, but refers to a sixty-page supplement which lists the offending lines, and asserts that it can find more when IBM produces some of the evidence demanded of them by SCO. Millions of lines on sixty pages? How silly."
IBM must be using really small fonts to make it hard for SCO to find evidence. It's always the fine print that gets people, though. ;)
So where's the 60 page PDF so we can get right on tearing it apart line by line and laughing?
My sig is blank, I typed this by hand.
"Ladies and Gentlemen of this supposed jury, SCO's accusers would certainly want you to believe my client doesn't own the rights to Unix, and they make a good case. Hell, I almost felt pity myself. But Ladies and Gentlemen of this supposed jury, I have one final thing I want you to consider.
Ladies and Gentlemen, this is Chewbacca. Chewbacca is a Wookiee from the planet Kashyyyk who carried a gun and ran from the mob. But Chewbacca lives on the planet Endor. Now think about it. That does not make sense. Why would a Wookiee, an eight-foot-tall Wookiee, want to live on Endor with a bunch of two-foot-tall Ewoks. That does not make sense.
But more important, you have to ask yourself what does this have to do with this case. Nothing. Ladies and Gentlemen, it has nothing to do with this case. It does not make sense. Look at me. I'm a lawyer defending a major Unix company and I'm talkin' about Chewbacca. Does that make sense? Ladies and Gentlemen I am not making any sense. None of this makes sense.
And so you have to remember when you're in that jury room deliberating and conjugating the Emancipation Proclamation, does it make sense? No. Ladies and Gentlemen of this supposed jury it does not make sense. If Chewbacca lives on Endor you must acquit.
I know SCO seems guilty. But ladies and gentlemen this is Chewbacca. Now think about that for one minute. That does not make sense. Why am I talking about Chewbacca when a company is on the line? Why? I'll tell you why. I don't know. It doesn't make sense. If Chewbacca does not make sense you must acquit. Here look at the monkey , look at the silly monkey.
The defense rests."
With a compression algorithm like that (millions of lines to 60+ pages)
...but since that compression ratio is impossible (except in Utah) SCO is pretty much done.
SCO's IP license would be worth $699
They use a Bullshit Compressor. Politicians have been using it for years. Thta's hwo you get 10 pounds of manure in a 5 pound bag.
jX [ Make everything as simple as possible, but no simpler. - Einstein ]
Their document is clearly integrating Adobe Acrobat technology into their software without permission. But don't tell them... wait for the damages to pile up first. It wouldn't be fair for Adobe to have to show any damages before they can claim copious ammounts of money.
Ryan Fenton
Millions of lines on sixty pages? How silly.
Yeah.
Well.
You know, you don't really even need 60 pages to say, "We ownz0r all of it. SCO > *. Pwnt."
Someone buy Darl a copy of the Linux 2.4 Poster with a little sticky note describing how microscopic sixty pages is compared to the rest of the kernel before he embarrases himself! Awe... too late. Well, guess it's time to start tracing the commits back to SCO employees... or dispute the contract between SCO and Novell... or let IBM spank them with patent infringement... Or... well... yeah I really wish I'd have shorted their stock at $20 right now...
I have something very relevant to say regarding SCO's Evidence... Its very detailed information... Okay here goes...
BLAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHH
MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH
MOOHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH
Ahem...
Because 50 does not exceed 60.
taken! (by Davidleeroth) Thanks Bingo Foo!
Each line of which is over 10,000 lines!
It means that the person filing the motion has confessed to their unsavory practice of hacking professionally. Sheesh, buy a legal dictionary.
It's most likely that it consists of 61-65 pages as more that 65 pages would probably be referred to as "Almost 70 pages". ;)
Ripping an new rectum in the fabric of spacetime.
Assuming you can fit 60 lines of code on a 8.5"x11" sheet with in a 10 point font, you can fit 3600 lines of code on 60 pages.
You can thus fit 3600x4=14,400 lines of code on 60 pages in a 5pt font.
In a 2.5pt font, you can fit 14,400x4 lines of code on 60 pages, or 57,600 lines.
1.25pt: 230,400
0.675pt: 921,600
So "more than 60 pages" is more than adequate.
What has *science* done?!? -- Dr. Weird (ATHF)
RTFM. You come on to this blatently pro Latin site, don't know shit about Latin and expect not to get modded down after posting such a crass newbie question? The big question is: will this baby run Latin? Or, imagine a forum of these. Or, in Ancient Rome the orgy finds you. etc...
I sure do hope that these litigious bastards will finally get the miserable end they deserve! Do you suppose the judge will scoff at this nonsense now?
Join Tor today!
How much of those 60 pages do you suppose look like this:
i++;
It means SCO has finally admitted that their lawyers are hacks, and that the lawsuit is really grounds to send in the Vice Squad to charge them with a con game.
If you haven't read the answers (probably b/c they're not publicly available), here's a sneak preview:
/usr/src/linux`. Don't ask us what those funny .h or .c files are, though.
/usr/src/linux -exec rm {}\;` becuase one of those big bad geeks out there told me it would automatically find anything I could use for evidence. But it seemed to work kinda like my paper shredder.
1) Well, since this is our first shot at this, how about `find
2) Darl McBride. I OWNZER SCO. I OWNZER LUNUX (however it's spelled). I OWNZER YOU!!! hahaha. Hmm, well, we're suing over this question, aren't we?
3) We're very concerned with keeping our private stuff private, so we shred all our documents. This includes financial documents. Whoops, my PR guy just said that that was a bad thing to say, kinda like shooting myself in the foot. But wait! I can't shoot myself in the foot, I need it to count to 13!
4) IBM, you suxor. You gave the code to those linux freaks! A date range would be 1990-2003. It's somewhere in there. We don't know any IBM people, so we can't give names. IBM people scare me, so we can't ask them anything. Sorry
5) All agreements? Your great-grandaddy's momma's fat thrid sister, twice removed, once gave my great-great-great-stepgrandmama's FIRST brother, once removed, some land. That counts, doesn't it? If that doesn't work, well, you gave us some money, so we can do whatever we want, right?
6) This is getting tough. The typing is slowing down, because I need both hands to count this high. But the origin of this code was ME, Mr. Darl McBride. Some Linus guy helped me a little too, but he's kinda insignificant. Copyrights and patents? Well, I put a little c with circle thing in my file, does that count?
7) IBM engaged in unfair competition? Just look at them. Their stuff sells more per day that our stuff ever has! Because we KNOW we've got the best stuff, it must be unfair. And don't pull this "life ain't fair" stuff anymore.
8-9 I dunno, I'm getting tired of this stuff.
10) Hmm, wait a minute. Let me get a local Utah area phone book. I need names, so let me get some fast. At least one of them is bound to be right, right? I'll also put down some names, like Linus Trovolwhat's his name, CmdrTaco (he runs a site of big bad nerds), and that growklaw chick too. They're mean people.
11) Hmm, tough one there. We've made lots of products, but telling you which ones have sold is a tough call. Our sales records were in those documents that were shredded, but I don't ever remember selling anything.
12) A11 of it is OWNZER, PWNED, and those other geek terms (I'm not quite sure how they are spelled, but geeks seem to be bad spellers. What has happened to our youth?) by us. I tried `find
13) Yes, you've infrindged my constitutional right to make a profit. Yes, you distributed it. And boy, my feet are getting cold. It's hard to count to 13 without taking a sock of, you know?
-Best wishes,
-Darl McBride
What, they have developers? I though the company was all lawyers now...
In Soviet Russia the insensitive clod is YOU!
circumlocution - The use of unnecessarily wordy and indirect language. Evasion in speech. Laywer talk.
An example of how to go about confusing a judge or jury while telling the truth in a circular way:
Lawyer for IBM: Did you or did you not place SCO's proprietary code into the Linux kernel for the very purpose of bringing these charges?
Lawyer for SCO: We have never been engaged in a state of non-development with the Linux kernel source code. We have never not distributed it, we have never not contributed code to it and we have most certainly never not used our contributions to bring false charges. Need I say more?
Too bad it's just your sig.
(And I thought I'd never get a chance to use the word "doppelganger" in casual conversation.)
find $d -type f -exec grep -i ' sco ' {} \; | tee /dev/tty | wc -l
If you couldn't file a lawsuit until you had an airtight case against the defendant, not many lawsuits would be filed.
And boy, wouldn't THAT be terrible.
Finkployd
Well now we know what SCO is up to. They are claiming copyright on all the space characters in Linux code! That's how they can fit it all in 60 pages.
Punctanym: alternate spelling of words using punctuation or numerals in place of some or all of its letters; see 'leet'
We're backstage, rappin' with the Tap! Guys, I'm gonna hit you with a phrase that's dogged you throughout your career: *Washed Up*. And yet here you are, one of the top one hundred and five concert acts today.
--
"Outlook not so good." That magic 8-ball knows everything! I'll ask about Exchange Server next.
Slashdot is hardly casual conversation with regards to SCO articles. Too much (making) fun with (of) legalese.
The World Wide Web is dying. Soon, we shall have only the Internet.
That reminds me of the time that someone posted the Oxford trolleybus poem to soc.culture.british. It is dogrel, half latin, half English, mostly in the bits where the author's latin gave out.
Of course someone asked the group for a translation. So I obliged and translated all the English bits into Latin for them.
Looking for an Information Security student project suggestion?
Try http://dotcrimeManifesto.com/
Except for large values of 50.
Just as I thought: I went there, clicked on their Intellectual Property link, and got:
Really.
Look at the bright side: there's always seppuku.
which is really what you need in order to deal with a big pile of SCO.
C: int i;
Translated: "We sumbit that there is an integer stoage of variable value designated the identifying symbol of 'i'. "
Yup, I can see how one or two C snippets could easily run 60 pages.
Engineering is the art of compromise.
Large font, one letter on page:
:)
ALL YOUR KERNEL ARE BELONG TO US.
They can make a nice poster with it
1. Veni
2. ???
3. Veci!
Last post!