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Matrix-Style Brain Interface Closer To Reality
atkulp writes "According to this Wired article, a private company, Cyberkinetics is seeking permission from the FDA to test a product called BrainGate that implants in the brain and can control actions on a computer. So far it works for monkeys and they'd like to see it as viable for quadriplegics and others in need. How soon until anyone can become the ultimate expansion card? Sign me up!"
I, for one, welcome our new robotic overlords.
If you can read this then I forgot to check "Post Anonymously"
Man I would apply for getting one myself, too. But I bet you the monkey would not! HATE! Why the fuck don't they test on humans? Do please imagine the work of those guys for the last couple of years:
Wake up at 6 o'clock. Breakfast. Bus. Office (lab? dachau? auschwitz?). Put on plastic clothes (so you don't seem a "fucking maxipad" when you leave home). Grab an axe. Grab a monkey. Hit. Repeat until head is open, brain exposed. Grab oscilloscope, variable power supply, function generator, Grab wires and nails, plug in randomly. Start electroshocks. Read output. Repeat twice. Wait. Hit with axe. Repeat. Error. Remove nails. If monkey breathing and heart pumping, pin nails randomly again. Repeat. Stop at 2PM. Make sandwiches with dead monkeys. Boss gets Roasted Brain Biff Sandwich....
Man can they sleep at night? How do they manage not to see monkeys everywhere? Maybe they are monkeys. Or else... FUCK'EM!
Ha ha! Children, point and laugh at the funny, trolling anonymous coward who knows nothing about Windows, much less how most people wind up having to run it! He's what we call a "technology have-not". He likely believes that Microsoft Windows is somehow technologically capable of putting up a fight against the traditional and modernized POSIX systems. He is a fool, and his blood will run in the streets during the next plague of Windows-only viruses and worms.
Or, in short. You're an idiot. Get a life. Stop trolling me.
Alito: A vote for Alito is a punch in the eye to put that bitch back in her place!
Those that modded this funny might want to consider that it appeared 12 minutes earlier here with the correct spelling of "Beowulf".
Patrick Doyle
I mod down every jackass who puts his moderation policy in his sig. Oh, wait a sec....