News from Mars

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Posted by CmdrTaco on Tuesday January 20, 2004 @04:15AM from the it-just-keeps-coming dept.

An anonymous reader writes "While the Beagle 2 may have been gobbled up by Mars--Eater of Spacecraft, the main part of the ESA's recent Mars mission is doing well. The Mars Express Orbiter has sent back some amazing pictures of The Grand Canyon of Mars (Valles Marineris). Yes, this is the same gigantic geological feature that was missed by Mariner 4, 6, and 7 but finally found by Mariner 9. In other news, the Spirit rover is getting ready to grind the rock Adirondack (picture)."

25 of 258 comments (clear)

Taking bets now by GonzoDave · 2004-01-20 04:16 · Score: 2, Funny

Every space mission gets a conspiracy theory. What's this one going to be?
1. Re:Taking bets now by Anonymous Coward · 2004-01-20 04:18 · Score: 0, Funny
  
  Spirit will "stop working" as soon as it finds something interesting.
2. Re:Taking bets now by nnnneedles · 2004-01-20 04:19 · Score: 2, Funny
  
  those pics look like textures. Nice gfx and all but the poly count is pretty low. And no sky box!
  
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3. Re:Taking bets now by sharkey · 2004-01-20 05:46 · Score: 3, Funny
  
  All they did was paint the Moon set from the '60s red, and are taking pictures as we speak.
  
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Re:Mars? by Aardpig · 2004-01-20 04:17 · Score: 4, Funny

Is it good or is it not so good?

That's 'whack', not 'not so good', YOU INSENSITIVE CLOD!

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I'm getting ready to grind the rock too by corebreech · 2004-01-20 04:17 · Score: 5, Funny

I just don't take pictures or issue press releases. Probably best that way.

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OMG... by Anonymous Coward · 2004-01-20 04:18 · Score: 4, Funny

OMG... that rock is like, a pyramid! I wonder what secrets it holds?!
ESA is not very clever. by Krapangor · 2004-01-20 04:19 · Score: 2, Funny

The pictures would be more detailed if they would let Mars Express fly a little lower. And they would have a decent chance to find Beagle 2, too.

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1. Re:ESA is not very clever. by Quixote · 2004-01-20 04:40 · Score: 1, Funny
  
  I thought the beagle had been sighted?
Press release is kind of funny... by JMZero · 2004-01-20 04:21 · Score: 5, Funny

...featuring famous landmarks on the surface of Mars 'as seen through European eyes'...

I thank those noble European eyes that were sacrificed in order to make this European mission Euro-possible.

It's ironic. By so blatantly highlighting the Euro-ticity of this mission, they sound very American.

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1. Re:Press release is kind of funny... by Puls4r · 2004-01-20 04:38 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  Thank you for pointing that out. I was waiting for someone to do it - and you did in a much better way than I could of. Seems like the ESA has a serious case of American Penis Envy. Scratch that. The whole damn EU seems to have it. Why does every clipping have to mention how they are doing it "better" than Americans are..... Yeah ok. I wonder if I can find a part of Mars no one has mapped, look at it with my Telescope, then make some grandiose statement about how the ESA's piece of shit probe missed this or that particular feature.......
2. Re:Press release is kind of funny... by Dark+Lord+Seth · 2004-01-20 05:33 · Score: 4, Funny
  
  Mars, as seen through various eyes:
  
  European: Look! We've boldly gone where the Americans have gone before!
  
  Chinese: Look! Maybe we can mine it an populate it just to piss of the americans!
  
  American: Look! It doesn't have a McDonalds! NUKE IT!
  
  Trekkie: Look! We're going to build a planet based space dock there!
  
  Conspiracy theorist: Look! That's where the aliens are! They're just using their invisibility rays!
  
  Slashbot: FIRST LOOK!
  
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3. Re:Press release is kind of funny... by DanBrusca · 2004-01-20 07:18 · Score: 2, Funny
  
  A bar in London? They were probably Australians ;)
Re:Grind a rock in Arizona desert by Anonymous Coward · 2004-01-20 04:23 · Score: 0, Funny

Why not just land in one of their city's then we'll know for sure there's life?
Adirondack? by twoslice · 2004-01-20 04:26 · Score: 3, Funny

grind the rock Adirondack
Since when did NASA scientists stop calling rocks after cartoon characters. The last visit to Mars we had Scoobydoo, Popeye and Barnicle Bill. Those names were really scientific sounding too...

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From NASA with Love... by JoeLinux · 2004-01-20 04:28 · Score: 3, Funny

How sweet!

I was bored....

JoeLinux
Re:Image mirror by BWJones · 2004-01-20 04:30 · Score: 5, Funny

Another one here, just in case.

In case of what? This workstation hosting the image is running OS X. :-)

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Re:Mars environment by CGP314 · 2004-01-20 04:30 · Score: 3, Funny

I am lazy(don't want to google), but I also thought it would be interesting for other people to know. But what is the envirnoment like on Mars? Oxygen? Gravity? High/Low temps? etc..

Here is the last two lines of your post entered in google, except with `environment' spelled right, you lazy bastard.

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Re:Mars Image by mantera · 2004-01-20 04:45 · Score: 2, Funny

My childhood suspicions are confirmed;.. Mars is one friggin' big toffee pie!

see for yourself... this is Mars, and this is what it's made of
Mars ate Beagle 2.... by tUrBzY · 2004-01-20 04:55 · Score: 3, Funny

and now Beagle 1 is eating up our computers!

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Mars Mission... by BigJimSlade · 2004-01-20 05:05 · Score: 5, Funny

...the most expensive computer wallpaper generating space mission ever.
Re:Party-line-towing, anti-Semitic lunatics ...... by Anonymous Coward · 2004-01-20 05:05 · Score: 1, Funny

...I'll take "Who are the Democratic candidates for President" for $500, Alex.
amazing tactics by Anonymous Coward · 2004-01-20 05:12 · Score: 1, Funny

this is an amazing tactic(!):

send three probs. you def. know that the
mars-probe-eater is insatiable and gon get one.

so you send three probs. a small cheap one that's
going to lure the mars-probe-eater away from
the the two real probs! amazing!

maybe next time the lure-probe won't actually
need all the fancy equipment. some bright
fancy LED, some flowers and maybe a small
altar and some nitty-pitty glas juwlery might
just do better job.

maybe adding a few pounds of c-4 will then get
rid of the mars-probe-eater once and for all? :P
I hope they have audio gear! by CaptCanuk · 2004-01-20 05:16 · Score: 4, Funny

I hope they have audio gear on that expensive digital camera just in case that rock says "Owww! Stop grinding me!"

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It's our turn to be cultural imperialists by zoney_ie · 2004-01-20 08:49 · Score: 2, Funny

Hey, it's Europe's turn to try out cultural imperialism (again), don't knock it. In no time we'll have you Americans eating French fries and pizzas, using European languages (e.g. English, words from French like derriere, cafe), trying to learn the Metric system, setting your time system based on a location in England, madly trying to trace your roots back to Ireland, coming over here to see our old castles and achievements predating the founding of the US, yearning for Mercedes Benz and BMWs...

Remember, Europe is the best. The whole world should accept our values, try to imitate us, buy all that we have to sell, use our currency... Eire go deo, Vive la France, God save the Queen, etc., etc. 15-25 times.

Kind of sickening isn't it. I guess being proud is not something to be proud of.

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