Slashdot Mirror
At Long Last, Mice Produce Sperm From Monkeys
Hoon Mihn Fao writes "The BBC Reports: 'Mice have been used to produce viable monkey sperm using tissue transplanted from the testes of macaques.
The U.S. scientists involved say their work might one day help to conserve animals that are facing extinction.'"
...how surprised the mouse on the recieving end of this will be when she gives birth to a monkey.
Paul Lenhart writes words!
My brain is overloaded.... hard to resist the many many bad jokes.
Must hit submit quick!
Arrogance is Confidence which lacks integrity. -- me
...Those mice are f*cking like monk-- oh, wait.
Ed R.Zahurak
You know, oblivion keeps looking better every day.
For a minute there I thought it said "spam from monkeys."
"It might also be possible to grow human sperm in mice, although the team agree this would be a controversial move."
GUARD 1: It's not a question of whether it's controversial! It's a simple question of size ratios! A five-inch mouse cannot carry a one-foot human baby!
GUARD 2: Well suppose two mice carried it together
-- Monty Python and the Holy Grail (Adapted)
"The amount of intelligence on this planet is a constant. The population is growing." -Cole's Axiom
And to think, according to george carlin, today is the 2 million anniversary of sperm. We've come a long way folks :)
Wait, on second thought, please don't answer that.
I forget what 8 was for.
"At Long Last, Mice Produce Sperm From Monkeys"
Wow... somebody has VERY specific tastes....
"Derp de derp."
It took me at least 10 seconds to realize that I had NOT misread the title. *shudder*
hmm, that would make a slashdot story..
This is my Sig, this is my Gun. One is for Slashdot and one is for Fun.
There's an easier way to get sperm "from monkeys".
No fear! Plenty of women are scared of mice.
The mouse must then be constantly producing a thin gelatinous ooze of reproductive material, which is attempting to burrow into anything and everything nearby.
I'm having a hard time visualising this...
Fortunatly, the hentai version will be out shortly to serve as an educational visual aid. I mean, with all those schoolgirls in there, its gotta be for educational purposes, right?
You can't take the sky from me...
Aren't elephants scared of mice?
Maybe use a pig instead of a mouse...
All it takes is nukes and nerves.
From the article: "Prepubescent boys undergoing treatment for cancer that will render them sterile could benefit, Professor Dobrinski suggest."
"Billy, the doctors have good news. The cancer is in remission, and you're going to make a complete recovery! And guess what else? The doctors have given you a pet immunodeficient mouse! Take good care of him Mr. Fuzzy if you ever want to have kids of your own."
The angel in the oatmeal.
Chef: Hello there children.
Kyle: Hey Chef.
Chef: How you doin'?
Boys: Bad.
Chef: Why bad?
Kyle: We need to genetically engineer our mouse and an monkey, but their genes won't splice.
Chef: Ahhhh, of course they won't splice children. Haven't you ever heard that song by 'Loverboy'?
Chef: Dooodnnndoodnn - A mouse and an monkey DNA just won't...A mouse-monkey. Say, now that's not a bad idea.
Kyle: I told you guys.
Chef: Imagine, a pint sized monkey that you could keep in the house. Children, we could make a fortune with this.
Kyle: You hear that dudes? We'll be rich!
Chef: Forget about all that genetic engineering whoosafudge. If you want to combine a mouse and an monkey, just get them to make sweeet love.
Cartman: Whaaat?!
Stan: I don't think an monkey would make love to a mouse.
Cartman: I don't think my mouse would want to make love to that stupid monkey.
Chef: Sure they would. But you're gonna have to get 'em in the mood.
Stan: So how do we do that?
Chef: Do what I do, get 'em goood and drunk.
Don't look at me that way, somebody had to say it. Surely I'm not the first to recognize the potential of licensing this technology to the Japanese entertainment industry.
1. Does this lab have an affiliate program I can promote?
and
2. Makes me think twice feeding mice to my tegus now. As I feed them, I think, "That might've be the grandmother of my future kids kids kids." (well didnt look that close [male? female?] but you get the idea..)
I cant take it anymore... I'll leave it at that...
This explains what people mean when they say "Well I'll be a monkey's uncle" !!