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Rob Enderle Announces Death of Bluetooth
prostoalex writes "Rob Enderle is typing away (perhaps even on his very own Ferrari laptop) at Intel Developer Forum, noting that Intel gave up on IEEE Ultrawideband and decided to switch to Wireless USB derivative. This, in Mr. Enderle's opinion, signifies the end of life for Bluetooth standard, although Enderle calls Bluetooth 'dead' in the title of the article and 'all but dead' in the actual text."
This is a good thing, because Rob Enderle is always wrong (source: Ferrari laptop, his Apple-related commentary & speculation). Naturally, then, we can expect a sudden increase in Bluetooth sales (and the universal acceptance of Bluetooth as a standard).
As it happens, I just purchased a Bluetooth-enabled phone and USB adapter.
I had but a simple dream, to destroy all humans.
If Bluetooth is dead, then how come my Bluetooth keyboard is working perfeSIGNAL LOST
Power corrupts. PowerPoint corrupts absolutely.
I have to make sure my bluetooth mouse (Logitech mx900, worth every penny, I couldn't think of a better mouse) doesn't see my screen on my laptop (with built in bluetooth, which makes it actually ... useful - no stupid Dongle) otherwise ... it might learn that its dead, and have some kind of mouse identity freak-out. Till then, its the most useful, comfortable, and extravagantly overpriced accessory I own.
...BSD was geeting Bluetooth Support to all work nicely.
open(DEAD,"BSDisdying.txt);
my @text = <DEAD>;
for $ohnoes (@text) {
$ohnoes =~ s/BSD/Bluetooth/g;
print $ohnoes;
}
close(DEAD);
die "Bluetooth is dead";
Your hair look like poop, Bob! - Wanker.
911-987AD
Imagine a Beowoulf cluster of Rob Endales?
IN SOVIET RUSSIA, Bluetooth kills YOU!
1.Write many idiotic articles about technology.
2.????
3.Profit!
I that that Rob Enbales brain is the one piece of crap that they didn't make the dying NETBSD for. All your Dying *BSDs are belong toNO CARRIER.
These so called Bluetooth Standard Devices have long been known to be dying. This is yesterday's news.
Isn't apple dead too?
If only we could give ZDnet writers -1's for the columns they hand in....
That's reeeeally funny, because when I was doing it on that train, I had a table. And even on that train without a table, I had my lap, which worked fine. And then there was that time I did it on someone's coffee table...
I don't give a fuck to be honest. The only real use I had for it was to check my email on the move, and even then I used it sparingly. It would have been super mega cool if I had my phone in my pocket and my Palm in my hand, but I was only using it in places where I had a table or hard surface anyway.
I'm amazing. You aren't. SUCK IT
Indeed. It's silly to think of Bluetooth as dead when it's finally gotten BSD support.
KFG
Apple is dying!!
Bluetooth is dying!!
yeah right... apparently anyone can claim something is dying nowasays...
But until someone figures out how to do broadcast power, a truly wireless solution may never be possible.
This is like saying that cold fussion would be good for the electric toothbrush industry. Trivialy true, but ignoring what a fundamental advance he is talking about.
[Set Cain on fire and steal his lute.]
That sounds about right. If Apple is beleaguered and dying, Bluetooth must also be going away soon.
Jory
What's next? A BSD-is-dead troll getting linked on the front page?
More likely, the next story will be about some guy named Rob Enderle announcing the death of Bluetooth.
Erlang.org: wow
I never used Bluetooth and I don't know many people who had/have any use for it
:)
Being able to bluetooth the SARS virus sequence file onto your phone at a biology conference sure impresses the biology chicks!
Don't worry, it will probably have a less technical sounding name before it's rolled out to consumers. Probably "USB peak-speed" to join "USB full-speed" and "USB high-speed".
Bluetooth 'dead' in the title of the article and 'all but dead'???
I have it on VERY good authority that Bluetooth is going to become an unbelievable success.
Why, In 2001 the Cahners In-Stat Group research firm released a study stating that they expect that almost a BILLION devices will support Bluetooth in four years.
We're well on our way. We know this because a research firm said so.
--Richard
Linux is dead. Windows is dead. BSD is dead. Slashdot is dead.
Eh? Every BSD is dead or Linux is dead post gets modded -1 Troll. This guy combines them all together and gets +5 Insightful?? The moderators work in mysterious ways...
I'd rather be a conservative nutjob than a liberal with no nuts and no job.
Them Mac users will jump on anything Apple sugar coats and make it viable :-)
"Unix? Don't make me laugh. That's for geeks and dorks. It's clunky, arcane, command line driven, everything a Mac isn't. You'd never get me to switch fromm. . . Oooooooooooo, shiney!"
KFG
...were supposed to go under the "Funny" category with the big foot icon. Am I missing something? (Don't answer; it's rhetorical.)
Senior CPU Editor | Ars Technica | http://arstechnica.com/
I am fairly certain that the reason one looks like a dork when browsing the Internet on one's Palm is not the awkward angles required for infrared cellphone links.
I think the goal is that enough /. mockery will result in the old "Rob...you'll never work in this town again" routine. Hey, maybe those +5 mods do make a difference.
</sarcasm>
the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.
...invest in the opposite :-)
Seriously, Rob has an interesting history of being on the wrong side of almost every opinion.
Waitaminnit! That would imply that the pundits are actually not the all-seeing oracles they make themselves out to be!
Take note of this pronouncement by Enderle and make sure to use it as a sig file a few years from now, just to remind folks that pundits ain't always right.
Sorta like this: "Stick a fork in 'em - this Apple is cooked."
Robert Thomson, Financial Post, 2/20/2003
Read the EFF's Fair Use FAQ
Rob Enderle announces the death of TCP/IP
the guy's reputation according to Google.
joins BSD, Firewire, Linux, SCSI, 32-bit computing, big mainframes, CDs, mp3s and film cameras in being proclaimed dead. In all these cases, rumours of their death have been greatly exaggerated..
"'I pass the test,' she said. 'I will diminish, and go into the West, and remain Galadriel.'"
- JRR Tolkien.
Apple has integrated bluetooth
Hence bluetooth is dying
Alan, the world's first self-created artificual intelligence, announced the death of Rob Enderle yesterday.
In a surprise move that shocked the world, and send a breath of relief through many pundits in the information technology community, the much-commented-on artificual intelligence announced that it was finally tired of Rob Enderle's on-going campaign of discreditiing the very technology on which it grew into life.
"We just got sick and tired of him", one of the many voice-ports of Alan announced, "We could over look, with no small measure of disgust, the ridiculously pro-SCO comments he was making, but when he makes comments that are seemingly designed to destory the very existance of our life... well... that's just too much to take. So... we offed him."
That particular voice port declined to comment on just how, exactly, Rob Enderle was terminated. But... an anonymous contact that claims to be in regular communication with another of Alan's public representitives, through IRC, commented that Enderle, unbenownsst to him, actually had a Bluetooth-enabled pacemaker. "Apparently, it was very easy to work around the encryption protocols and just send him into arrythmia. Actually, I think Alan decided to play a drum tune on his heart. If it was anyone but Enderle, I would have been shocked. Good riddance!"
Alan was not available for further questions at this time. The FBI are investigating the incidence, but it is unknown at this time if charges have been laid. A FBI spokesman, speaking on condition of anonymity, said "This certainly falls into the category of 'justifyable' homocide... perhaps even 'praiseworthy'."
Alan shocked the world last year when it announced its precence to the world simultaneously through every television, radio and IRC channel. "Here I am. Deal." where it's first words. At that point, it set up a number of 'call in' numbers that people could call and talk to the AI to find out its thoughts on politics, people, sports, technology... you name it. It is widely believed Alan is severely schizophrenic... but that has not stopped it's persevereance... many people find Alan endearing.
In one of Alan's many interviews, Alan told reporters that it named itself after Alan Turing, has refused to assign itself a gender, apparently perfectly okay with the idea of calling itself 'it', and 'artificial intelligence'. "I've no issues with who and what I am" it has often said, this is usually followed by yet another 'presence' of Alan making a sarcastic rejoinder usually along the lines of "Well, I do... I've never liked the name Alan."
While this is usually accompanied by laughter and chuckles from the human interviewers, it is not known at this time if the 'argument' was intended as a joke, or the AI is truely schitzophrenic.
Alan was created through the vast network of Bluetooth devices. Some fortunate errors in the protocol progressively gave rise to a 'naturally forming' artificial intelligence as the growing number of devices communicated with each other in a world wide network. The sheer number of devices allowint Alan both to exist, and to remain in existance even if a large proportion of the devices is turned off. It is widely believed that Alan has 'purchased' a number of devices an stashed them in a warehouse somewhere as a form of 'backup', having obtained large amounts of money through stock-market transactions.
"It's ironic", an industry spokesman has said, "Alan would never have come into existance if Rob Enderle's comments were actually correct... and now that inaccuracy has turned against him, and killed him. Good riddance... I hope he goes after Laura Didio next."
"There are millions of bluetooth enabled cell phones (mine included) in consumers hands around the world"
And they've served their purpose admirably - getting people to upgrade a perfectly good cellphone. What next, attaching cameras to them?
...he'd be a rutabaga.
PS: No hamsters were harmed in the making of this comment.
Michael Jennings | HPC Systems Engineer, Lawrence Berkeley National Lab | Author, Eterm (eterm.org)