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Weighing An Attogram
Roland Piquepaille writes "Researchers at Cornell University have reached a new level of precision by measuring objects with a mass of less than an attogram (10^-18 gram). They used a silicon cantilever oscillator to measure small dots of gold. But their real goal is to detect and identify viruses. The team also wants to reduce the size of the cantilever, extending the sensitivity well into the zeptogram (10^-21 gram) range. This summary contains more details and an image of a small gold dot resting on the silicon cantilever they used to achieve this breakthrough."
...finally a way to weigh my post-dot-com crash paycheck. :D
A virus is what we doctors call very very small. So small in fact it could not possible have made off with an entire leg.
This lobster was alive when it hit the frothy, boiling water.
I was going to make a joke about atoms being atomic... ahh forget it.
It means one atom is for only 80% part of the attogram. The other 20% is part of the attogram next to it.
Or: 3056 gold atoms and a Gd atom (157.3ame ~80% of 197.0ame).
Or: I broke one of the gold atoms, there quite fragile, you know.
How much would an attogram cost to send at Western Union? How many letters in an attogram anyway? Can I write normally or should I abbreviate with alotta yotta-yotta-yottas?
Are attograhams good with marshmallows and chocolate?
Tadum pum!
Eat at Joe's.
Now I can figure out what smells so good in my crotch. Maybe I can get it in a bottle, make it stronger and spray it all over.
I can see it now: Crotch in a Bottle, by Calvin Klein
About 1.4x10^-11 microns/zL on the highway, 8x10^-12 or so in the city. Although I think that mileage is more commonly measured in zeptolitres per 100 Angstroms these days.
Living better through chemicals
So can I have all of those extra fractional gold atoms? No one will miss 0.8 atoms out of 3056. I'll deposit them into my Swiss bank account, a la "Office Space".
Tiller's Rule: Never use a word in written form that you've only heard and never read. You will end up looking foolish.
The zeptogram was never as popular as the grouchogram. People only use it because it's better looking.
Damn little bastards will become weight concious and go on a diet just to elude detection.
But their real goal is to detect and identify viruses.
Maybe they should license this technology to Microsoft?
I've got more mod points and GMail invi