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'Brain Pacemakers' Being Tested
meshmar writes "Shades of 'The Terminal Man'? Rob Stein of The Washington Post has reported, via MSNBC, that: 'A handful of scientists around the world have begun cautiously experimenting with devices implanted in patients' bodies to deliver precisely targeted electrical stimulation to the brain in hopes of treating otherwise hopeless behavioral, neurological and psychiatric disorders.' A lot of good can come out of this - potentially. But I can see a the potential for misuse too."
-- Slashdot, making the Left look conservative since 1997.
Didn't the bad dudes in Battle Field Earth have implants that caused them to be extra agressive and bad actors.
Trust me, I speak from experience... I've electricuted myself enough times to know that only bad things come of passing electricity through the brain via outside stimulus... (notice my horrible spelling, contrary to popular belief, I used to be good at spelling until I decided to staple a live electrical wire...)
---
Programming is like sex... Make one mistake and support it the rest of your life.
Dr. Vosknocker: Now, I want you to say "doggy".
Cartman: Doggy.
Dr. Vosknocker: [to audience] Notice, that nothing happens. [to Cartman] Now, say "montana".
Cartman: Montana.
Dr. Vosknocker: Good. Now, "pillow".
Cartman: Pillow.
Dr. Vosknocker: Alright. Now I want you to say "horse f*cker".
Mrs. Cartman: Go on, honey. It's alright.
Cartman: Horse fu-- [gets shocked by the V-chip] That hurts, god damn it!
[gets shocked again]
Dr. Vosknocker: Now I want you to say "big floppy donkey dick".
Cartman: No!
Dr. Vosknocker: [to audience] Success! The child doesn't want to swear!
Cartman: This isn't fair, you sons of bi--
[gets shocked repeatedly]
Check out the best P2P sharing website: MEDIACHEST.COM
Yeah, I think that would suppress my appetite...
The possiblities are astounding! Buy a Microsoft product, get an orgasm!
they can have control over my brain when they pry it out of my cold, dead skull!
I've been a victiZZZZZT ... beneficiary of this technology and I would like to say it has brought me nothing but extreme paiZZZZZZT ... joy as I see that other people may now implanted with this horrifiZZZZZZZZZTTTT ... hopeful device.
I have a brain pacemaker and it sucks...*ZAP*
I mean they're fantastic.
Only on slashdot would someone try to make a serious point and use South Park as an example.
Things look far more frightening, in fact. Genetic weapons could do more than destroy an ethnic group. They could kill according to a person's 'usefulness' or 'talents'. American journalist and bestselling author Thom Hartmann has argued that it would even be possible to kill those with the gene for attention deficit disorder. This means that if you are easily distracted and have a hard time concentrating (there could be other selection criteria as well), you could end up marked for destruction. The Mark of Doom Finally! A solution for those trolls
MoFscker
I think the concern is that people would do precisely that. After all, it happened on both Futurama *and* the Simpsons, so naturally it's of grave concern to the Slashdot editors.
What I'm listening to now on Pandora...
It would probably be:
Buy a Microsoft product, get a BSOD (Blue Schock Of Death)!
Yeah, let's overclock one of these puppies! ;-)
-psy
Buy a Microsoft product, get an orgasm!
:-)
You're under the mistaken assumption that people have an orgasm every time they're screwed
We've replaced all of your tin foil with aluminum foil, which is totally permeable to our MK-ULTRA mind control beams!
While this channel is open:
Attention!
Attention all implantees!
You will now believe that smearing cottage cheese into your hair will prevent the CIA from putting voices in your heads! Report to the nearest dumpster and root around for cartons of expired cottage cheese.
Implantees with last names beginning with a letter from A to Z should STOP taking their medication.
Implantees with last names beginning with secret alphabet letters should continue not taking their medication.
That is all.
Stefan "Mental illness is a serious thing and nothing to make fun of except by insenstive jerks" Jones
OK, we have a "computer" here in the lab that's crashing a lot, and losing people's data, and we have this new theory for how to fix it. I don't exactly know how these "computers" work, of course, so we can't be sure... but we have some ideas gleaned we from when we used to just get rid of them when they broke. A lot of times, we'd take a computer out of the garbage pile and see what was inside. They're mostly green plastic in there. Lots of very small, small parts - too small for the eye to see. No one knows how they all work together, yet, but we put one in an X-Ray and gave it an MRI and we notice that certain parts are hotter than others when the computer is doing different tasks. Also, we put a computer in the blender and then studied the little chunks under a microscope. So we're definitely making progress.
Based on all this we figure Jim in maintenance can insert some electrical probes into the "chips" and send in little shocks with just the right voltage to stop Microsoft Word from crashing so much. Plus we think it might really help our Quake 3 framerates.
We think this could be better than the best idea we've had so far, having computer therapists sit with them and press different keys to try to recreate past successes we've had by trial and error. It couldn't be worse than our previous attempts, which involved just putting unruly computers in the closet until they got better on their own, or administering electric shocks to the outside of the case, or (my favorite) just taking the sucker down to the shop and really giving it a good whack on the drill press.
Somebody call Discover Magazine.
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