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Dept. Of Homeland Security Chooses Groove, P2P

Posted by timothy on from the but-can-anyone-think-of-legitimate-uses-for-p2p dept.

Ryan Barrett writes "Groove Networks has announced that their P2P infrastructure will power the Homeland Security Information Network, an initiative to increase information sharing between federal, state, and local intelligence agencies. (The initiative doesn't give the govt. more information, it just helps agencies better share the information they already have.) Groove Workspace has also been certified with two govt. security standards, FIPS 140-2 level 1 and NIAP CCITSE. In related news, Groove's developers have been diagnosed with acronym whiplash."

23 of 239 comments (clear)

  1. It does, however... by macshune · · Score: 5, Funny

    Give the federal agency more MP3s!!! And the Justice Department can finally get quick access to pr0n so they can research it to help ban it!

    1. Re:It does, however... by cgenman · · Score: 2, Funny

      Well, that explains both the lawyers and the accountants I've met.

      --
      The ______ Agenda
    2. Re:It does, however... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      It boggles the mind to think that there are human beings out there that actually think it's a wise idea to surf porn, or any other questionable content, from work. I'm not anti-pr0n, but generally men beat their cock after/while looking at porn, and it's not really something I like to envision in the workplace.

      "Hey, who pre-creamed the coffee?"

    3. Re:It does, however... by nametaken · · Score: 3, Funny

      Ah yes... I fondly remember the "Tattler" and the frantic calls, "I was searching for cheaper notepads and ended up on a porn site! I swear to god I didn't mean to! Do I get reported to my boss for this?" My usual response was, "Don't worry, I'll take care of it for you." Translation: "nobody looks at that thing unless they're looking for an excuse to fire you, and then you're screwed anyway."

    4. Re:It does, however... by JabberWokky · · Score: 2, Funny
      generally men beat their cock after/while looking at porn

      After you're older than 20-25, you can look at porn without an automatic reaction and just enjoy the pretty pictures. After about 20 or 30 more years, you might need more than porn... or so my inbox tells me. Meanwhile, high school boys often have problems dealing with arousal during math lessions.

      --
      Evan

      --
      "$30 for the One True Ring. $10 each additional ring!" -- JRR "Bob" Tolkien
    5. Re:It does, however... by ezzzD55J · · Score: 4, Funny
      Meanwhile, high school boys often have problems dealing with arousal during math lessions.
      Aww I'm glad to find out I wasn't the only one! Aren't sine functions just so *sexy*!

      Roses are red
      Violets are blue
      While you're deriving me
      I'll be integrating you

  2. Uhh.... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0, Funny

    April 1st isn't for awhile, go back to sleep!

  3. Hold on... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    I thought p2p was evil and used only by terrorists. At least that's what the RIAA told me...

  4. Friend of a friend is... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    So does this mean that the MPAA/RIAA will be after them?

  5. RIAA vs. DoJ by myownkidney · · Score: 4, Funny
    I wonder how long it will be before the RIAA takes DoJ to court.

    Or the DoJ might start investigating the underhand tactics RIAA has used to curtail P2P services.

    Either way, this is very good news.

    --
    Indefinitely Detained US Citizen
  6. Re:I think... by ElizabethP · · Score: 4, Funny

    Oh yeah, and Jello Jigglers are quite pertinent as well.

  7. file list by Cynikal · · Score: 5, Funny

    File: post-911-plans.doc (share or u will b... 192 KB

  8. So, while researching porn... by NotQuiteReal · · Score: 4, Funny
    if it gets you really hot does that mean it's OK or extra bad?

    If it just disgusts you, is it porn or what?

    To paraphrase some supreme court justice or another, I can't tell you where I'd draw the line, but I'll tell you on a case by case basis, if you pay my normal hourly rates.

    --
    This issue is a bit more complicated than you think.
  9. In related news... by bangular · · Score: 4, Funny

    In related news, all terrorist data has magically turned into porn, warez, and mp3's

  10. FIPS? by jx100 · · Score: 3, Funny

    What does the DHS need with really old partitioning software?

  11. Hah! Wait until they start capping upload speeds. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    Don't worry, they'll start turning down upload speeds and "HOTINVESTIGATION_OSAMA_BIN_LADEN_FILM.avi.exe" will be everywhere. Not to mention that those cunts at the FBI like to cancel the uploads at 99%, fucking babies.

  12. I just downloaded tons of MP3s off of Kazaa! by Maul · · Score: 4, Funny

    Take that, Osama!

    --

    "You spoony bard!" -Tellah

  13. Re:Groove - neat, but practical? by Cynikal · · Score: 3, Funny

    yes, but now the left hand can not know what the right is doing in REAL time

  14. Hrm... by a1cypher · · Score: 2, Funny

    Will they release a "Groove P2P lite" that will allow me to login and track who is downloading my info?
    And then I can start random lawsuits suing people for downloading my personal info without paying me royalties...

    Oh wait... sounds vaguely fammilliar...

    1) Post private personal info on Kazaa
    2) Start a bunch of lawsuits
    3) ????
    4) Profit!!!

  15. Lost/misplaced, insecure laptops everywhere by Ars-Fartsica · · Score: 1, Funny
    Just how much sensitive data are people going to be leaving at airports, losing in coffee shops, etc?

    P2P does not seem like the best way to collaborate on sensitive data.

  16. Re:Well that Tom Ridge had a good idea by Slashcrunch · · Score: 4, Funny

    But would I be able to download Britney Spears' latest medical records?

  17. DOJ P2P File Structure by Newt-dog · · Score: 5, Funny
    Welcome to the Department of Justice P2P Network
    This is a Government Server
    **No Unauthorized Use**
    _Directories/Files Available
    __1. Emails Scanned
    __2. Active Cases
    __3. Cases on Hold
    __4. Wire Tap Transcripts
    __5. Satellite Photographs
    __6. Prisoners Incarcerated List
    __7. Archive Files
    __-----A. Old Files
    __-----B. Bob's Files **Top Secret**
    __----------1. Porn0 Pics
    __----------2. MP3 Files
    __----------3. Porn0 .avi files
    __----------4. Misc. Pics

    Hummmm . . . now where did I put that warez directory?

    --
    My Doctor prescribed daily nasal saline irrigation, hehe
  18. No terrorism at the Super Bowl? by clubin · · Score: 2, Funny
    Ridge said this homeland security network had helped officials determine that terrorism wasn't the likely cause of last year's blackout, and has been the cornerstone of efforts to protect national monuments, and secure holiday celebrations and special events, such as the Super Bowl and New Year's Eve celebrations.

    Oh really? The way the media has been buzzing about, I'd gotten the idea that there was a terrorist act at the Super Bowl... something about a warhead malfunction or something?