Infinium Targets Gamers For Stock Purchase After Split

Thanks to HeraldTribune.com for its article discussing the continuing fortunes of PC 'game console' manufacturer Infinium, following much controversy over their forthcoming Phantom console in recent weeks. Infinium CEO Timothy Roberts is quoted as saying, following a "four-for-one stock split", the second of the year, that "...part of Infinium's stock marketing effort will be aimed at video game aficionados, people who have contacted the company via e-mail because they are interested in using the product when it is rolled out and who may also have expressed interest in making a stock investment." With regard to this, it seems that, judging by current prices, "...even before it has a product to sell, Infinium has a market capitalization of $133 million ($5.80 times 23 million shares)."

Comments

Wow. The investment opportunity of 1998!

[Anonymous Coward]

Seriously, can't I just make my checks out to directly to Neil Bush, the Russian mob, and or Nigerian Colonels?

Strategy to generate shareholder value

[ottawanker]

1) Sell shares to suckers (er, sorry, I meant gamers).
2) Release some random computers cleverly disguised as mock-ups of a 'gaming console'.
3) Sue Nintendo, Microsoft, and Sony for stealing their core operating system design (and later expand into suing big users who are using these consoles - maybe check out some Eastern countries to see if they are using clusters of Playstations as weapon guidance systems).
4) Profit.

Re:Strategy to generate shareholder value

[Siniset]

You forgot a few steps... :)

No see, first they'd have to buy the ip in the colecovision (or similar oldschool console) from a company who may or may not of actually owned the ip and then sue the modern console makers for including things like joysticks on their control pads, which are obvious ip violations, amoung others. Then they'd have to offer liscenses to normal console users for the right to use things like pixels on the screen and their gamepad joystick.

Re: fake mock-up

[jjhlk]

Want to make a fake mock-up to impress investors? Take your stylish case, put a mini-itx board with a P4 in it, install the games you will be demo'ing, and use a custom frontend (visual basic even) with Windows running in the background.

Note to Stock Analysts

[Umgawa71]

After the way Infinium Labs has treated [H]ardOCP, I have to suggest to the stock analysts never, under any circumstances, to give this stock a 'Sell' recommendation, lest Infinium's legal department threaten suit for defamation. ... Ooh, I just heard the doorbell; I think I'm being served!

Re:Note to Stock Analysts

[NSash]

Don't worry. Stock analysts never give sell recommendations anyway. (The closest they'll ever come is "hold." If a stock analyst is saying to hold a stock, that means you should've sold your shares last month.)

Re:Uhhhm,

[ChaoticLimbs]

Actually I think that loosely translates to "We at Infinium believe that our company stock will sell best to those people who have no knowledge of investment, corporate economics, or business management. We anticipate our sales to these boobs to comprise 99% of our total market cap."

I heard they throw in ...

[cyrax777]

Ocean front property in Arizona with every 1000 shares purched.

Boiler Room

[Anonymous Coward]

It seems like the boys from the movie "Boiler Room" have found a new pump and dump stock scheme.

look at the technology partners...

[peu]

for the cpu processors we source at Michaels Computers...

Well the company does have /assets/...

[*weasel]

I believe they're listed as:

The Brooklyn Bridge
Florida Swampland
Arizona Beachfront property
The Washington Monument
The Alamo

It makes that share price look pretty reasonable combined with that great console render they're going to maybe possibly pretend to manufacture and distribute.

Infinium Letter #419

[b0r0din]

Dear Sir:

I have been requested by Infinium Labs to contact you for assistance in resolving a matter. Infinium has recently concluded a large number of contracts to supply video game machines to end users. The contracts have immediately produced moneys equalling US$133,000,000. Infinium is desirous of selling their machines in other parts of the world, however, because of certain regulations of the Nigerian Government, it is unable to move these funds to another region.

You assistance is requested as a non-Nigerian citizen to assist Infinium in moving these funds out of Nigeria. If the funds can be transferred to your name, in your United States account, then you can forward the funds as directed by Infinium. In exchange for your accomodating services, Infinium would agree to allow you to retain 10%, or US$13.3 million of this amount.

However, to be a legitimate transferee of these moneys according to Nigerian law, you must presently be a purchaser of at least US$100,000 of Infinium stock.

If it will be possible for you to assist us, we would be most grateful. We suggest that you meet with us in person in Lagos, and that during your visit I introduce you to the representatives of Infinium which produce the good Phantom product, as well as with the creators of Duke Nukem Forever, a partner company.

Please call me at your earliest convenience. Time is of the essence in this matter; very quickly the Nigerian Government will realize that Infinium is maintaining this amount on deposit, and attempt to levy certain depository taxes on it.

Yours truly, etc.

Timothy Roberts
CEO, Infinium Labs

Typo in the write-up

[JimTheta]

"...its article discussing the continuing fortunes of PC 'game console' manufacturer Infinium..."

I think you put the quotes in the wrong place. It should be:

"... PC game console 'manufacturer' Infinium..."

That makes much more sense.

Nicely done. A couple of tips.

[Tired_Blood]

Nice, but in the future, use ALL CAPS (either the whole thing or special words like INFINIUM and PHANTOM) and start with "Greetings and good season to you" or something weird like that.

Re:$5 a share? I'd like to see...

[devnull17]

Well, first you'd have to figure out how to divide by zero.