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War of the Worlds Remake
subtropolis writes "The Guardian has an article about a remake of the classic. Spielberg directing, T. Cruise acting. The guy who did Jurassic Park I & II did the screenplay. Anyone else think Bruce Sterling would've been a good choice for that? Quoth the article: 'While HG Wells was an enthusiastic supporter of many of the film adaptations of his work, the likely attitude that Orson Welles might have had to another director taking one of the works with which he became most closely associated, can only be a matter of conjecture.'"
What's next, a remake of Citizen Kane, Casablanca or Blade Runner?
Don't laugh, in 50 years you may very well be taking your grandkids to a remake of Star Wars..
Trolling is a art,
In other news, engineers are working on wrapping Orson Welles body in copper wire as a means to harness the energy generated by him spinning in his grave.
"Have you ever thought about just turning off the TV, sitting down with your kids, and hitting them?"
Let's post some juicy excerpts from the book as /. stories and see how may geeks panic and run for the hills.
People are so fscking stupid that unless they saw "Independence Day"-style ships vaporizing city blocks, they wouldn't react to even a REAL invasion, and even then it'd be something like "Hey honey, did we upgrade to 3D cable or something...?"
Please. Anyone but Tom. Seriously.
What are you talking about, "this is UNIX, I know this" was one of the best comedic lines ever written. I laughed so hard I was thrown out of the theater.
"Have you ever thought about just turning off the TV, sitting down with your kids, and hitting them?"
Will Smith as one of the aliens, Gwyneth Paltrow as a microbe, and Sam Rockwell as the president. I, for one, welcome our Hollywood rape-daptorlords.
I also reply below your current threshold.
The difference between Heinlein's Starship Troopers and the movie 'adaptation' will probably be the same in this instance.
Repeat after me. There was no Starship Troopers movie.
Do you know why the road less traveled by is littered with the bones of the unwary?
10. Addition of 'good alien' who helps the poor humans escape.
9. Movie being remade as a comeback vehicle for Kate Capshaw
8. Additional 30 minute epilogue containing interminable scenes of humanity and the aliens co-existing in the far future
7. What? No Tom Hanks?
6. Grover's Mill insufficiently multicultural, so location will be moved to San Francisco.
5. Aliens killed by sneaking oxygen tank aboard spaceship and shooting it with a rifle.
4. Main characters will be ethnically-diverse adolescents that are smarter than all the adults. (Note: unknown whether Tom will play an adult or child)
3. Aliens will be cute, furry, and ever-so-marketable.
2. Changes 'War' to 'Misunderstanding' so as to not upset children.
1. Complete abandonment of subtlety, moral ambiguity, or any semblance of creativity
Right on. "Mission Impossible" (1 and 2), for example, were fantastically deep films, with downright Mamet-like plots, and Cruise was fantastic in them! They greatly exceeded the quality of the TV show!
Likewise with "Minority Report." What a wonderful triumph of cinematic art that was! Why, if PKD were alive I'm sure it would have brought a tear to his eye.
I was really thinking Cruise had far too much gravitas and depth for WoW. I really believe the part should go to someone with a lighter touch, who could be more believable in the role. Like Pauly Shore or maybe Rob Schneider.
Not.
Top Gun - Tom is the bestest pilot ever.
The Color of Money - Tom is the bestest pool player ever.
Cocktail - Tom is the bestest bartender ever.
Days of Thunder - Tom is the bested driver ever.
Mission Impossible 1 - Tom is the bestest spy ever.
Mission Impossible 2 - Tom is the bestest spy ever, again.
Okay, you see the pattern here. You're right. You don't see the character in the movie. I don't know if that's because they don't give him much character depth to work with or what.
Hmmm, maybe the twist will be that HIV mutates to MIV and the invaders all die of AIDS.
/usr/bin/sendmail and
On the mac + alienos thing, remember this?
Independence Day - CERT alert
From: CERT Bulletin
Newsgroups: comp.security.announce,rec.humor
Subject: CERT Advisory CA-96.13 - Alien/OS Vulnerability
Date: 4 July 1996 20:52:15 GMT
Organization: CERT(sm) Coordination Center - +1 412-268-7090
CERT(sm) Advisory CA-96.13
July 4, 1996
Topic: ID4 virus, Alien/OS Vulnerability
The CERT Coordination Center has received reports of weaknesses in
Alien/OS that can allow species with primitive information sciences
technology to initiate denial-of-service attacks against MotherShip(tm)
hosts. One report of exploitation of this bug has been received.
When attempting takeover of planets inhabited by such races, a trojan
horse attack is possible that permits local access to the MotherShip
host, enabling the implantation of executable code with full root access
to mission-critical security features of the operating system.
The vulnerability exists in versions of EvilAliens' Alien/OS 34762.12.1
or later, and all versions of Microsoft's Windows/95. CERT advises
against initiating further planet takeover actions until patches
are available from these vendors. If planet takeover is absolutely
necessary, CERT advises that affected sites apply the workarounds as
specified below.
As we receive additional information relating to this advisory, we will
place it in
ftp://info.cert.org/pub/cert_advisories/CA-96.13.R EADME
We encourage you to check our README files regularly for updates on
advisories that relate to your site.
I. Description
Alien/OS contains a security vulnerability, which strangely enough
can be exploited by a primitive race running Windows/95. Although
Alien/OS has been extensively field tested over millions of years by
EvilAliens, Inc., the bug was only recently discovered during a
routine invasion of a backwater planet. EvilAliens notes that
the operating system had never before been tested against a race
with "such a kick-ass president."
The vulnerability allows the insertion of executable code with
root access to key security features of the operating system. In
particular, such code can disable the NiftyGreenShield (tm)
subsystem, allowing child processes to be terminated by unauthorized
users.
Additionally, Alien/OS networking protocols can provide a
low-bandwidth covert timing channel to a determined attacker.
II. Impact
Non-privileged primitive users can cause the total destruction of
your entire invasion fleet and gain unauthorized access to
files.
III. Solution
EvilAliens has supplied a workaround and a patch, as follows:
A. Workaround
To prevent unauthorized insertion of executables, install a
firewall to selectively vaporize incoming packets that do not
contain valid aliens. Also, disable the "Java" option in
Netscape.
To eliminate the covert timing channel, remove untrusted
hosts from routing tables. As tempting as it is, do not use
target species' own satellites against them.
B. Patch
As root, install the "evil" package from the distribution tape.
(Optionally) save a copy of the existing
modify its permission to prevent misuse.
The CERT Coordination Center thanks Jeff Goldblum and Fjkxdtssss for
providing information for this advisory.
If you believe that y
There is much cruelty in the universe, John.
Yeah, we seem to have the tour map.
Perhaps. We can hope, but Hollyweird normally treats scripts from the orignal writer like a Vogon treats orders to save his grandmother from the Ravinous Bugblatter Beast of Traal.
One line blog. I hear that they're called Twitters now.
And he is making gay porn.
And there was only one sequel to Alien. And only one Highlander.
No doubt he'll discover their weakness and sneeze on the alien commander in a climactic battle on the mothership.
After Cruise uses an Apple laptop to hack through the alien's security, there will be a big, Matrix-like fight sequence with the evil alien commander, whose name is Xenu. Cruise will sneeze and droplets will fly out of his nose, bullet-time style. Expect extreme slow motion close ups of phlegm hitting Xenu. The whole sequence will last 15 minutes.
- None can love freedom heartily, but good men; the rest love not freedom, but license. -- John Milton