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Microsoft's Online Music Store

Posted by CmdrTaco on from the sound-of-monopoly-expanding dept.

jamshedji noted a short story that talks about Microsoft's Online Music Store. The market is already getting quite crowded, so it will be interesting to see what affect the monopoly's entrance makes when this goes down in the 2nd half of this year.

26 of 240 comments (clear)

  1. A two-for-one sale! by ChaoticChaos · · Score: 4, Funny

    Download a proprietary encoded song for 89 cents and get a WORM at no extra charge. ;-)

    1. Re:A two-for-one sale! by DigiShaman · · Score: 5, Funny

      If Microsoft was into selling Tequila, that would be a good thing.

      "Download a bottle of Tequila for 2 bucks, and get a WORM at no extra charge."

      --
      Life is not for the lazy.
    2. Re:A two-for-one sale! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      Yes but this being Microsoft, someone in Marketing would decide that tape worms "look better". So each bottle would have a live tapeworm in it, which would invariably lodge itself in your intestines and replicate, infecting others through public lavatories. Some people would die from the infestations, at which point Microsoft would blame "bottling problems" and release "Tequila 2.0" It too would have tape worm in every bottle, but this one would be dead. Most of the time.

      Dispite this, billions of people would continue to purchase Microsoft Tequila because "It's a better color than the other tequilas".

  2. Give me a break by PurdueGraphicsMan · · Score: 3, Funny
    Funny. When I think of what Microsoft's online music store would be like, I picture an extremely limited selection of music which consists of artists like Barry Manilow, America and William Shatner. I also picture most of the album art work being unavailable and replaced with a "No Picture Available" graphic that appears broken most of the time. Microsoft is so second rate.

    Picture a group of old ladies wearing sun visors trying to sell modern hand bags to teen age girls. It's just not going to happen.

    --


    The guitars sound good, now give me about 10db more on the cow bell.
    1. Re:Give me a break by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

      I picture that Rolling Stone's song "You Cant Always Get Want You Want" being available in large numbers

    2. Re:Give me a break by IWorkForMorons · · Score: 2, Funny

      Don't forget about "Start Me Up" too...

    3. Re:Give me a break by ultrabot · · Score: 4, Funny

      Funny. When I think of what Microsoft's online music store would be like, I picture an extremely limited selection of music which consists of artists like Barry Manilow, America and William Shatner.

      That's true. Even MSFT TV commercials are so yucku-tacky, you know, "we want your kid to be succesful and make lots of money".

      Microsoft is the polar opposite of anything "controversial", and art should thrive on a bit of controversial edge.

      This is in stark contrast with what *really* takes place at Microsoft: dark dungeons with decapitated penguins, Steve Ballmer banging Bill Gates with both of them wearing S/M leather, Masonic rituals empahisizing their desire to establish a New World Order based on oppression & greed, George Bush fundraisers, black-clas programmers baking soap from the fat of newborn babies...

      --
      Save your wrists today - switch to Dvorak
  3. In other news... by jwthompson2 · · Score: 5, Funny

    Microsoft's innovation and originality has just hit an all time low....

    --
    Even if I knew that tomorrow the world would go to pieces, I would still plant my apple tree. -Martin Luther
    1. Re:In other news... by ilctoh · · Score: 2, Funny

      Jeez... this post is a dupe! Who do you think you are, CmdrTaco? We've been hearing about MS's lack of innovationa and originality for months now.

      --
      How many slashes would a slashdot dot, if a slashdot could dot slashes?
    2. Re:In other news... by the_consumer · · Score: 2, Funny

      Months? You must be new here...

      --
      "If you're thinking what I'm thinking, you're right." -
  4. LOL by Solar+Limb · · Score: 5, Funny
    Next thing you know, they'll come out with some huge, bloated, over-featured music player!

    Wait.

  5. Can you hear me now by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    YES, downloading mp3.........no wait these are .wma with copy protection, how can i share these?

  6. I have one question... by xcham · · Score: 5, Funny

    Is "Start Me Up" by the Rolling Stones up for download? That'd bring the whole MS circle of crap to a sort of cosmic finality. :)

    --
    When life gives you lemons, you CLONE those lemons, and make SUPER-LEMONS. -- Dr. Cinnamon Scudworth, Ph.D
  7. Going down at Microsoft? by medscaper · · Score: 4, Funny
    when this goes down in the 2nd half of this year.

    Ya know, I'm not a huge Microsoft fan, but I'd probably be convinced to pay $0.99 a pop for that...

    --
    Any sufficiently well-organized Government is indistinguishable from bullshit.
  8. Looking for the SCO Music Store by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    SCO Music Store: Only $699 per song!

    Packard Bell Music Store: only sells 8 tracks

    Apple Music Store: you have to jam a bent paperclip into a pinhole to eject the CDs

    George Foreman Music Store: knock out the phat

    Emachines Music Store: The CD's are printed on ice; sorry, no guarantees

    Chrylser Music Store: $25.99 per CD, with an $8.00 rebate

  9. Re:Compatibility with industry standards by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    At Microsoft we know what consumers like and that is whatever our two billion dollar budget marketing department tells them. We think consumers will like our service. It is important to note that consumers minds and hearts can be shaped. The only concern we have is whether we can legally bundle our music service with out operating system or our media player. The key is always distribution mechanism of the software and we will work hard to become the market leader.

    -Microsoft, Always Innovating.

  10. Redmond says "Me Too"... by blcamp · · Score: 4, Funny


    Pathetic.

    Wasn't it a few short years ago that MS complained about the government taking away their "freedom to innovate"?

    Now it seems the marketplace is running circles around Gates and Co.

    Perhaps Ballmer needs to run around in circles too... this time screaming "Originality! Originality! Originality! Originality! Originality! Originality!"

    --
    The problem with socialism is that they always run out of other people's money. - Margaret Thatcher
  11. Grammar by MacEnvy · · Score: 4, Funny

    It will be even more interesting to see the effect of the monopoly's entrance. And how that will affect the rest of the market. /stickler

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    ***
  12. Why restrict it to WMV? by wombatmobile · · Score: 2, Funny

    ...because WMV works just fine for Barry Mannilow, America and William Shatner.

  13. I wonder... by leomekenkamp · · Score: 3, Funny

    I wonder if they will feature this wond'rous piece of melody and rhyme.

    --
    Wenn ist das Nunstueck git und Slotermeyer? Ja! Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput.
  14. Re:Microsoft's Theory of Success -- oblig by chef_raekwon · · Score: 2, Funny

    I use Microsoft everyday

    in Soviet Russia, Microsoft uses you!

    oh wait....isnt that...

    nevermind.

    --
    We're like rats, in some experiment! -- George Costanza
  15. Re:Next version of Windows... by afvdk · · Score: 5, Funny

    MS in front of the Judge:

    Oh no your honor, the MSTunes is tightly integrated into the OS. We cannot remove it.

  16. Obligatory post . by CdBee · · Score: 4, Funny

    I won't do it until they offer .OGG files! Well, someone had to say it.. now move along...

    --
    I have been a user for about 10 years. This ends Feb 2014. The site's been ruined. I'm off. Dice, FU
  17. Re:Integration by tbone1 · · Score: 2, Funny
    Apple already has it come with their OS so M$ won't be doing something new.

    The difference is, I can delete iTunes from OS X with a drag-and-drop with little-to-no kvetching from the operating system. Methinks it will be a bit different on the MicroSoft side. There's a fine line between pessimism and empiricism.

    --

    The Independent: Reverend Spooner Arrested in Friar Tuck Incident - ISIHAC, Historical Headlines
  18. Re:What's the big deal? by Pieroxy · · Score: 2, Funny

    talking about MS: As long as they stick to the rules of fair-play

    Still believe in Santa Claus huh? Guys, don't spoil the surprise for him!

    --
    Write boring code, not shiny code!
  19. I just wonder if they're going to have by mcc · · Score: 2, Funny

    "Do You Like Worms", by the Beach Boys

    --
    Irritable, left-wing and possibly humorous bumper stickers and t-shirts