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OpenBSD Meets The Cat License Sketch [updated]
Ash'aman writes "The OpenBSD crew have just posted lyrics and illustrations for the upcoming release of OpenBSD 3.5. Included is a hillarious parody of the Monty Python 'cat license' sketch with respect to their battle against software patents over redundancy protocols. Check it out here." The sketch is ready; the software is listed with a May 1st release date. As several Monty Python fans have pointed out, the original sketch is officially called the fish license sketch; the cat just comes earlier in the script.
'Cat License'?
It's Not 'Cat License', you smarmy Git! Run, Don't Walk, to the video store and rent episode #23 of Monty Python's Flying Circus..
And you call yourself a Geek... For Shame.
DEAD OPERATING SYSTEM SKETCH Cast:
Mr. Praline: John Cleese
Shop Owner: Michael Palin
A customer enters an operating system shop.
Mr. Praline: 'Ello, I wish to register a complaint. (The owner does not respond.)
Mr. Praline: 'Ello, Miss?
Owner: What do you mean "miss"?
Mr. Praline: I'm sorry, I have a cold. I wish to make a complaint!
Owner: We're closin' for lunch.
Mr. Praline: Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about this operating system what I purchased not half an hour ago from this very boutique.
Owner: Oh yes, the, uh, *BSD...What's,uh...What's wrong with it?
Mr. Praline: I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. It's dead, that's what's wrong with it!
Owner: No, no, it's uh,...it's resting.
Mr. Praline: Look, matey, I know a dead operating system when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.
Owner: No no it's not dead, it's, it's restin'! Remarkable OS, *BSD, idn'it, ay? Beautiful kernel!
Mr. Praline: The kernel don't enter into it. It's stone dead.
Owner: Nononono, no, no! It's resting!
Mr. Praline: All right then, if it's restin', I'll wake it up! (bashes at the keyboard) 'Ello, Mister *BSD! I've got a lovely fresh kernel update for you if you show...
(owner hits the keys)
Owner: There, it spewed some debug output to the command line!
Mr. Praline: No, it didn't, that was you hitting the keys!
Owner: I never!!
Mr. Praline: Yes, you did!
Owner: I never, never did anything...
Mr. Praline: (yelling and typing into the console repeatedly) 'ELLO COMMAND PROMPT!!!!! Testing! Testing! Testing! Testing! This is your nine o'clock cron job!
(Rips out hard drive from computer case and thumps it on the counter. Shoves it back inside the case and reboots the system - blank screen.)
Mr. Praline: Now that's what I call a dead operating system.
Owner: No, no.....No, it's stunned!
Mr. Praline: STUNNED?!?
Owner: Yeah! You stunned it, just as it was finishing an I/O task! *BSD stuns easily, major.
Mr. Praline: Um...now look...now look, mate, I've definitely 'ad enough of this. That operating system is definitely deceased, and when I purchased it not 'alf an hour ago, you assured me that its total lack of responsiveness was due to it bein' in the process of recompiling itself after a particularly comprehensive code update.
Owner: Well, it's...it's, ah...probably pining for some dilettante dabbling.
Mr. Praline: PININ' for some DILETTANTE DABBLING?!?!?!? What kind of talk is that? Look, why did it fall flat on its back the moment I started Emacs?
Owner: *BSD prefers swapping everything out to the hard drive! Remarkable variant, id'nit, squire? Lovely kernel!
Mr. Praline: Look, I took the liberty of examining the system when I got it home, and I discovered the only reason that it had been printing any text at all to the screen was because of all the WORRYING COMPILER WARNINGS encountered while it was being rebuilt.
(pause)
Owner: Well, o'course it was spitting out those warnings! If I hadn't updated the kernel with an unstable development build, you might have had your FTP server compromised [slashdot.org], and VOOM! Bye bye to your business.
Mr. Praline: "Server"?!? Mate, this OS wouldn't "serve" if you put four million volts through it! It's bleedin' demised!
Owner: No no! It's pining!
Mr. Praline: It's not pinin'! It's passed on! This OS is no more! It has ceased to be! It's expired and gone to meet its maker! It's a stiff! Bereft of life, it rests in peace! It's kicked the bucket, it's shuffled off its mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!! The numbers continue to decline for *BSD but Free
And I know it is flamebait to some, but I think the best part is that it is actually free, rather than free as defined by the Free Software Foundation.
I'm sick of following my dreams - I'm just going to ask them where they're going and hook up with them later.
Odd, this was wrong in both the linked transcript in the parent, and in the CARP take-off.
/grumblegrumble
The line is NOT "Why should I be tied with the epithet 'loony'...".
Tied? Who "ties" someone with an epithet?
The word is TARRED.
There are plenty of Brits out there... isn't there just one out there (who'll understand the accent) who's willing to transcribe this stuff?
Yeah, I admit I know the sketch by heart. I can even do the different accents, and the whistling bit at the end. But to the untrained eye, I seem perfectly normal....
There are only 10 types of people: those who understand decimal, those who don't, and, uh, 8 other types I forget.
check out UCARP. It's a userland implementation of CARP....enjoy!
The basic sleazeware produced in a drunken fury by a bunch of UCBerkeley grad students was still the core of BIND. --PV
Have you actually checked out what OpenBSD has been doing instead of blindly ranting about it? Go ahead and click the link http://www.openbsd.org/35.html
Notable additions (besides CARP)
BGP4 daemon, unmatched by any other free routing software
pfsync to share firewall states across multiple boxen (goes along with CARP)
amd64 support with on-chip W^X
Security improvements for malloc
Several more daemons run with privilege separation
Support for native AES instructions on some VIA C3 CPUs (accelerated crypto)
Far from being dead, several network equipment vendors are using OpenBSD as a platform for their software, such as SourceFire and nCircle.
The difference is that OpenBSD tries to be an OS for professionals and do things that replace commercial products from companies like Cisco. While the average home user doesn't give a crap (oooh, we want accelerated 3D!) many professionals do (BGP routing, HighAvailability firewalls, professional grade documentation, secure configuration by default, etc).
Oh and buy the way, SMP is actually in CVS and you can actually use it; it's just not part of the 3.5 release.
Someone is WRONG on the Internet!