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OpenBSD Meets The Cat License Sketch [updated]
Ash'aman writes "The OpenBSD crew have just posted lyrics and illustrations for the upcoming release of OpenBSD 3.5. Included is a hillarious parody of the Monty Python 'cat license' sketch with respect to their battle against software patents over redundancy protocols. Check it out here." The sketch is ready; the software is listed with a May 1st release date. As several Monty Python fans have pointed out, the original sketch is officially called the fish license sketch; the cat just comes earlier in the script.
Sure, points for creativity, but: ...?
I am a Computer Information Systems Professional at a major Fortune 500 corporation. Very recently the head of our IT department decided that we were going to switch every one of our networks over to Windows XP Professional. We had previously been running OpenBSD on all our quad processor Xeons. Some of them had had uptimes approaching a year! My personal favourite, Gerbil, had been running without a reboot for three years.
One day one of those Microsoft shills that you often read about on The Register came by for a visit. I grew very suspicious about what was going on when my boss and the Microsoft representative walked by my desk, and entered the server room. I could hear muffled voices through the closed door. The Microsoft representative was asking what we were running on our servers! My worst fears had come true. I sat at my desk for the rest of the day, silently awaiting the bad news. The news did not come until the next day. It was worse than I had feared. We were to be a Microsoft only shop from that day on! I could not believe it. The Microsoft representative had told my boss that the operating and support costs would actually go down. And my boss had fully bought into it, hook, line, and sinker.
Tough times hit our company in the last month, and we were forced to lay off a few of the less experienced IS/IT workers. One of them took this rather hard. As a last minute attempt at corporate sabotage, he decided to change all of the Computer Administrator passwords on a few of the XP Professional boxes sitting around in the server room. This caused absolute havoc, as Dell had failed to send along administrator passwords for the new boxes. Our company could not make use of these computers for three days. It took Dell that long to get us the administrator passwords. It is strictly because of Microsoft's poor implementation of a multi-user computing environment that our company lost three days of productivity.
Needless to say, I had our quad Xeons back running OpenBSD by the end of the week. Gerbil is back on its way to another glorious 3 years of uptime.
... later I heared they make an operating system as well.
www.NetBSD.org - no hype required!
'Cat License'?
It's Not 'Cat License', you smarmy Git! Run, Don't Walk, to the video store and rent episode #23 of Monty Python's Flying Circus..
And you call yourself a Geek... For Shame.
Big kudos to the openbsd people for moving away from patents. It foss doesnt look carefully software patents will cruch us!
DEAD OPERATING SYSTEM SKETCH Cast:
Mr. Praline: John Cleese
Shop Owner: Michael Palin
A customer enters an operating system shop.
Mr. Praline: 'Ello, I wish to register a complaint. (The owner does not respond.)
Mr. Praline: 'Ello, Miss?
Owner: What do you mean "miss"?
Mr. Praline: I'm sorry, I have a cold. I wish to make a complaint!
Owner: We're closin' for lunch.
Mr. Praline: Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about this operating system what I purchased not half an hour ago from this very boutique.
Owner: Oh yes, the, uh, *BSD...What's,uh...What's wrong with it?
Mr. Praline: I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. It's dead, that's what's wrong with it!
Owner: No, no, it's uh,...it's resting.
Mr. Praline: Look, matey, I know a dead operating system when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.
Owner: No no it's not dead, it's, it's restin'! Remarkable OS, *BSD, idn'it, ay? Beautiful kernel!
Mr. Praline: The kernel don't enter into it. It's stone dead.
Owner: Nononono, no, no! It's resting!
Mr. Praline: All right then, if it's restin', I'll wake it up! (bashes at the keyboard) 'Ello, Mister *BSD! I've got a lovely fresh kernel update for you if you show...
(owner hits the keys)
Owner: There, it spewed some debug output to the command line!
Mr. Praline: No, it didn't, that was you hitting the keys!
Owner: I never!!
Mr. Praline: Yes, you did!
Owner: I never, never did anything...
Mr. Praline: (yelling and typing into the console repeatedly) 'ELLO COMMAND PROMPT!!!!! Testing! Testing! Testing! Testing! This is your nine o'clock cron job!
(Rips out hard drive from computer case and thumps it on the counter. Shoves it back inside the case and reboots the system - blank screen.)
Mr. Praline: Now that's what I call a dead operating system.
Owner: No, no.....No, it's stunned!
Mr. Praline: STUNNED?!?
Owner: Yeah! You stunned it, just as it was finishing an I/O task! *BSD stuns easily, major.
Mr. Praline: Um...now look...now look, mate, I've definitely 'ad enough of this. That operating system is definitely deceased, and when I purchased it not 'alf an hour ago, you assured me that its total lack of responsiveness was due to it bein' in the process of recompiling itself after a particularly comprehensive code update.
Owner: Well, it's...it's, ah...probably pining for some dilettante dabbling.
Mr. Praline: PININ' for some DILETTANTE DABBLING?!?!?!? What kind of talk is that? Look, why did it fall flat on its back the moment I started Emacs?
Owner: *BSD prefers swapping everything out to the hard drive! Remarkable variant, id'nit, squire? Lovely kernel!
Mr. Praline: Look, I took the liberty of examining the system when I got it home, and I discovered the only reason that it had been printing any text at all to the screen was because of all the WORRYING COMPILER WARNINGS encountered while it was being rebuilt.
(pause)
Owner: Well, o'course it was spitting out those warnings! If I hadn't updated the kernel with an unstable development build, you might have had your FTP server compromised [slashdot.org], and VOOM! Bye bye to your business.
Mr. Praline: "Server"?!? Mate, this OS wouldn't "serve" if you put four million volts through it! It's bleedin' demised!
Owner: No no! It's pining!
Mr. Praline: It's not pinin'! It's passed on! This OS is no more! It has ceased to be! It's expired and gone to meet its maker! It's a stiff! Bereft of life, it rests in peace! It's kicked the bucket, it's shuffled off its mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!! The numbers continue to decline for *BSD but Free
yeah, lets all use a slow outdated version of BSD that's "secure" if you turn all the services off. pffft
only 23.4 remote exploits
screw openbsd
OpenBSD Meets The Grim Reaper; deal reached that allows OpenBSD to stay alive as long as it doesn't have any more remote holes in the default install in the next 7 years. OpenBSD leader Theo said to be pleased, BSD Trolls forced to troll on Amiga fansites... Film at 11.
This is insane!!! I find it quite ridiculous; look at the measures that the OpenBSD folks had to go through just to implement a Free protocol.
Well, I guess we should abandon all OSS/GPL software and OS'.
I am not a OpenBSD user but I do support their idea to implement a free version of a commercial product or invent their own from scratch. And I am quite disappointed about them having a hard time getting a port assignment from IANA.
They have been busy, adding bgp, stateful fw failover, and more, aside from the usual flamefests over unfree liscenses (apache, Xfree, Firefox).
the dns servers I run on OBSD are rock solid, so SNP is not an issue. I have seen reports that OBSD lags behind performancewise, any one have real experience?
And what about the support for wireless? B only, what about A/G?
WHEN I WAS TWELVE!
Odd, this was wrong in both the linked transcript in the parent, and in the CARP take-off.
/grumblegrumble
The line is NOT "Why should I be tied with the epithet 'loony'...".
Tied? Who "ties" someone with an epithet?
The word is TARRED.
There are plenty of Brits out there... isn't there just one out there (who'll understand the accent) who's willing to transcribe this stuff?
Yeah, I admit I know the sketch by heart. I can even do the different accents, and the whistling bit at the end. But to the untrained eye, I seem perfectly normal....
There are only 10 types of people: those who understand decimal, those who don't, and, uh, 8 other types I forget.
An implementation on Linux would certainly be helpful in making this implementation more widespread -- and let's face it -- there is no viable alternative for a *free* operating system. It is pretty clear the IETF have long ago been infiltrated and taken over by corporate interests and will probably never again support truely open standards. And you know what, I have a lot more faith in the ability of the OpenBSD developers chances of making a halfway decent and secure protocol than Ciscos.
(This really deserve more attention than a 'BSD article will get. Slashdot really should have put this somewhere more front and center. No slight to the 'BSDs intended, it is just a sad fact.)
You're a DragonFly guy?
Damn that was funny. Too bad the gay homosexual faggot BSD fanbois had to mod you down because I don't remember the last time I actually laughed at a BSD troll. Anyone with the courage and creativity to write an original BSD is dying troll (whether or not it's a parody of Monty Python or anything else) deserves to be modded up.
If you modded the parent comment down, please click here.
If you agree that slashdot would be boring without the trolls, please click here.
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BSD Zork v1.0
You are in an underground cavern. You can hear water dripping. Light comes from a small rocky skylight. There are passages to the EAST and WEST.
>GO EAST
You follow the passage east and end up in a small square room. The passage continues EAST, and a dark corridor goes WEST, where you came from. On the floor you can see a MODIFIED LINUX KERNEL.
>GET KERNEL
You pick up the KERNEL
>GO EAST
You find yourself in a badly lit underground basement. It smells. A BSD USER sits in the corner using OPEN BSD on some obsolete hardware. There is a door marked EXIT on the east wall, and a passage back west.
>LOOK USER
The BSD USER is a large, potbellied man with lanky, unwashed hair and smells of overripe cabbage. He appears to have some sort of skin problem. He wears a XXL T-Shirt with an unamusing slogan and is engrossed in his computer, occasionally muttering to himself.
>GO EAST
The door is locked
>SPEAK USER
The BSD USER ignores you.
>USE MODIFIED LINUX KERNEL
You crash OPEN BSD easily.
>ASK USER WHERE KEY
The BSD USER spends ten minutes shouting 'RTFM!!!!!', 'OMFG shuddup n00b!!!!!!', and muttering about benchmarks, before fishing around in his pockets and producing the KEY and a large number of USED TISSUES.
>GET KEY
You pick up the KEY.
>UNLOCK DOOR
The door is unlocked
>LEAVE HOVEL
You escape outside. Taking several deep breaths, you reflect that air has never smelled so sweet. Behind you, you hear the distant wails as sunlight penetrates the basement. Play again? (y/n)
>N
it died, just like BSD
DEAD OPERATING SYSTEM SKETCH Cast:
Mr. Praline: John Cleese
Shop Owner: Michael Palin
A customer enters an operating system shop.
Mr. Praline: 'Ello, I wish to register a complaint. (The owner does not respond.)
Mr. Praline: 'Ello, Miss?
Owner: What do you mean "miss"?
Mr. Praline: I'm sorry, I have a cold. I wish to make a complaint!
Owner: We're closin' for lunch.
Mr. Praline: Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about this operating system what I purchased not half an hour ago from this very boutique.
Owner: Oh yes, the, uh, Windows...What's,uh...What's wrong with it?
Mr. Praline: I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. It's dead, that's what's wrong with it!
Owner: No, no, it's uh,...it's resting.
Mr. Praline: Look, matey, I know a dead operating system when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.
Owner: No no it's not dead, it's, it's restin'! Remarkable OS, Windows, idn'it, ay? Beautiful kernel!
Mr. Praline: The kernel don't enter into it. It's stone dead.
Owner: Nononono, no, no! It's resting!
Mr. Praline: All right then, if it's restin', I'll wake it up! (bashes at the keyboard) 'Ello, Mister Windows! I've got a lovely security update for you if you show...
(i>(Owner hits the keys)
Owner: There, it spewed some debug output to the command line!
Mr. Praline: No, it didn't, that was you hitting the keys!
Owner: I never!!
Mr. Praline: Yes, you did!
Owner: I never, never did anything...
Mr. Praline: (yelling and typing into the console repeatedly) 'ELLO DOS PROMPT!!!!! Testing! Testing! Testing! Testing! This is your nine o'clock virus scan!
(Rips out hard drive from computer case and thumps it on the counter. Shoves it back inside the case and reboots the system - blue screen of death.)
Mr. Praline: Now that's what I call a dead operating system.
Owner: No, no.....No, it's stunned!
Mr. Praline: STUNNED?!?
Owner: Yeah! You stunned it, just as it was finishing an I/O task! Windows stuns easily, major.
Mr. Praline: Um...now look...now look, mate, I've definitely 'ad enough of this. That operating system is definitely deceased, and when I purchased it not 'alf an hour ago, you assured me that its total lack of responsiveness was due to it bein' in the process of recompiling itself after a particularly comprehensive code update.
Owner: Well, it's...it's, ah...probably pining for some dilettante dabbling.
Mr. Praline: PININ' for some DILETTANTE DABBLING?!?!?!? What kind of talk is that? Look, why did it fall flat on its back the moment I started notepad?
Owner: Windows prefers swapping everything out to the hard drive! Remarkable variant, id'nit, squire? Lovely kernel!
Mr. Praline: Look, I took the liberty of examining the system when I got it home, and I discovered the only reason that it had been printing any text at all to the screen was because of all the EXCEPTION ERRORS encountered while it was checking for new hardware.
(pause) Owner: Well, o'course it was spitting out those warnings! If I hadn't updated the kernel with a service pack release, you might have had your FTP server compromised [slashdot.org], and VOOM! Bye bye to your business.
Mr. Praline: "Server"?!? Mate, this OS wouldn't "serve" if you put four million volts through it! It's bleedin' demised!
Owner: No no! It's pining!
Mr. Praline: It's not pinin'! It's passed on! This OS is no more! It has ceased to be! It's expired and gone to meet its maker! It's a stiff! Bereft of life, it rests in peace! It's kicked the bucket, it's shuffled off its mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisible!! The numbers continue to decline for WindowsNT but Wind
From the article:
As a final note of course, when we petitioned IANA, the IETF body regulating "official" internet protocol numbers, to give us numbers for CARP and pfsync our request was denied. Apparently we had failed to go through an official standards organization.
So why not try again through an official standards organisation then, rather than getting pissy about it?
Isn't that handy? Lets call it free, and include a bunch of non-free shit. Hey, and while we are at it, lets violate the licences of a bunch of non-free software so we can include it.
Try netbsd -current, and compare it to an older release of openbsd? Yeah, makes tons of sense. First of all, the performance improvements don't have any noticable effect on ordinary system use, so you are either stupid or a troll. The improvments were things like handling thousands of sockets. Second, try openbsd -current, where the same improvments exist.
YHBT YHL HAND
The OpenBSD |)orks finally realized that after 30+ remote exploints last year alone, no one takes them seriosly anyway.
"1 remote exploit in the default install in 7 years? Early DOS was more secure! It had no network drivers in the "default install". What's your point?
BSD is dead, and amongst, them OpenBSD is the deadest.
wide Open to attackers
That's why they call their software BSD = Braindead Software Distribution
Have they heard of Linux, or the fact that Novel will make SuSE the dominant platform on both servers and desktops in 12 months. IBM is poring $50M into Linux. Why waste your time on a dead dysfunctional BSD "OS"?
Theo could never write his own OS (like Linus), so he stole the sources for BSD, taking advantage of its very permissive license and rebranded it as his. Useless wannabe.
..that even the ghosts can't be bothered to come out at night.
Have you actually checked out what OpenBSD has been doing instead of blindly ranting about it? Go ahead and click the link http://www.openbsd.org/35.html
Notable additions (besides CARP)
BGP4 daemon, unmatched by any other free routing software
pfsync to share firewall states across multiple boxen (goes along with CARP)
amd64 support with on-chip W^X
Security improvements for malloc
Several more daemons run with privilege separation
Support for native AES instructions on some VIA C3 CPUs (accelerated crypto)
Far from being dead, several network equipment vendors are using OpenBSD as a platform for their software, such as SourceFire and nCircle.
The difference is that OpenBSD tries to be an OS for professionals and do things that replace commercial products from companies like Cisco. While the average home user doesn't give a crap (oooh, we want accelerated 3D!) many professionals do (BGP routing, HighAvailability firewalls, professional grade documentation, secure configuration by default, etc).
Oh and buy the way, SMP is actually in CVS and you can actually use it; it's just not part of the 3.5 release.
Someone is WRONG on the Internet!
shit another dead BSD page.
I ran across a really interesting BSD discussion site the other day. It's a lot better than the Slashdot BSD section, which as you all know is too full of trolls to be useful.
The site can be found here. Please take a look and give it a try.
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testy times two