Strangest Retro Videogame Plots Pondered

Thanks to TotalGames.net for its article discussing the oddest retro videogame plots of all-time. Among the highlighted titles are Sega's Genesis title, Greendog ("All you hafta do is find the six pieces of the Surfboard of the Ancients. They were hidden long ago by the Aztecs somewhere in the Caribbean"), along with Konami's N64 version of Mystical Ninja ("A giant UFO shaped like a peach has suddenly appeared in peaceful Oedo Town! The evil musical corps, The Peach Mountain Shoguns, have come to steal the Great Stage Plan.") What classic game made the least sense to you?

Comments

USA related plots

[Hermione Kestrel]

I like those CRAZY plots where the USA is DEFENDING justice and equality. I laugh my pants off at those ones.

Zero Wing!

[hookedup]

Cats: How are you gentlemen !!
Cats: All your base are belong to us.
Cats: You are on the way to destruction.
Captain: What you say !!
Cats: You have no chance to survive make yourtime.

It doesnt get any more confusing than zero wing. :)

Re:Zero Wing!

[PhotoBoy]

Yeah I was amazed that Zero Wing wasn't in that list. Then again maybe the story made perfect sense before it was translated.

I find the absense of "Ninja Golf" for the Atari 2600 quite surprising too, since it's about a Ninja who must pass the final test to become a true ninja: complete a round of golf on a golf course filled with sharks, snakes and other ninjas out to kill you...

And of course there's the grand-daddy of them all: Pacman, the obesity simulator that rewards you for eating lots. Plus it glamorises drug taking by encouraging you to eat ghosts while high. ;)

Bubsy

[B00yah]

You're a cat, the world is being attacked by aliens that can only hurt you if you touch them. Oh, and balls of yarn are your power source...

They can have him.

[RubiX^3]

"The president has been kidnapped by Ninjas. Are you a bad enough dude to save him?"

-Bad Dudes

My Vote:

[Ieshan]

You play this plumber, who's a semi-twin. The reason he's not a complete twin is because his brother wears different color pants. Anyway, you're off to rescue your girlfriend, and to do this, you realize that you'll only run in one direction. Ever. But you'll sometimes jump.

Jumping is important, because there are evil mushrooms trying to kill you. You can jump on them. And don't forget the walking turtles.

The sewer system is filled with these big plants that eat you, but don't worry, because some other plants give you the ability to shoot fireballs from your stomach. Fireballs rule. And if you manage to run into the pretty mushrooms, you grow really big. And the flashing stars make you invincible.

Did I mention that the guy who stole your girlfriend is a lizard and has constructed some 100 levels of very repetitive runway for you to run?

Yeah, but it was a fun game, right?

Re:PacMan

[Yorrike]

"Computer games don't affect kids; I mean if pac-man affected us as kids, we'd all be running around darkened rooms, munching magic pills and listening to repetitive electronic music." - Kristian Wilson, Nintendo, inc. 1989

Frogger

[TwistedGreen]

I could just never figure it out... Why on earth would a frog want to cross the road?

Re:Frogger

[Lars T.]

One word: Buckyballs.

Moonwalker

[Craig Maloney]

You are Michael Jackson. You must save the children from the clutches of Mr. Big. You can use your dancing abilities to destroy enemies, or grab your chimp "Bubbles" and turn into the ultimate fighting robot.