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The Only Way Microsoft Can Die is by Suicide

Bitseeker writes "Robert X. Cringley's latest article is online. He opens with: 'When I wrote last week about my conclusion that the legal system -- any legal system -- is unequipped to change Microsoft's monopolistic behavior, I had no idea that within 24 hours, Sun Microsystem would be throwing in the towel, trading its so-called principles for $1.95 billion in cash. So I guess I was right. Only now, a few thousand readers out there expect me to blithely produce an answer to the problem of what to do to bring Microsoft into the civilized world. Well, I say it can't be done.'"

21 of 1,002 comments (clear)

  1. hsdsafsdg by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    He's right. Nothing can be done. Lets all give up.

    1. Re:hsdsafsdg by hoyd · · Score: 3, Funny

      you mean, just start to use microsoft warez?

  2. The Only Way Microsoft Can Die is by Suicide by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    The Only Way Microsoft Can Die is by Suicide

    So is there anything we can do to help?

  3. well by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    I for one welcome our old microsoft overlords.

    afterall, can you imagine how difficult it would be to write 10 different versions of the same virus! agh! it would be horrible!

    1. Re:well by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny

      afterall, can you imagine how difficult it would be to write 10 different versions of the same virus! agh! it would be horrible!

      This is an example of how Microsoft is killing innovation. Without Microsoft we'd probably already have viruses that mutate freely between different operating systems. They've held back progress by decades!

  4. Re:Principles? by bgog · · Score: 2, Funny

    I'll trade... I'll trade.
    Of course it depends on which principles you mean. I wouldn't kill innocent people but hey I'll become a closed-source promotin, drm lovin, riaa employee for 2bil!

  5. Re:What about by a well-placed highly skilled snip by eclectro · · Score: 4, Funny

    What about by a well-placed highly skilled sniper?

    I say we take off and nuke the entire site from orbit. That's the only way to be sure.

    --
    Take the cheese to sickbay, the doctor should see it as soon as possible - B'Elanna Torres, "Learning Curve"
  6. The Only Way Microsoft Can Die is by Suicide by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    But the only way they can regain any honor is by seppuku.

  7. Re:Disagree, this assumes they fail playing catchu by PerpetualMotion · · Score: 2, Funny

    You just switched from software to hardware. Unless I am mistaken, MS has not jumped into the Hardware/Cellphone/Cable TV/Telephone/Blender/Kitchen Sink buisness.

    That's Walmart.

  8. Re:Principles? by ottawanker · · Score: 4, Funny

    Richard Stallman wouldn't.

    No, but I'm sure he'd sell them as long as the buyer promised to but GNU/ in front of them.

  9. Re:Wow by ElectricPoppy · · Score: 2, Funny
    What was the last really cool product Microsoft made?

    Microsoft Bob?

  10. Re:Principles? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    Maybe for other people, but for Microsoft it will still be only monopoly money.

  11. Re:Public Awareness by Paradise+Pete · · Score: 2, Funny
    The only reason windows is easy to use is because...

    Objection. Assumes facts not in evidence.
    Most of the people I know who use Windows only know to "Double-Click that picture there to get internet. If that doesn't work, try cursing at the computer." Then they call me and ask "What the F does [nearly useless error message] mean?? I think I have a virus."

  12. Mudslinging by mariox19 · · Score: 2, Funny
    McNealy should have watched "Godfather 3"...

    Why wish that on anybody?

    --

    quiquid id est, timeo puellas et oscula dantes.

  13. Re:Public Awareness by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    hmmm. ex-boyfriend eh?

    Come to daddy.

    (Knock on door)

    WTF I can be arrested for harassing on slashdot? Oh shit. Free me. Free me.

  14. Re:Public Awareness by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    The only reason windows is easy to use is because people are used to it, they've been trained to understand the feel of it and some of the logic behind how it works.

    You mean there's a logic behind the way Windows work!?

  15. Re:Why would we want Microsoft to die? by naelurec · · Score: 2, Funny

    I know I don't want Microsoft to die. Lets face it, reinstalling Windows, running spyware removers, virus scanners, "troubleshooting" and patching systems pays pretty good.

    I made the mistake of replacing some Windows servers with Linux about two years ago for some companies. What a mistake! After those systems were installed, I don't hear from them anymore. Well I'll take that back, there was a hardware failure that they let me fix, but to be perfectly honest with you, I am starting to feel like the maytag repair man (heck he probably gets more business than I do).

    stupid. stupid. stupid. stupid. stupid.

    I promote Windows because its easy! People accept it blindly, it pays better for me as there are more issues (and longer resolve times) and I get exercise going from machine to machine applying the same patches. Life is grand .. just don't tell them I don't personally use Microsoft, and all will be just fine.

  16. Re:Public Awareness by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    Ooohhh!!! a single girl on Slashdot! Quick lets do something! Someone say something to her!

  17. Suicide by Javagator · · Score: 2, Funny

    Redmond Washington (AP) - Bill Gates announced today that Microsoft was shutting down. "We just aren't good enough to be this dominant", said Gates. "So as a public service, we are voluntarily going out of business. We suggest that our customers switch to Linux." In other economic news, the unemployment rate for software engineers jumps, Apple increases prices 50%, and the U.S. trade deficit worsens.

  18. Re:Public Awareness by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    I think a previous slashdotter summed it up best...
    Is Linux good enough for your Mom?

    Somewhere in Linux-land, a phone rings....

    Hello? Oh, hi mom.

    Yeah, I can help you install a program on your computer. What do you want to install?

    Oh, cool. Have you downloaded it? Good job. OK, open up a terminal.... it's the command line interface, where you type commands.

    Where did you save the file? You don't remember? Hmm. Just type "cd". Now type "ls". Do you see the file name?

    Great! OK, type "tar -zxf "

    It didn't work? What does it say? OK. What is the name of the file you downloaded? Oh, well, that is a bzip file, not a tar and gzipped file. So type the same thing as before, but use "bzip2" instead of "tar".

    What? Why didn't it work? Oh, it doesn't have the same syntax. Crap. Go to the man page. Oh, man stands for manual. Type "man bzip2". What does it say?

    (20 minutes later)

    OK, now we have uncompressed the files you need. No, not yet. Type "./configure" No, it's OK, it is figuring out what kind of computer and software you have.

    OK, now type "make" OK, call me back when it is done.

    (15 minutes later)

    OK, now type "make install" What? Why not? What does it say? No, not that. Oh, wait, you have to be root. It is an administrator user. Because not just everyone can install programs, for security reasons. Look, just change to the admin user by typing "su". OK, now enter the root password. I DON'T KNOW! You mean you don't know your root password?

    (10 minutes later)

    Mom, you should NOT use the dog's name as the password. Because it is insecure! Nevermind. Just type "make install". There. Now it is installed.

    No, there is no icon, you have to type the name of program to run it. Type it. What? I don't know, what was the name of the binary after you compiled it? A binary file is a program you run. You compiled it when you typed "make". Hmm, let's look in the Makefile. Type "vi Makefile". What do you mean it is blank? Oh, wait. Use capital M. Type ":r Makefile" with a capital M.

    OK, now you are in vi, the most powerful editor ever. WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU PREFER EMACS!!!!

  19. that last sentence... by gd2shoe · · Score: 2, Funny

    ...Is what I think got him moded Insightful. (lol)

    --
    I won't join Slashcott. OTOH, If Beta goes live, I just won't be back until it's fixed. Sorry Dice.