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Pearl, a Robot for the Elderly
Roland Piquepaille writes "The world population is rapidly aging -- at least in developed countries. The number of seniors will explode in the next two decades. So researchers everywhere are trying to find new ways to help elderly people to continue to live at home. This is why a team from Carnegie Mellon, the University of Pittsburgh, University of Michigan and Stanford University has spent the last four years to design Pearl, a robot specifically designed to help old people. Pearl has a humanoid aspect and is 4-feet high. Still, don't rush to the store to buy one for your old folks. It costs more than $100,000 and is not entirely ready for mass production. This overview contains more details and references. It also includes two pictures of the -- quite cute -- Pearl."
Silly robot people. Everyone knows that its spelled "PERL"...
At 4 feet tall, how is it going to help get anything from a cabinet? My 5' tall mom has trouble doing that, With a step lader.
Fly me to the moon Let me sing among those stars Let me see what spring is like On jupiter and mars
Here is one of their commercials
Old Lady #1: When my ex-husband passed away, the insurance company said his policy didn't cover him.
Old Lady #2: They didn't have enough money for the funeral.
Old Lady #3: It's so hard nowadays, with all the gangs and rap music..
Old Lady #1: What about the robots?
Old Lady #4: Oh, they're everywhere!
Old Lady #1: I don't even know why the scientists make them.
Old Lady #2: Darren and I have a policy with Old Glory Insurance, in case we're attacked by robots.
Old Lady #1: An insurance policy with a robot plan? Certainly, I'm too old.
Old Lady #2: Old Glory covers anyone over the age of 50 against robot attack, regardless of current health.
[ cut to Sam Waterston, Compensated Endorser ]
Sam Waterson: I'm Sam Waterston, of the popular TV series "Law & Order". As a senior citizen, you're probably aware of the threat robots pose. Robots are everywhere, and they eat old people's medicine for fuel. Well, now there's a company that offers coverage against the unfortunate event of robot attack, with Old Glory Insurance. Old Glory will cover you with no health check-up or age consideration. [ SUPER: Limitied Benefits First Two Years ] You need to feel safe. And that's harder and harder to do nowadays, because robots may strike at any time. [ show pie chart reading "Cause of Death in Persons Over 50 Years of Age": Heart Disease, 42% - Robots, 58% ] And when they grab you with those metal claws, you can't break free.. because they're made of metal, and robots are strong. Now, for only $4 a month, you can achieve peace of mind in a world full of grime and robots, with Old Glory Insurance. So, don't cower under your afghan any longer. Make a choice. [ SUPER: "WARNING: Persons denying the existence of Robots may be Robots themselves. ] Old Glory Insurance. For when the metal ones decide to come for you - and they will.
"Trademarks are the heraldry of the new feudalism."
Jesus Christ!! That looks like my sister's old Teddy Ruxpin after it got beat to shit!! :O
Join the TWIT army now!
seniors will explode in the next two decades
Well, we'll save up on burial costs, but the clean up will be a bitch...
You can't take the sky from me...
The world's first 'gender challenged' robot? Seriously, that is just plain freaky. I'm sure your average 80 year old woman won't want that thing shuffling around in the dark.
"Excuse me Pearl, I have to go collect my pension, could you let me open the door please dear?"
"I'm sorry Gwyneth, I'm afraid I can't do that"
Mother, do you think they'll like this sig?
-nt-
Call on God, but row AWAY from the rocks!
from inlaid article:
Would it sense a stair to avoid a tragic fall?
Nope.
Can it bring a chair to relieve walking fatigue?
Uh, no.
What century is it going to be before futuristic versions of household help are actually in someone's home?
This one.
I would much rather help my mother out myself or hire in home help....not only is it much cheeper but at least she would be dealing with real people. Instead she'd be getting:
"Hell..o young madam how may i assist you?"
"quick get me a chair, a phone, a glass of water, anything to help me"
"Negative, i am unable to decrypt your off-topic request"
"god damnit your a helper-bot, what can you do?"
"i can dance, dance, dance if i want to" "and leave this world behind"
I pay this person almost $80,000 a year for this....
- John
Travolta? Cusak? Ashcroft?
Mother, do you think they'll like this sig?
Because we need to protect Grandma from the terrible secret of space. When she goes down the stairs, she will be protected.
N4st0r, trixx0r h0bb1tz0rz! Th3y st0l3 0ur pr3c10uzz!
answer: items pushed - grandmother
target - stairs
it was that i did
pak chooie
Connor!
why? It's not like people are going to start having sex....oh, um. nevermind.
I for one welcome our robot overlords!
They're called geriatric concentration camps. They give me the creeps.
--Rob
Towards the Singularity.
>> The number of seniors will
>> explode in the next two decades
Did anyone else read this as, "a number of seniors will explode in the next two decades"?
This post written under Gentoo-linux with an SCO IP license.
"Valerie, the domestic android is a better deal.
http://www.androidworld.com/prod19.htm
It will be capable of washing dishes etc, and will cost only $59000."
This will be the best prom ever!!
"Derp de derp."
Old Lady #1: When my ex-husband passed away, the insurance company said his policy didn't cover him.
Old Lady #2: They didn't have enough money for the funeral.
Old Lady #3: It's so hard nowadays, with all the gangs and rap music..
Old Lady #1: What about the robots?
Old Lady #4: Oh, they're everywhere!
Old Lady #1: I don't even know why the scientists make them.
Old Lady #2: Darren and I have a policy with Old Glory Insurance, in case we're attacked by robots.
Old Lady #1: An insurance policy with a robot plan? Certainly, I'm too old.
Old Lady #2: Old Glory covers anyone over the age of 50 against robot attack, regardless of current health.
[ cut to Sam Waterston, Compensated Endorser ]
Sam Waterson: I'm Sam Waterston, of the popular TV series "Law & Order". As a senior citizen, you're probably aware of the threat robots pose. Robots are everywhere, and they eat old people's medicine for fuel. Well, now there's a company that offers coverage against the unfortunate event of robot attack, with Old Glory Insurance. Old Glory will cover you with no health check-up or age consideration.
[ SUPER: Limitied Benefits First Two Years ]
You need to feel safe. And that's harder and harder to do nowadays, because robots may strike at any time.
[ show pie chart reading "Cause of Death in Persons Over 50 Years of Age": Heart Disease, 42% - Robots, 58% ]
And when they grab you with those metal claws, you can't break free.. because they're made of metal, and robots are strong. Now, for only $4 a month, you can achieve peace of mind in a world full of grime and robots, with Old Glory Insurance. So, don't cower under your afghan any longer. Make a choice.
[ SUPER: "WARNING: Persons denying the existence of Robots may be Robots themselves. ]
Old Glory Insurance. For when the metal ones decide to come for you - and they will.
Does Pearl, a robot specifically designed to help old people, run Perl, a language specifically designed to help old people think they have already lost their minds?
Sincerely,
Pan Tarhei Hosé, PhD.
"Homo sum et cogito ergo odi profanum vulgus et libido."
It's retractable electroshock probe.
Didn't you watch star wars?
___
It's the end of my comment as I know it and I feel fine.
"The world population is rapidly aging"
I think each person ages at an average rate of 1 year per year...so yes, technically, that is true.
"Excuse me, did you say 'Trekker'? The word is 'Trekkie.' I should know; I created them." -- Gene Roddenberry
Pearl will protect you... from the terrible secret of space?
At what point do we up the retirement age? These lazy fuckers only end up working 65 years. If you're going to live till you're 95 years old, you'd damn well better be able to take care of yourself. I'm not paying for a bunch of lazy, shit & piss factories to play golf and fall down the stairs breaking hips and whatnot.
Note: I plan to die young, and not put this burden on the public at large. Someone pass me another bottle of whiskey, eh?
Operator: How may I assist you today?
Grandma: I think my robot went insane.
Operator: What do you mean?
Pearl: @!#$ *&!@% ^#@% generic v,iagr4!
Operator: Was that Pearl?!
Grandma: Yes, and she's been doing this for a week. At first, it wasn't so bad, but it's been happening more and more often. And some of the things she says... well... they're horrible!
Pearl: More @#!$ pr0n for you!!
Operator: My goodness! OK, let's see, have you made any changes to her settings lately?
Grandma: Well... I did turn the reading thing on.
Operator: Reading thing?
Grandma: Yes, you know, it reads my e-mail to me... It was so nice, it told me all about this sweepstakes thingy...
Pearl: Refinance your @&*$ now!!! Low rates 4 U...
Since they can hardly take care of themselves, I hired almost-full time help to take care of them. I pay this person almost $80,000 a year for this.
I'm from India, I will happily do it for $40,000, are you hiring ? :-P
- mritunjai
"The world population is rapidly aging -- at least in developed countries. ..." [Emphasis mine]
I guess developing countries can't afford the laws of physics like the rest of the world where everyone else ages at the same rate due to the steady flow of time?
The next remark is false. The previous remark is true.