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Implant a Chip in Your Head
vic_1066 writes "Brain chips sound pretty Orwellian, but the tech has come a long way (Soul eating registration required) in the past few years. Not that I'll be signing up anytime soon to get my head sliced open just for kicks, but if I was massively paralyzed this would be welcome news.
If you get a chance, check out Cyberkinetics Inc."
Is it possible to do some mnemonic shit with this tech? ;)
I would really like to regain some of my toked away memory
The system had the verbosity of HTML combined with all the readability of compiled assembly viewed as bitmap images
Implant a Chip in Your Head
Does it act as a co-processor to the one the government puts in our heads at birth?
Don't laugh!: Using your index and middle finger feel your skull at the base where your spinal column meets your skull. Notice that little bump? Now with your middle finger pressed firmly on the bump rub it with your index finger across the bottom near your top vertebra.
Feel that hard thing move? Of course not, but I'll bet there are hundreds of geeks like you pressing two fingers against their skull at this very moment.
Trolling is a art,
but the tech has come a long way (Soul eating registration required) in the past few years. Not that I'll be signing up anytime soon
That's right, it's just disgraceful. I'll never ever sign up to get NY Time account...
"A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of" - Ogden Nash
Now you can implant your child with the new profanity sensing V-chip. Yes, you child can grow up happy, healty, and wholesome thanks to this new technology. The V-Chip is implanted directly into your childs brain and will emit a tiny negative reinforcement whenever your child attempts to utter an obscenity, disobey, or otherwise act like a child of his or her age.
Also for adults, the Viagra-Chip, and for Politicians, the VAccountablility chip. Working with Pfiser, the Viagra-Chip, when implanted in the adult brain, will stimulate sexual desire and promote long term erections, overcoming such things as headaches, modesty, impotence and other debilitating male problems.
The Politican version will emit a tiny negative reinforcement every time a politican attempts to lie to the public, or attempts to promote or approve of a policy in which he or she will do everything possible to avoid accountability.
Coming soon, built in GPS, public registration numbers, ATM and bank account numbers, and even a full, updated copy of your credit history. Now all you need to do is wave a wand over your head to get instant loan approval!
(The U.S. Governemt endorses the GPS/ID enabled V-Chip implant, but swears to God that they will not use it to track, monitor, or otherwise ride herd on any U.S. Citizen. They really mean it. The promise! Cross their hearts and hope to die.)
"Our funds have never taken part in toxic or death spiral convertible financings of any sort" -BayStar's managing partne
I'd get one implanted, but it sort of defeats the purpose of wearing a tinfoil helmet.
Don't blame Durga. I voted for Centauri.
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"A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of" - Ogden Nash
Maybe this will put viagra out of business. Oops, wrong head.
I hope my brain can finally play imported and backed up games.
Where does the school board find them and why do they keep sending them to ME?
Until we've solved the problem of spam, I'm not getting any kind of hardware/software combination implanted anywhere in my body. (This includes penile implants. Yes, I'm talking to you Mr Spammer.)
Follow the CyberKinetics link above: they've already implanted chips in monkeys and taught them to play video games with brainwaves alone.
But were they able to win Quake III levels at nightmare setting, and take out all the terrorists in Counterstrike?
How many GBs of porn can it store? >:D
And getting "miscast as someone with too much information in his head."
Or, if they have a chip, remotely hack it so _you_ look like the partner of their dreams.
Of course, Alcohol is the slightly lower tech version...But it still works.
'Don't worry' said the trees when they saw the axe coming, 'The handle is one of us.'
Wait until people get bluetooth type radio chips in their head for the purpose of telepathy, then the spammers will be sending messages straight to your brain!
The voices in my head told me to get a bigger penis!
to the phrase "Having a chip on your shoulder".
I know this is going to start a huge discussion of religion in general, but if I can save one person's soul, it's worth it.
Read Revelation 13 and 14. Take your time - this is one of the most obscure bits of the Bible that is very hard to relate to real life.
Note what happens at 13:16 - financial transactions are now dependent on some sort of mark (implant?) on the right hand or forehead.
Skip forward to 14:9, and see what the third angel says. Anyone who takes the mark is out of reach of the salvation through Jesus that all those pesky evangelicals keep trying to push on you. That is your only bridge to eternal life in paradise burned.
Think about it when the time comes. I know that this particular article is about helping paralysis, and that's great. Just be aware of the danger. Imagine one of those annoying "Are you sure?" dialog boxes.
Note to moderators: I'd suggest "Troll", "Off-Topic" or "Flamebait", but the Great Commission compels me to write this...
Ydco co
They hope to start trials in 2004 and you can sign up at sales@cyberkineticsinc.com. Unfortunately, the software runs only on Windows, so you would run the risk of your brain getting hacked.
I know a dude named Cartman that they already did this to. it is completely safe, just don't cuss at fluffy kitty.
boycott slashdot February 10th - 17th check out: altSlashdot.org
Only if you also install that mod chip which disables DRM. It's a good idea anyway, since it also allows you to remember details of that song you heared yesterday, as well as if you really liked it. Now if I only could remember where you could get that chip ... and what it was for ... ah, yes, got it again, it's the new Trusted Thinking chip which protects your brain from spam and other evil information, and you can get it directly from ... what do you mean, you're not interested in that? Didn't you just ask ... mod chip? What's that?
The Tao of math: The numbers you can count are not the real numbers.
Forget datajacks; I want cybereyes, a smartlink, bone lacing, and wired reflexes. I'll be the baddest street sam in Seattle. No, really. CP 2020 and Shadowrun are starting to look less and less like games.
If the US Department of Defense incorporates and starts handing out business cards, or kids start getting born with pointy ears, I'm moving to New Zealand.
-Carolyn
Like Daddy always said: if you can't dazzle 'em with brilliance, baffle 'em with bullshit.
I'm still waiting for my Google implant.
Then I'll kick some serious butt on Jeopardy.