Implant a Chip in Your Head

vic_1066 writes "Brain chips sound pretty Orwellian, but the tech has come a long way (Soul eating registration required) in the past few years. Not that I'll be signing up anytime soon to get my head sliced open just for kicks, but if I was massively paralyzed this would be welcome news. If you get a chance, check out Cyberkinetics Inc."

Comments

Mnemonic?

[Orgazmus]

Is it possible to do some mnemonic shit with this tech?
I would really like to regain some of my toked away memory ;)

Already have one, we all do.

[grub]

Implant a Chip in Your Head

Does it act as a co-processor to the one the government puts in our heads at birth?

Don't laugh!: Using your index and middle finger feel your skull at the base where your spinal column meets your skull. Notice that little bump? Now with your middle finger pressed firmly on the bump rub it with your index finger across the bottom near your top vertebra.

Feel that hard thing move? Of course not, but I'll bet there are hundreds of geeks like you pressing two fingers against their skull at this very moment. :)

Me neither

[Rosco P. Coltrane]

but the tech has come a long way (Soul eating registration required) in the past few years. Not that I'll be signing up anytime soon

That's right, it's just disgraceful. I'll never ever sign up to get NY Time account...

the implantable V-chip

[emtboy9]

Now you can implant your child with the new profanity sensing V-chip. Yes, you child can grow up happy, healty, and wholesome thanks to this new technology. The V-Chip is implanted directly into your childs brain and will emit a tiny negative reinforcement whenever your child attempts to utter an obscenity, disobey, or otherwise act like a child of his or her age.

Also for adults, the Viagra-Chip, and for Politicians, the VAccountablility chip. Working with Pfiser, the Viagra-Chip, when implanted in the adult brain, will stimulate sexual desire and promote long term erections, overcoming such things as headaches, modesty, impotence and other debilitating male problems.

The Politican version will emit a tiny negative reinforcement every time a politican attempts to lie to the public, or attempts to promote or approve of a policy in which he or she will do everything possible to avoid accountability.

Coming soon, built in GPS, public registration numbers, ATM and bank account numbers, and even a full, updated copy of your credit history. Now all you need to do is wave a wand over your head to get instant loan approval!

(The U.S. Governemt endorses the GPS/ID enabled V-Chip implant, but swears to God that they will not use it to track, monitor, or otherwise ride herd on any U.S. Citizen. They really mean it. The promise! Cross their hearts and hope to die.)

Brain implants are very useful!

[Rosco P. Coltrane]

I
personally
had my +
HP
8
6
*
implanted
EVAL
"and I"
feel
just
fine
PRG
STO A

Now I'm interested in one thing...

[francium de neobie]

How many GBs of porn can it store? >:D

You'll wind up acting like Keanu Reeves

[Anonymous Coward]

In Johnny Mnemonic.

And getting "miscast as someone with too much information in his head."

Welcome to the shadows, chummer

[Unknown Kadath]

Forget datajacks; I want cybereyes, a smartlink, bone lacing, and wired reflexes. I'll be the baddest street sam in Seattle. No, really. CP 2020 and Shadowrun are starting to look less and less like games.

If the US Department of Defense incorporates and starts handing out business cards, or kids start getting born with pointy ears, I'm moving to New Zealand.

-Carolyn

Holding out

[RulesLawyer]

I'm still waiting for my Google implant.

Then I'll kick some serious butt on Jeopardy.