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Earthlings: Ugly Bags of Mostly Water

darthcamaro writes "Earthlings Ugly Bags of Mostly Water is the name of a new documentary film - starring Worf (aka Michael Dorn)about Klingon language and culture. They've got a weird website too. 'Earthlings: Ugly Bags of Mostly Water' captures the lives, passions and quirks of the members of the Klingon Language Institute during their annual qep'a' (conference). The film's producers issued a press release about it today with some interesting quotes... 'The perspective of Michael Dorn, the world's most recognized Klingon, provides both serious and comedic elements to the project,' said Earthlings Director Alexandre Philippe. 'This is a man who embodies all the elements of a Klingon warrior: honor, respect, ferocity. For years, Klingon fans have looked to the Worf character for their education in Klingon culture.' Quaplah! /. !!"

19 of 332 comments (clear)

  1. HK-47? by Liselle · · Score: 5, Funny
    Earthlings: Ugly Bags of Mostly Water
    Statement: This documentary needed to be made. I still don't understand how the meatbags stand living. The sloshing sounds would drive me insane.
    Aside: Michael Dorn is not bad for a meatbag, though clearly a droid would make a superior host .
    Resigned: *sigh* If only my assassination protocol were still functional.
    Appeasement: Maybe they will make a sequel.

    Oh HK-47, what WOULD we do without you?
    --
    Auto-reply to ACs: "Truly, you have a dizzying intellect."
  2. They're serious, aren't they? by jrj102 · · Score: 4, Funny

    Look... I'm a star trek fan and everything, but there's a limit. Seriously. Outside. Sunlight.

    1. Re:They're serious, aren't they? by dr_dank · · Score: 5, Funny

      Oh, you and your silly stories of the "daystar". Warp speed, Mr. Sulu!

      --
      Where does the school board find them and why do they keep sending them to ME?
  3. Earthlings: Ugly Bags of Mostly Water by ForestGrump · · Score: 5, Funny

    Hey!
    I'm a pretty bag...its just that i'm filled with "ugly water" because of modern industry.

    -Grump

    --
    Is it true that more people vote for the winner of American Idol, than vote for the president? -Ali G.
  4. Does anyone have the Klingon translation... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

    ...for "Mom, please come and pick me up."

  5. I use that term by Slowtreme · · Score: 4, Funny

    I say "Ugly bags of mosty water" all the time to refer to some of the larger people at work. I once tried to explain the Star Trek episode it came from, but it was entirely too geeky for me to finish. In the end I just shrugged and said, "I dunno, something I read on Slashdot"

    --
    Post: Sigged, for your pleasure.
  6. However by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    They provide excellent reasons for forced sterilization.

    Then again being able to speak Klingon pretty much does this without surgery.

    1. Re:However by shigelojoe · · Score: 5, Funny

      You know, I've always wondered; do really nerdy Klingons learn English?

  7. Shakespeare by dr_dank · · Score: 5, Funny

    the translation of Hamlet into Klingon might be a disservice to the complexity of the author's intention

    Like hell. If Hamlet were to be beheaded by Kahless, I might have paid more attention in English class.

    --
    Where does the school board find them and why do they keep sending them to ME?
  8. Oh yeah. by radiumhahn · · Score: 4, Funny

    Oh Yeah... what's the kilngon word for loneliness...oh yes... GARRHHHHDOCK.

  9. Hrmmm by Gogl · · Score: 4, Funny

    Reminds me of this hilarious Daily Show sketch (Realplayer, which sucks but oh well). The fact that they have almost every sketch from the past four years up on comedycentral.com has almost entirely destroyed my work ethic over the past few weeks...

  10. Re:Starting to understand by D-Cypell · · Score: 4, Funny

    Having been in this situation myself I can give you a little tip, which is especially useful when refering to earlier seasons of TNG.. ...comes from the Next Generation episode where... *notices violent look in buddies eyes*... Marina Sirtis was hanging right out of the that skin tight uniform... YEAH!!!

    Infact, I believe they are teaching this technique at the academy now. Its know as the mammory defense ;o)

  11. Re:Makes you wonder... by anagama · · Score: 5, Funny
    • What percentage of water are Klingons?

    Typically, more than 99% of water is water, the remaining 1% or less being minerals, salts, or pollutants (note - this is a made up statstic, no researchers were disturbed in the making up of this number). However, I have heard of no reports of water being comprised of Kilngons, so it is probably safe to say that 0% of water is made up of Klingons.

    Perhaps you were more interested in knowing what percentage of the Klingon body is comprised of water. The answer to that question is, sadly, more difficult to obtain.
    --
    What changed under Obama? Nothing Good
  12. Answer: NaN by jared_hanson · · Score: 4, Funny

    The answer is "not a number." Now, for all you who actually cared, lean in closely, I'm going to tell you how I came to this conclusion: KLINGONS ARE NOT FUCKING REAL!

    --
    -- Fighting mediocrity one bad post at a time.
  13. Re:Ahead geek factor 6 by AndroidCat · · Score: 4, Funny
    does "Get A Life" mean anything to these folks...?

    Yes, but you have to say it in Klingon.

    --
    One line blog. I hear that they're called Twitters now.
  14. Re:No by Reducer2001 · · Score: 5, Funny

    I don't think Neil Armstrong speaks Klingon.

    --
    When you get to hell -- tell 'em Itchy sent ya!
  15. Re:Ahead geek factor 6 by Sporkinum · · Score: 4, Funny

    get a life
    klingon version:
    ------------
    tlhap [a] yIn
    ------------

    Universal Translator Assistant 2.3
    Joel Peter Anderson, June 16, 1999
    Visit the UTA Project at
    http://members.aol.com/jpklingon/uta

    --
    "He's lost in a 'floyd hole"
  16. Re:Utterly intolerable by painandgreed · · Score: 4, Funny

    And besides, if Klingons are so great, why doesn't speaking their language get you laid?!?!? You try saying "ghu neH Ha' lItHa'?" to some chick and see what happens.

    You've obviously never been to a con.

    It's not that speaking Klingon can't get you laid but whether you want to get laid by the women that it will work on.

  17. Re:Scary by DarkHelmet · · Score: 4, Funny
    This reminds me of Futurama:

    Uhura: By the 23rd century, Star Trek fandom had evolved from a loose association of nerds with skin problems into a full blown religion.

    Preacher: And Scotty beamed them to the Klingon ship, where there would be no tribble at all

    Followers: All power to the engines!

    Uhura: As country after country fell after its influenced, world leaders became threatened by the movement's power. So the trekkies were executed in the most befitting: virgins:

    Trekkie: Bwaaaaaah!
    Executor: He's dead Jim.
    Trekkie: Bwaaaaaah!
    Executor: He's dead Jim.

    --
    /^[A-Z0-9._%+-]+@[A-Z0-9.-]+\.[A-Z]{2,4}$/i