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Koalas Gone Wild
Mabon writes "CNN reports that 30,000 of the starving animals are destroying the ecosystem by stripping away the greenery. The Austrailian government proposes shooting some 20,000 of them to reduce the amount of gum trees used by the animals."
They only eat one type of food, you know and that is a poor adapation imho. I bet they taste like it too, icky. Unless you want your meat to taste like an herbal cough drop.
An Education is the Font of All Liberty
Those aren't koalas, they're drop bears!
A drop bear is an animal similar to a koala, but slightly larger, with sharper claws and teeth adapted for eating meat. The primary food of the drop bear is other animals, however, they have been known to go after humans, particularly overseas tourists. Their name derives from their means of hunting: they lurk in trees, and drop down on their unsuspecting victims.
"They redundantly repeated themselves over and over again incessantly without end ad infinitum" -- ibid.
Most Australians do not like Koalas much. (see my other post on this subject). They put up with them because stupid tourists pay a lot of money to be peed on.
Also, it's fun to go to a tourist trap, stand around the bottom of a tree and point up at it and walk away once the crowd gathers. Couldn't do that if the Koalas were all dead now, could we?
Condoms?
It's better to be the foot on the boot than the face on the pavement. ~~ tkx Kadin2048
No, animals were harmed in the making of this post.
If you kill them without damaging their lovely coats you could remove the insides and stuff them with something safe so they can be sold to children as cuddly toys. Hmmm...you'd probably have to replace the eyes too. Can't wait to see them in stores!
Doesn't it make you feel good to know that our freedoms are protected by politicans, lawyers and journalists.
Ok so add an intermediate step.
;).
Capture, Stuff, and then sell them
Seriously though what do you do with 20000 dead or unwanted Koalas, at least lets get some use out of them. Something better than fertilizer hopefully.
"He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep in order to gain what he cannot lose."
Forget pets, I bet they would make nice, soft, fuzzy slippers.
You're assuming that we would buy a pet koala to give to people we like. From your description, I know what a lot of the people I work with are getting for Christmas.
They sleep 14 hours a day, they are grouchy, irritable and they stink.
They have two defense mechanisms: Peeing on things and exceedingly long, tough claws.
They view many things, including being held as threatening and they are not afraid to use both defense mechanisms on short notice.
There are a band of lunatics that enjoy being subjected to this kind of behavior. We call them "cat lovers".
May we never see th
I for one am really disappointed in the Slashdot editors. You'd think that if they were to tempt us with "Koalas Gone Wild" they would at least mention some of their spring break and Mardi Gras antics.
Slashdot "libertarians": Small government for me, big government for those I disagree with. -1, I disagree with you
There was a Koala bear that decided he was tired of the boring life in Australia, and decided he would go to NYC.
On his first day there, he picked up a lady of the evening.
When he was finished he stood up and went for the door. The hooker said, "excuse me but aren't you forgetting something?", and he replied, "I don't 'think so".
The hooker grabs a dictionary and looks up the word 'hooker' and shows it to him. 'Hooker = A lady who has sex for money.'
"Really", he said, and proceeded to look up 'Koala Bear' in the dictionary to show her:
'Koala: An Australian marsupial that eats bushes, shoots, and leaves.'
Still, having a pet koala would be an increadible chick magnet. It's a great item to get a coversation rolling and a great opportunity to invite them back to your place. What girl can resist a chance to cuddle a live teddybear?
As for the claws, those can always be clipped.
As for the peeing, that just means he likes you! And remember guys, if you toss her clothes in your washing machine that means she isn't wearing them!
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- - You can't take something off the Internet! That's like trying to take pee out of a swimming pool.
Oh man, just start a rumor that Koala meat is a delicacy and a powerful aphrodisiac (like shark fin, powdered tiger penis, etc) in Japan and sell them for $1,300 a kilo in Tokyo. No better way to clean out an entire species than to get Nippon thinking that it is a delicacy or a powerful aphrodisiac.
BTW - no joke. Look at the poor sharks, blubber whales, tigers, etc. The trick isn't getting them to start, it is getting them to stop.
Glonoinha the MebiByte Slayer