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Koalas Gone Wild
Mabon writes "CNN reports that 30,000 of the starving animals are destroying the ecosystem by stripping away the greenery. The Austrailian government proposes shooting some 20,000 of them to reduce the amount of gum trees used by the animals."
That CNN article is the most useless one I've read in ages. It fails to provide any of the following information:
1) How would nature control population growth in koalas?
2) Have we in some way removed that control and can it be re-introduced.
All the article talks about is why we should or should not shoot them. There is no indication whatsoever that anybody cares why the koalas are overpopulated (and no, a quick blurb about urbanization doesn't count).
Personally its not God I dislike, its his fan club I cant stand (bash.org)
They only eat one type of food, you know and that is a poor adapation imho. I bet they taste like it too, icky. Unless you want your meat to taste like an herbal cough drop.
An Education is the Font of All Liberty
Those aren't koalas, they're drop bears!
A drop bear is an animal similar to a koala, but slightly larger, with sharper claws and teeth adapted for eating meat. The primary food of the drop bear is other animals, however, they have been known to go after humans, particularly overseas tourists. Their name derives from their means of hunting: they lurk in trees, and drop down on their unsuspecting victims.
"They redundantly repeated themselves over and over again incessantly without end ad infinitum" -- ibid.
They sleep 14 hours a day, they are grouchy, irritable and they stink.
They have two defense mechanisms: Peeing on things and exceedingly long, tough claws.
They view many things, including being held as threatening and they are not afraid to use both defense mechanisms on short notice.
Koalas are one of the worst pets you could possibly have.
No, animals were harmed in the making of this post.
If you kill them without damaging their lovely coats you could remove the insides and stuff them with something safe so they can be sold to children as cuddly toys. Hmmm...you'd probably have to replace the eyes too. Can't wait to see them in stores!
Doesn't it make you feel good to know that our freedoms are protected by politicans, lawyers and journalists.
This is happening on Kangaraoo island, off the coast of south australia.
Koalas were introduced here by humans in the 1920's.
They are not a natural part of the ecosystem.
Ok so add an intermediate step.
;).
Capture, Stuff, and then sell them
Seriously though what do you do with 20000 dead or unwanted Koalas, at least lets get some use out of them. Something better than fertilizer hopefully.
"He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep in order to gain what he cannot lose."
Forget pets, I bet they would make nice, soft, fuzzy slippers.
You're assuming that we would buy a pet koala to give to people we like. From your description, I know what a lot of the people I work with are getting for Christmas.
This story is something I've been keeping track of for the past ten years or so, because I actually used to live on Kangaroo Island (lovely place, don't miss it if you're visiting South Australia).
As mentioned above, the koalas were introduced to KI early last century, and thus have nothing to regulate their population growth as they do on the mainland.
The problem was first brought up about a decade ago, when scientists studying the koalas noticed how large the population was getting, and predicted they'd start stripping their own food sources in a few years. Around that time, the idea of a cull by professional shooters was quietly raised, discussed, and concluded by various intelligent folk to be a good idea.
Then some idiot journalist got hold of it, and beat up a huge story: "They're planning to shoot hundreds of our cute, cuddly national icons!!!"
After the media stink from that, the fucking State Government stated that they would ban the shooting of the koalas. Like it was something to do with them.
Anyway, to show they were doing something about the koala overpopulation problem, they instituted a capture and sterilization program. Yes, they thought they'd stop all those naughty koalas breeding, but leave them in place. Aside from the lifespan of a koala being such that they're still going to destroy their habitat, it's being completely ineffectively implimented.
It takes about two to four man-hours to find and capture one koala. Sterilizing them is another half hour to hour operation, and then they've got to be kept in a cage for a day or so...
I know one of the two (yes, two) vets working on this, and he's got no illusions that it's anything more than a political sop to the idiot majority who can't bear the thought of shooting those cute little animals.
The fact that the notion of culling them has now arisen again shows just how effective this program has been.
And do you know what? The local media are still running with the same fucking slant!!
"They're going to shoot all these cute little koala bears, how awful!"
I think 30,000 koalas starving to death would be a damn sight worse, and far crueler. I'm in favour of the cull.
Oh, and before you ask, we can't really ship them anywhere else. Unless you know somewhere that's able to accomodate 20,000 koalas on short notice, and have a few million dollars to implement the move.
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Here be Dragons
Seriously--if you have to kill them anyway, why waste all that meat? Besides there's plenty of carnivores like me who'd be interested in trying them out for no other reason than culinary curiosity. Other places have taken similar steps: Lousiana has a problem with damage done by nutria (think sorta like a muskrat) that was once prized as a furbearer but now is regarded as an invasive species and as a nuisance. The solution provided by the website: "The Coastwide Nutria Control Program, paired with the promotion of nutria meat as a high-protein, low-fat food source, is the main hope for Louisiana's coast." Yum.
They sleep 14 hours a day, they are grouchy, irritable and they stink.
They have two defense mechanisms: Peeing on things and exceedingly long, tough claws.
They view many things, including being held as threatening and they are not afraid to use both defense mechanisms on short notice.
There are a band of lunatics that enjoy being subjected to this kind of behavior. We call them "cat lovers".
May we never see th
I for one am really disappointed in the Slashdot editors. You'd think that if they were to tempt us with "Koalas Gone Wild" they would at least mention some of their spring break and Mardi Gras antics.
Slashdot "libertarians": Small government for me, big government for those I disagree with. -1, I disagree with you
There was a Koala bear that decided he was tired of the boring life in Australia, and decided he would go to NYC.
On his first day there, he picked up a lady of the evening.
When he was finished he stood up and went for the door. The hooker said, "excuse me but aren't you forgetting something?", and he replied, "I don't 'think so".
The hooker grabs a dictionary and looks up the word 'hooker' and shows it to him. 'Hooker = A lady who has sex for money.'
"Really", he said, and proceeded to look up 'Koala Bear' in the dictionary to show her:
'Koala: An Australian marsupial that eats bushes, shoots, and leaves.'
Still, having a pet koala would be an increadible chick magnet. It's a great item to get a coversation rolling and a great opportunity to invite them back to your place. What girl can resist a chance to cuddle a live teddybear?
As for the claws, those can always be clipped.
As for the peeing, that just means he likes you! And remember guys, if you toss her clothes in your washing machine that means she isn't wearing them!
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- - You can't take something off the Internet! That's like trying to take pee out of a swimming pool.
Oh man, just start a rumor that Koala meat is a delicacy and a powerful aphrodisiac (like shark fin, powdered tiger penis, etc) in Japan and sell them for $1,300 a kilo in Tokyo. No better way to clean out an entire species than to get Nippon thinking that it is a delicacy or a powerful aphrodisiac.
BTW - no joke. Look at the poor sharks, blubber whales, tigers, etc. The trick isn't getting them to start, it is getting them to stop.
Glonoinha the MebiByte Slayer