Project Grizzly Bear-Proof Suit Up For Auction

Ch_Omega writes "The Project Grizzly suit, The 'Ursus Mark VI', a 'grizzly-proof' suit of armour', was mentioned on Slashdot a few years ago. For all of you who then wished for such a suit (for wrestling with Grizzly Bears?), both the original Mark VI and the improved Mark VII (featuring 'a built-in video screen, a cooling system, pressure-bearing titanium struts, protective airbags, shock absorbers, a robotic third arm, built-in regular arms and swivel shoulders') are now for sale on eBay!"

Comments

Hrm...

[raehl]

Think it has enough heat sinks to support jump jets?

Coincidence?

[grub]

What a coincidence! Just last night I was having dinner when I though to myself "Self... your life would improve immeasurably if only you had something you could take on a grizzly bear in."

Mech

[Thanatopsis]

If it was a 40 Ton mech I might consider bidding. As it is, it looks like a 300 lb walking sauna.

Re:Mech

[Stone Rhino]

No, he means a point. Battle Armor points are made up of 5 suits, aerospace points are made up of two (lead and wingman), and only BattleMech points are made up of individual vehicles. A star would be 25 suits. A point is considered a single combat unit, so it's not dishonorable for one to gang up on a 'mech and take it down, which they are very capable of doing.

It looks like something from Unreal Tournament.

[Faust7]

I love the description of the Black Box:

"Voice-activated recording device... to record bear sounds, or, in the event of a catastrophic failure of the Ursus Mark VI, last words."

I can't think they'd ever get many last words besides "AAAAAAGH!"

Re:It looks like something from Unreal Tournament.

[The Ultimate Fartkno]

> in the event of a catastrophic failure

What separates a catastrophic failure from a regular failure when you're talking about this suit? I suppose it's the *speed* at which you're eaten by the bear.

Re:It looks like something from Unreal Tournament.

[PetoskeyGuy]

I can't think they'd ever get many last words besides "AAAAAAGH!"

I wonder if they would have time to carve that on the inside of the suit...

Simpsons...

[j0hnfr0g]

I holding out for the one that Homer made.

it also repels women

[victor_the_cleaner]

In addition to protecting you from attacking bears, it will also protect you from getting laid.

Re:it also repels women

[Tablizer]

In addition to protecting you from attacking bears, it will also protect you from getting laid.

At least you are for sure guarenteed not to get laid by a bear.

buttocks

[maxbang]

Does this suit leave my buttocks exposed? Because I need the freedom of movement. Bowel movement, that is.

Sweet.

[American AC in Paris]

The Mark VII: just the thing for all those geeks who can't quite work up the nerve to ask Samus Aran out on a date.

Money back...

[silverhalide]

I guess he doesn't have to worry about people asking for their money back if it doesn't work right...

Re:Well then....

[GreyyGuy]

Yes, because bears are well known for their strategic thinking and willingness to accept a siege mentality... ;)

up-and-coming industry?

[mabu]

The seller's ebay ID is "bearsuits2" - I guess he's not the only one in the lucrative bear suit marketplace.

Re:up-and-coming industry?

[tgd]

Bet you a dollar the first one was for something kinky.

"out of Hurtubise's mind"

[mccrew]

The suits are unique because they were built totally out of Hurtubise's mind, with no blueprints, drawings or schematics.

I'll second the "out of Hurtubise's mind" part.

More like Montgomery Burns last words in...

[mykepredko]

the Second "Treehouse of Horror".

Bones Crushed... Organs leaking vital fluids... Loss of Appetite...

Or, my favourite:

It's so simple, I don't know why nobody has seen this before. The solution to Fermat's Last Theorem is....Gak

myke

Great advice...

[turnstyle]

I was in Alaska a number of years ago, and my favorite bit of advice from a camping guide:

dont sleep in the clothes that you cook in

Re:Great advice...

[JesseL]

My favorite advice for people in bear country:
If you're going to carry a handgun for bear defense, have the front sight removed.

It won't hurt as much when the bear shoves it up you ass.

Re:Great advice...

[JesseL]

There's a big difference between the requirements for an offensive weapon and a defensive one.

With an offensive weapon you have much greater control over the dynamics of your encounter. You choose the the place and the time to make your shot. You get to aim more carfully at the bears vital areas. If it doesn't look like a good shot you don't take it.

In defensive situtations it's totally different. The shit has already hit the fan. The bear is coming for you and you need to stop him ASAP. You don't have time to line up the perfect shot. You need a firearm you can point in a hurry and that hits with real authority. A .454 casul will do it but you'd invariably be better off with a long gun. Most experienced people recomend somthing like a pump shotgun loaded with slugs or a .450 Marlin lever gun. There are numerous stories of people who got lucky and killed a bear with a single .22 or 9mm but there's a lot more stories of people who were mauled after the bear soaked up 6 .44 magnums.

This is a general truism of weaponcraft - assasins may favor .22s but the defenders usually choose .45s. It's all about who initiates force.

Re:Animals are not toys

[YrWrstNtmr]

Just because we CAN invade their territory, disrupt their ecology, and torment them, doesn't mean that we should.

Can we assume that you've moved out of your house (built on land that used to be some sort of natural, unbuilt spot inhabited by creatures of all sorts), and moved into some place on the planet that had no natural wild animals?
Like...well...actually nowhere.

I'd be scared of buying it!

[Arethereanyleft]

As a coincidence, I saw the Project Grizzly documentary a couple of days ago, and I don't think I'd want my life linked with this guy's in any way. I'm paranoid enough as it is!

Someone wondered why he was selling it - most likely, he's trying to finance the next one. The guy seems to be obsessed with making these suits. According to the documentary, there are government agencies who are interested in the suits for things like firefighting and rescue, but he didn't seem like the kind of person who would get along with goverment agencies.

Re:Maybe it's not just me.

[Alkaiser]

Seriously, you can get nailed by a car at like 40 miles an hour. This would be great for things like...crossing the street.

used to be $500,000

[SethJohnson]

When the first slashdot article on him came out, he was selling the suit for $500,000 (US). Since it appears it didn't sell at that price, it seems as if he's throwing it on eBay to see what it will fetch. $5,000 is really not a very high starting bid. Keep in mind the thousands of hours he put into making these suits and he's making less than a buck an hour.

Practical use? There's all kinds of expensive crap on the market with no practical use. Some people call it art.

Re:Maybe it's not just me.

[F34nor]

Reminds me of Blazing Saddles...

Bart: "I better go check out this Mongo character." [Bart reaches for his gun]
Jim: "Oh no, don't do that."
Bart: "Why not?"
Jim: "If you shoot him, you'll just make him mad."

Re:I wouldn't trust one of these at all

[Suidae]

The best protection from a pissed off grizzly is a friend who runs slower than you.

Re:I wouldn't trust one of these at all

[American AC in Paris]

If I had to go up against a grizzly bear, I'd rather have nothing but a thong and a Desert Eagle than one of these wacky contraptions.

Bears have no sense of decorum, and would not be adversely affected by the sight of a geek in a thong.

This leaves the desert eagle, which would probably just try to claw your eyes out. You'd be better off with a reliable, large-caliber pistol or something.