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Project Grizzly Bear-Proof Suit Up For Auction
Ch_Omega writes "The Project Grizzly suit, The 'Ursus Mark VI', a 'grizzly-proof' suit of armour', was mentioned on Slashdot a few years ago. For all of you who then wished for such a suit (for wrestling with Grizzly Bears?), both the original Mark VI and the improved Mark VII (featuring 'a built-in video screen, a cooling system, pressure-bearing titanium struts, protective airbags, shock absorbers, a robotic third arm, built-in regular arms and swivel shoulders') are now for sale on eBay!"
Think it has enough heat sinks to support jump jets?
paintball
Zero bids? I can't say I'm that surprised. Afterall, aren't these things just a little silly? Maybe it's just me, but a 'starting' bid of $5000 with a reserve is a bit much for something with no practicle use.
Kinetic stupidity has a new brand leader: Allen Zadr.
What a coincidence! Just last night I was having dinner when I though to myself "Self... your life would improve immeasurably if only you had something you could take on a grizzly bear in."
Trolling is a art,
I take it to mean the project was a failure, given that they're selling off the fruits of their labour. Just as well - all the gear in the world wouldn't protect the suit from just being sat on and then the bear going to sleep for a few weeks in winter, leaving the suit dude to starve to death while trapped under a fat assed bear.
If it was a 40 Ton mech I might consider bidding. As it is, it looks like a 300 lb walking sauna.
Thalasar
I love the description of the Black Box:
"Voice-activated recording device... to record bear sounds, or, in the event of a catastrophic failure of the Ursus Mark VI, last words."
I can't think they'd ever get many last words besides "AAAAAAGH!"
The coolest voice ever.
I holding out for the one that Homer made.
In addition to protecting you from attacking bears, it will also protect you from getting laid.
What? No cup holders? Pah!
Are you actually able to stand back up after surviving being knocked over by the bear? It seems a bit bulky...
:)
Tinned humans
What? He didn't mention slashdot?
Does this suit leave my buttocks exposed? Because I need the freedom of movement. Bowel movement, that is.
I also reply below your current threshold.
Bart: "Homey, it isn't nice to maul Ranger Ned.."
Homer: "You want some of this!?"
Could probably use it for crossing New York intersections.
The Mark VII: just the thing for all those geeks who can't quite work up the nerve to ask Samus Aran out on a date.
Obliteracy: Words with explosions
I guess he doesn't have to worry about people asking for their money back if it doesn't work right...
No "Buy It Now" button?
damn.
--QTone
Given enough bears, all suits of armor are shallow.
Hello down there. Are you okay? Excuse me. Bear... BEAR FUCKER. DO YOU NEED ASSISTANCE?
Bugger Simpsons quotes, Super Trooper quotes are most appropriate this time.
Remember, it takes 42 muscles to frown and only 4 to pull the trigger of a sniper rifle.
Actually your totally wrong. The intentions for the bear suit were hibernation research, which could lead to things like a stasis drug for deep space missions.
True genius is grasping a situation like a peice of fruit, and peircing it just right so that it drains dry.
The seller's ebay ID is "bearsuits2" - I guess he's not the only one in the lucrative bear suit marketplace.
Just as well if this thing flops. Animals are living beings, not toys, and wild animals, especially grizzlies, are nothing to mess with. Just because we CAN invade their territory, disrupt their ecology, and torment them, doesn't mean that we should.
I want to delete my account but Slashdot doesn't allow it.
I'll second the "out of Hurtubise's mind" part.
Hey, Windows users, there is no such thing as "forward" slash, there is only slash and backslash.
the Second "Treehouse of Horror".
Bones Crushed... Organs leaking vital fluids... Loss of Appetite...
Or, my favourite:
It's so simple, I don't know why nobody has seen this before. The solution to Fermat's Last Theorem is....Gak
myke
Mimetics Inc. Twitter
From the ebay auction:
"The suits are unique because they were built totally out of Hurtubise's mind, with no blueprints, drawings or schematics. "
Excuse me if I pass. I was really looking for a good grizzly bear suit, but how do you expect me to trust this if it's not built under a proper, ISO-9001 certified process?
Seriously, blueprints are a GOOD thing. Without them, you can't do simple things like stress calculations, etc. You kinda want to be able to answer questions like: "If the bear pushed me over and jumped on my chest, would it crush me?" theoretically before you do a real, live test.
If I had to go up against a grizzly bear, I'd rather have nothing but a thong and a Desert Eagle than one of these wacky contraptions.
Life is too short to proofread.
Wife: Honey, can you go cut us some firewood?
Hubby: I would if I didnt have to worry about that darn grizzy out there! Plus its dark, I can't chop wood AND hold the flashlight, I only have TWO arms you know! You figure out a way and I'll chop all the wood you want!
dont sleep in the clothes that you cook in
Here's what I do: Bitty Browser & Andromeda
-asoap
Treat me like a marketing stat, and I'll treat your movie like a series of ones and zeros
There's something inspiring about a lone inventor relentlessly pursuing a goal, even if it seems like more of an obsession.
"Canadian inventor Troy Hurtubise spent 10 years perfecting the Ursus Mark-VI suit of armour."
"Perfecting" might be an exaggeration. Every time he tested any of the suits against an actual bear (unmanned), it was always Bear 1, Suit 0. Still, I have to admire Hurtubise's perseverence.
http://www.unixauthority.com/~fiskeja/mirror/www.n fb.ca/grizzly/
The site was a bit slow for me, so here you are...
Damn, if only I hadn't spent all my money on that Star Destroyer...
Please donate your spare CPU cycles to help fight cancer and other diseases
from the bear page: From a standing start, a grizzly can run 100 metres over rough terrain in just over 6 seconds.
from the suit page: Trigger finger-activated "blaster can" on right arm, capable of spraying a 38 centimetre (15 in.) diameter cone of bear repellant for a distance of 4.6 metres (15 ft.), for a duration of 7 seconds.
so in other words, i better be able to run in my 150 pound suit 100 meters over rough terrain to safety within 7 seconds or i'm dinner...
Look at all the armor and technology necessary to protect the smartest organism in the known universe from an animal. Sure, it's a fairly smart animal, and it's certainly a big animal, and it will fucking kill you a lot if you get close to it and piss it off without wearing a bear suit, but come on. It took us thousands of years of technological progress to come up with protection equal to its ferocity.
Next: Suits to protect you from sharks with laser beams.
It's rare that you're presented with a knob whose only two positions are Make History and Flee Your Glorious Destiny.
As a coincidence, I saw the Project Grizzly documentary a couple of days ago, and I don't think I'd want my life linked with this guy's in any way. I'm paranoid enough as it is!
Someone wondered why he was selling it - most likely, he's trying to finance the next one. The guy seems to be obsessed with making these suits. According to the documentary, there are government agencies who are interested in the suits for things like firefighting and rescue, but he didn't seem like the kind of person who would get along with goverment agencies.
$5 / month hosted VPS on linux = awesome!
Its only "slightly used" and the blood should wash right out.
MSBPodcast.com The opinions expressed here are my own. If you don't like 'em... Think up your own stuff.
The main things I remember were the "tests" he performed on the suits. Tests like the time honored "hit by a truck" test, the "rolling down a big friggin hill" test, and the "swing a giant log at my head" test. Forget the suit. I'll buy it for those tapes!
I can't find any references that back up the parent's account. Kodiak ripped off some chainmail while the suit was left in his cage, so the live test against Kodiak was cancelled. In all the manned tests, the bears could not be persuaded to attack - the suit looks too alien to be worth it.
Xenu loves you!
Have you bought other bear suits and then had difficulty getting laid? With this new ground breaking suit it is simply no longer an issue.
If in the unlikely event that you purchase our bear proof suit from eBay and still can't get laid simply use the 'robotic third arm' - satisfaction guaranteed.
"Come on, ya pansy, fight like a man!"
A discovery show. The guy that made this suite did all these tests and made all these redesigns. He would say, if this suite can handle a cinder block released from X feet it can surely handle a Grizzly.
The funny thing was he kept on making all these tests and statements that it would simulate an actual attack but he never "put his money where his mouth was" At least when they invited the metal mesh suite for shark attacks someone tried it out.
If any one actually saw the program they can attest to how unscientifically this whole testing affair was carried out. It was almost comical. Their was a test as mentioned above with where they man stood in the suite while his two assistants (a term I use lightly) attached a cinder block or similar item to a rope and hung it from a branch. They would pull it back/higher in stages. At one point one of the assistants thought he heard the man in the suite say go all the way and let it go, when it was only supposed to be a marginal increase. Like I said it looked like something out of the Beverly Hillbillies.
500 dollar reward for tip(s) leading to the arrest of the person(s) who stole my sig.
[control] OK all systems green, release the grizzly bear.
[tester] You want a piece of me? I'll show you what a real bear hug is!
[grizzly] {hmmm, another chewy toy...}
[tester] aaaaaaaeeeeeiiiiii!
[control] Oh my... quick turn the cameras off!!
[project leader] Someone phone HR and tell them not to cancel that job posting quite yet...sigh!
Merlin.