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Newsflash: Gourmet Coffees Have Lots Of Caffeine

Evangelion writes "According to the Globe and Mail, gourmet coffees (Starbucks, Second Cup, etc) apparently have lots more caffeine than their non-gourmet competitors. One jumbo (20-oz) contains an entire day's worth of C8H10N4O2." Remember, for best effect, drink it through the day, not all at once.

10 of 500 comments (clear)

  1. I knew it! by Mz6 · · Score: 4, Funny
    --
    Hmmm.
    1. Re:I knew it! by the_mad_poster · · Score: 5, Funny
      NEW STARBUCKS OPENS IN RESTROOM OF EXISTING STARBUCKS

      CAMBRIDGE, MA -- Starbucks, the nation's largest coffee-shop chain,
      continued its rapid expansion Tuesday, opening its newest location
      in the men's room of an existing Starbucks.

      "Coffee lovers just can't stand being far from their favorite Starbucks
      gourmet blends," said Chris Tuttle, Starbucks vice-president of
      franchising. "Now, people can enjoy a delicious Frappuccino or espresso
      just about any time they please ...."

      The new men's-room-based Starbucks, the coffee giant's 1,531st U.S.
      location, will be open to both men and women when not "in use." In
      addition to offering specialty coffees from around the world, it will
      serve freshly baked pastries, Italian pannini sandwiches and soups, as
      well as the rest room's usual selection of toilet paper and soap.

      According to Starbucks CEO Howard Schultz, the new location represents the
      beginning of a long-term expansion plan. "Eventually, Starbucks rest rooms
      everywhere will sell coffee," Schultz said. "But that ambitious scheme is
      at least five years down the road. In the meantime, we plan to open an
      additional location in this Starbucks' ladies' room within months, and are
      already drafting plans for a fourth restaurant along the corridor leading
      from the main seating area to the rest rooms. At some point a 'Star-bucks
      Express' window will eventually open in the walk-in closet of the men's
      room Starbucks."

      "Drink our coffee," Schultz said. "Drink it."
      --
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  2. PFFFTTTTT! by darth_MALL · · Score: 5, Funny

    TH-th-th-that's a t-t-t-total load of c-c-c-crap! Stewardess! Another Venti! Now!

  3. But I do drink it all through the day.... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    one large at 8 am.
    another large at 10
    another at 12
    another at 2
    another at 4
    another at 6....

  4. I like coffee by ld_hrothgar · · Score: 5, Funny

    It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion, It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed,The hands acquire shaking, the shaking becomes a warning, It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

  5. Did someone page? by blackmonday · · Score: 5, Funny

    Someone just dared to call Starbucks a gourmet coffee. Stay in your seats, the coffee nazis will be arriving in 3...2...1...

  6. Re:Arabica vs. Robusta, Dark vs. Light by JungleBoy · · Score: 4, Funny

    I find that it doesn't matter what type of beans you use, as long as you make it with Water Joe and grind up a hand full of NoDoze with the beans.

    Thats the sort of thing that gets me going... And probably leads to situations like my signature.


    -JungleBoy
    --
    "You never know when some crazed rodent with cold feet might be running loose in your pants."
    -Calvin
  7. Re:Makes me wonder... by That's+Unpossible! · · Score: 4, Funny

    which is good because starbucks coffee is really gross! burnt to a crisp before brewing, yuck!

    My dad (coffee connoisseur) always complains about their "burnt coffee," and I always thought he was just trying to describe the flavor... then I bought a bag of starbucks dark roast whole bean.

    No joke, that shit (or rather, those beans) are BURNT. They were also incredibly oily. Perhaps as a side effect of being burnt (fried? :)

    (and they make their employees work when sick. super)

    I'm afraid they don't make their employees do anything; they choose to work at Starbucks.

    However, if they don't encourage their sick employees to stay home from work, that would be rather gross.

    Personally I'll stick to my Dunkin' Donuts fresh ground coffee brewed in a french press (freedom press?).

    --
    Ironically, the word ironically is often used incorrectly.
  8. Re:Confused on daily limit by azav · · Score: 4, Funny

    Living above the border you have to acclimate yourself to a higher latitude. The days have less sunlight and therefore the upper limit of caffeine is higher.

    Contrary to popular belief, the effect of caffeine is not hindered by cold weather nor is the Canadian metabolism less efficient as their brethren below the border.

    It has been surmised that the greater daily beer consumption by the average Canadian may also contribute to the higher maximal dose of caffeine.

    This is a recently established medicated fact.

    --
    - Zav - Imagine a Beowulf cluster of insensitive clods...
  9. Re:LARGE?!? ITS VENTI GODDAMNIT!!!! by angst_ridden_hipster · · Score: 5, Funny

    Possibly True Story, with names changed to protect the guilty:

    So a certain anonymous individual went into a Starbuck's one morning last year, a bit cranky because he had to be up earlier than usual. He spoke to the individual at the cash register...

    Anon.: I'd like a medium chai, please.

    Register Person: Do you mean tall or grande?

    Anon.: I mean medium.

    Register Person: We don't sell a size called medium.

    Anon.: "Medium" is a description, not a name. You sell three sizes. I'd like the one in the middle.

    Register Person: We call that size "grande."

    Anon.: Right.

    Register Person: So what is it you'd like?

    Anon.: I'd like a medium chai, please.

    Register Person: You mean a "grande."

    Anon.: Haven't we already been through this?

    Register Person: I just would like to be certain.

    Anon.: You can be certain I'm not going to use your ridiculous trademarked name, when a descriptive adjective completely connotes my intent.

    Register Person: It's not a ridiculous name -- it's Italian!

    Anon.: Yes, and "chai" is either Chinese or Sanskrit. What's that got to do with it? The word I want in English is "medium."

    Register Person: Dude, what have you got against Italians?

    Anon.: Nothing. Well, perhaps they bear some responsibility for Madonna, but I think she's actually from New York.

    Register Person: Bay City, Michigan, actually. That'll be $3.50.

    --
    Eloi, Eloi, lema sabachtani?
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