Worst Explanation From Tech Support?

Disgruntled-with-Tech-Support asks: "Let's face it: At some point or another, we've had to deal with some form of tech support. Quite often, it's a hit-or-miss experience depending on the level of support required. Occasionally, strange, bizarre, or nonsensical explanations result from the problems reported, such as this one: I had just had DSL installed, only to find it much slower than the 56K line I was looking to get rid of. On calling the provider, I was told (by someone who likely reading off cue cards) to visit one of their internal websites for measuring bandwidth. While there, I observed that they had both bytes per second and bits per second listed, and that the number of bytes/sec != bits/sec * 8, rather a factor around 13 or 14. I pointed this out as a possible problem, and the guy's reasoning: 'Uh, it looks like the bytes are getting through to you ok, but the bits are getting stuck someplace.' What was your worst explanation from tech support?"

Comments

Re:Logitech's 'Black Hole Of Mousepaddery'

[Peyna]

If call tech support with the intent on acting like a prick then you should expect no less in return.

If you want good service, be polite and you will get much better results. I work in customer service, and the second someone decided they are smarter and holier than me, I am much less likely to deal with them in a courteous manner or to expedite their service.

I sometimes wish we had a camera hooked up to a large television so that everyone could see how rude some people are and maybe think twice before they act like they do.

Next time you have to talk to tech support, try being nice before discounting them as knowledgeless idiots.

+5 informative?

[halivar]

You're kidding me. Was anyone really confused by the use of 'Hindu' instead of 'Hindi'? This correction was unnecessary and only for the intention of self-aggrandizement, which seems to be a problem with most corrective posts on /.

Now, since this post is highly OT, let's burn some karma!

Re:no, not in this decade.

[RevDobbs]

I've been working on computers (hardware, software, and as a trainer) since the early 70s. I've NEVER heard of a byte being defined as anything other than 8 bits, no matter what the word size of the cpu.

Wow, it really takes guts to admit something like that...

Worst Tech Support Answers

[Orion Blastar]

All these are from Help Desks located in India:

#1 Bad phase of the moon, try again in a few days.

#2 The guy inside the computer is stressed out, try turning off the computer for a few hours and try again.

#3 You use computer too much, cut it out guy!

#4 Your parts must be out of warranty, give me your credit card and we can order new parts for you.

#5 Your DSL is not slow, it is the other web sites that are slow. Slashdot effect, try visiting other web sites. ... What our web site is slow? You must have a virus, reformat your system now!

#6 Reinstall our software again, we need the spyware on your system to see what you are doing in order to help you better. Get rid of Spybot and Spysweeper.

#7 It must be all that porn on your system? What you don't download porn? You must have a virus, reformat!

#8 Look I work for two US dollars an hour, they barely train us, and learning your language is a pain. I live in an apartment with 12 other people and can barely afford to pay my share of rent. How should I know? I don't even own a computer! Go call a local computer store and have them do it, the money shall be well worth it. You'll never get a good answer from one of our tech support lines.

#9 We can't help you, my scripts do not cover that.

#10 It is a sign of the coming of Shiva! Aiiiieeeee! I quit! ;)