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Harmless Pranks During a Downsizing?
Jailbrekr asks: "I am the I/T manager for a large horticultural firm, and will soon be a victim of aggressive downsizing. The downsizing is so aggressive that my position, the only I/T related position, will be eliminated. Being the lone gun has meant that I have held a significant amount of power within this organization, and until now, have refrained from abusing it. Seeing as I will soon be out of work, I have begun my (tongue in cheek) 'reign of terror'. To start, this week is 'Gummi Bear Week', where everyones wallpapers now have a (worksafe) gummi bear theme.What I need are suggestions. What can I possibly do that is work safe, humorous, and not something which will get me fired prematurely? During the dot bust, when downsizing was all the rage, what did the tech geeks do to abuse their power, and keep the workforce entertained during those especially stressful periods?"
A few desktop prank programs, especially the gems from LizardWorks, are always fun. SneakyIcons is particularly amusing, methinks :)
Unfortunately, I have no clue if they'll run on XP.
The World Wide Web is dying. Soon, we shall have only the Internet.
Um, yeah that's wonderful advice... what are you, 12 years old?
#1 is illegal, it's called blackmail, and your stupid ass will be dragged to jail if you try that.
#2 is simply called theft, and you won't make it three days with this one.
Yes, be professional. That doesn't mean you can't have fun, but strike a balance.
At this point it should be 9-5, an hour for lunch off site, and no after hours phone calls. Got banked flex time? Use it up now.
Beyond that you really should look at what you can do to eliminate any suggestion that you didn't do your core job. Yes, that means updating essential documentation of those things that you were hired to do. Stuff that you did as a favor can be ignored.
In fact, write it up, add a table of contents, and hand over the cerlox bound (aka, not machine readable)copy on your way out the door.
Clear your workstation of any programs or files that aren't 100% company issue, nuke all non-company e-mail and files, and then sanitize the hard drive so that you don't have to worry about someone finding the stuff later. Tell your co-workers to do the same. Do this a week or two before your last day.
If there is the slightest chance of a lawsuit - and hey, spend a couple hundred bucks on an employment lawyer to see what is and isn't negotiable - you should be copying records of work done and hours worked and taking them offsite. Not internal confidential information, but the paperwork that will support any claim that you might make.
Again, tell your co-workers to do the same.
Finally, do not assume that your employer knows or is telling you the truth about what your rights might be under the law. Depending on your jurisdiction you may be eligible for more severance pay than they offer. Ask your lawyer.
Ask your employer for letter of reference as early on as possible. Even better, write it for them and offer to let them just copy it to letterhead and sign it. Having that letter pretty much assures that they'll say good things about you if they are called. It also will prove valuable if the rest of the company disappears and there is no-one who can actually be contacted.
Although some employers would not approve, it is a good idea to send your personal e-mail to as many contacts as possible before the company shuts down your account. A lot of people who know you as joe@hort.com will have great trouble finding you once that address is gone.
And remember - on the last day it doesn't matter how late you are, how early you leave, or how you dress. And you don't have to shake the hand of the people who are firing you.
Three Squirrels
Hey, guess what? Already done. All users being downsized have a nice neat little email giving them tips and tricks on how to find a job online. Additionally, I have given them "free reign" when it comes to web and email usage for job searching. I cannot stop the downsizing, but I can help them land on their feet.
My goal with these pranks is to make them smile. So far, the gummi bears have worked splendidly. So much so, I am getting requests for other gummi bear wallpapers. You see, it makes them smile despite how crappy the working environment is.
With so many misguided suggestions, I am almost not surprised that you took such a hard stance. AS stated in my original question, I am looking for harmless pranks, pranks that make people feel a bit better about themselves and where they work. Its called building morale, and it is something which no one else has volunteered to do.
Feed the need: Digitaladdiction.net
"After all, since the IT person is being eliminated it is EVERYONES responsibility to keep things up and running."
Better yet, give admin privs to all of the managers at senior and middle level. They won't complain about their newfound powers, and most won't have the skill or objective view to use them safely.
It's only a matter of time before the shoot themselves in the foot!