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Harmless Pranks During a Downsizing?
Jailbrekr asks: "I am the I/T manager for a large horticultural firm, and will soon be a victim of aggressive downsizing. The downsizing is so aggressive that my position, the only I/T related position, will be eliminated. Being the lone gun has meant that I have held a significant amount of power within this organization, and until now, have refrained from abusing it. Seeing as I will soon be out of work, I have begun my (tongue in cheek) 'reign of terror'. To start, this week is 'Gummi Bear Week', where everyones wallpapers now have a (worksafe) gummi bear theme.What I need are suggestions. What can I possibly do that is work safe, humorous, and not something which will get me fired prematurely? During the dot bust, when downsizing was all the rage, what did the tech geeks do to abuse their power, and keep the workforce entertained during those especially stressful periods?"
During the dot bust, when downsizing was all the rage, what did the tech geeks do to abuse their power, and keep the workforce entertained during those especially stressful periods?
:P
Install games on everyones computer, and put shortcuts on the desktop. Before you know it "KILLING SPREE" will be a common noise of the work place.
Frink: Nice try floyd, but you were designed for scrubbing, and scrubbing is what you shall do.
I think you about to act like kind of IT person that gives everyone a bad name. Be professional.
Shouldn't you start sending our your resume and start figuring out who won't be fired so you can ask them to provide a reference for you?
Just don't do something stupid like running magnets over all of the backup tapes, that would be wrong and terribly illegal, especially if someone were to hollow out the inner workings of all of the servers.
[o]_O
Why don't you jsut do your job? If oyu do your job the best you can, your employer won't have a bad idea of you, and could be used as a reference for another job. Be thankful you have a job, despite the fact it will be cut. Some of us have spent most of our lives in school, and when we went out in the workforce, all we could find after 6 months of hardcore job seeking was a 6.75$ an hour job part time at Burger King. PS. If I was stressed out as my livelyhood was in jeopardy and someone played a prank on me, I would be very pissed and file a complaint with your supervisor.
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Support Indy Music. Buy
You can be sure that the managers are already afraid you will leave something behind that could cause harm. If they think their fears are realized you might find yourself being walked to the door prematurely.
Once when my sysadmin/netadmin/everything job was finally eliminated when the boss called me in to tell me he complained that nothing was working because they shut everything down to change passwords and such. The worse I did was tell him that wasn't my problem anymore. I never tried to get in. I let him worry that I could.
Do the professional thing - which is, don't do anything.
Your next employer might just call this one to see what they say about you.
Ever dream you could fly? Get up from the Flight Sim. I Fly
Are you kidding me?
People are about to be fired, lives uprooted, and you're screwing with their computers?
Glad I don't work with you. I don't know if I'd be able to restrain myself from beating the bloody pulp out of you.
If you really want to be a useful member of society, you'd start making phone calls, setting up some training, helping all those people about to be let go line something else up.
Yourself included.
If *I* were about to be laid off, the last thing I'd be thinking about would be gummi worm backgrounds.
Now get back to work.
Or make the screensaver or shutdown sound say "would the last one out please turn out the lights?" save that one for your last day.
/* oops I accidentally made a comment, sorry */
You claim to be at a large company, that you are the only IT staff, and you are about to be downsized. You don't say whether or not the company will continue operations, will it?
If this company is going to continue operating it will need support for its IT infrastructure. Where will this support be coming from? There is no one better to support them, right now, than you so, use this as an opportunity. Set yourself up as a consultant or the one they outsource their support to. This lets them keep operating smoothly and offers you a chance at a pay rise.
It happens like this all the time. The full-time IT staff is downsized, only to return the next day as contractors getting paid much more than they were the day before.
If however, you play pranks and are generally unprofessional about the job then you lose your job and a good opportunity.
Maybe that's why they're letting you go...
Consider a possible consequence: immediate termination over a misunderstanding. Some people will think it's funny, some will think it's annoying, and the Sr. VP who didn't save his report last night before shutting down only knows that you messed with his system and he can't find his report. It won't look good on the ol' resume.
Here come da fudge!
Duplicate them someplace where they are saved for a few weeks and then sent all together to the users or public. Otherwise, they'll be on to you with the very first one.
Be professional, and don't mess with their systems. In this day and age, it's not a good idea to be labelled as a "[cr|h]acker". Best case scenario: you get let go early. Worst case: they blame all of their problems on you (now and in the future), and/or The Law comes knocking at your door. That level of liability is not good.
Having said that... enjoy your "paid vacation". Don't put in overtime or give the extra effort unless you know the rank-and-file workers (not management) will be harmed by it.
Turn the pager and cellphone off when you're not at work.
Take time every day to look at the newspaper's job section -- even if you've already got something lined up.
This is place-specific, but... if your company has an informal dress code, show up in a suit and tie. And make sure that you are adamant about your hours that day -- or cut back a few hours. If you're in a suit-and-tie office, tweak the dress code as far as possible within the letter of the rules.
Take the time to correspond with friends and contacts, giving them all your new email address.
Catch up on your reading. Put your name in ink on your computer books, or if you want to be bold, pick up just about anything else. You know what will be least (or most) upsetting to your coworkers.
If at all possible, try not to write any kind of scripts to automate your job. This sounds petty on the surface, but if/when something breaks you don't want to be getting any phone calls -- or having it look like you got in to break something. Unless you're getting a nice stay-bonus or severance package, what happens after you're gone is not your problem.
If you do the opposite ("do good to those who harm you, etc."), you have the opportunity to demonstrate that you are a worthwhile source for the consulting work they will surely need, and a good reference.
Horticulture is a good model for your preparation:
First, prepare the ground. Make an extra effort to make sure that things will run as smoothly as possible, put together a plan for them that includes what you, in your professional opinion, consider the minimum admin support - perhaps a visit once per month.
Fertilize. If you do this, you may develop the first valued customer in your consulting business, which might continue after you take another job ==> extra $$. They already trust you enough to employ you; now they will know they can trust you enough to retain you.
Plant the seed. Ask them for a letter of recommendation. Ask the boss to send it to his friends, citing the reasons he is forced to let you go. He may well find you your new job, or several good consulting prospects.
Water and nurture. This may be the opportunity for you to establish your new life at the next level.
Have faith. Watch as God (or whoever you prefer to consider) gives rain and sun to your new life.
It's easier to be a result of the past, but more fun to be a cause of the future! http://www.spacefinancegroup.com/
So you should "abuse" your leet IT skills to setup that mailing list to facilitate the "networking" and set up proper filters or make sure it is not published anywhere, otherwise the headhunter/spammers will get a hold of it, :)
It's one thing to be smart enough to figure out how, against the odds, to crack a supposedly secure remote system and install a prank on it. It's a different thing entirely to be granted the power to abuse a system, because someone put their trust in you, and then abuse it. In fact, it's utterly pathetic.
Doesn't it make you feel good to know that our freedoms are protected by politicans, lawyers and journalists.
It's good that you're looking to keep it worksafe and humorous. And not getting fired early is good too. But you fail to mention what should be your primary filter.
Remember that the management droids (HR, etc) are probably going to make it through the cut (since they're usually the ones making the cuts). And they're also the ones that will be writting your letter of recommendation or being listed on your references. Since you've been the "lone gun" ITman, that could be a very valuable recommendation. So while trying to lighten the mood and play the prankster to releive your stress and that of the other workers, remember not to step on the toes of those being left behind, their recommendation could be the one that helps you land your next job.
DONT PANIC
I mean, it's not like there are links to follow or anything?
How come everybody is all "Don't be 'that' guy", rather than attempting to understand the intent of the post? He even states, IN THE TEXT that he's looking for harmless things to do that will KEEP EVERYBODY AMUSED. I mean, it takes like, what, 5 minutes to do stuff like change the wallpaper for well administered workplaces?
Seriously, he's not doing damage, and he doesn't seem to be interested in malicious behavior, just some fun for dark times.
here's one:
Set up a message broadcast system and play a game of simon says with everybody in the office.
hmmmm?
Look, if you're not at all concerned about your professional reputation, what kind of reference someone will supply about you, your chances of them recommending you to someone who's after someone with your skillset, etc then, by all means, kid around. But if you care at all about these things, then be aware that what you consider to be a harmless and humourous way of saying goodbye might not go down that way with everyone.
Just remember this: as much as first impressions count, so do last ones.
"Accept that some days you are the pigeon, and some days you are the statue." - David Brent, Wernham Hogg
This is one of the times in your life that defines you. It's easy to behave yourself when the consequences of not doing so are severe. But comporting yourself well when you behaving badly is easy is a mark of strong personal character.
This has the advantage that you could do this with a straight face, too. "Sir, since I'll be leaving and don't want you to suffer any downtime I'll need to transfer the Admin/root privileges to each user until you decide upon a new sysadmin."
But it's the most evil revenge possible, giving heavy firepower to the incompetent. Only the wise will ask you if they can get into trouble wielding power; most droids will just assume the mantle and start directing the broom to carry the water pails.
(It would be a good idea to make a really good backup, put the copies of the CD's in multiple safe places, and be ready for the inevitable phone call a few weeks later asking you to come back and "fix a little problem we're having..."
Of course, it will be on an hourly basis, fully loaded because you're self-employed, work is very short term, etc.
"Provided by the management for your protection."
Staff live in fear of the power of the IT people. Anything you do that reminds them of this will be taken badly. Even the most light-hearted of practical jokes will get your arse handed to you.
Dear Slashdot :
... so if you really want to help : help them find a new job.
"I am the funeral director for a large funeral home and every weekend an entire extended family (generally minus one) comes in and over the course of a three hour ceremony just sits around looking sad, crying, and generally killing the mood around here. I am interested in ways to brighten the mood around here, it's almost like somebody fscking died or something. Anyways, last week I began my (tongue in cheek) 'Reign of Terror'. To start, this week is 'Gummi Bear Week', where I walk around handing out Gummi Bears to all the guests (maybe that will cheer them up.) Next week I may start a 'Goose the Widow' theme. What I need are suggestions. What can I possibly do that is funeral safe, humorous, and not something which will get me fired prematurely? During the black plague, when dying was all the rage, what did the funeral home directors do to abuse their power, and keep the survivors (and the corpse!) entertained during those especially stressful periods?"
Guess what : when bad shit happens people need to feel bad about it and get it out of their system. A funeral isn't time for fun and games, it is a time to be morose and sad, get your affairs in order, and move on towards starting their new life without one important aspect (the dead guy.) Getting RIF'ed is no different. You really want to help these people, forget being the Good Humor Man - be the Job Placement Assistant. Honestly most people could give a damn about being RIF'ed the second they have a new job and don't have to worry about losing their house, car, savings, etc
Help them find the sites that will walk them through creating a good resume.
Help them understand which job sites are good and which are simply fake fronts for temp agencies.
Help them recognise which job listings are bogus and which are real.
Help them understand that real jobs are landed via networking and work with them to create, develop, and evolve their personal network and networking skills.
What most people (your peer group) want is to be a contributing member of society in a job that lets them be self sufficient and provide for their family. You want to flex your leet computer guy powers, help them get back on track to that effect. Tell them to bring a bag of Gummi Bears to their next job and think about you each time they eat one.
That's what people want. Not yellow smiley face cupcakes at a funeral. Being self sufficient.
Glonoinha the MebiByte Slayer