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The Sound of Your Firewall
upside writes "It had to be done. Once The Spinning Cube of Potential Doom gave us a 3D visualization of a firewall, someone was bound to ask themselves 'What does your firewall sound like?'."
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where the heck do people find the time for this stuff.... I can think of a whack load more things to do... like read slashdot.
That's all well and good, but what I really, really am dying to know is what my firewall FEELS like...
This wall sounds like burning!
sounds like a firefox howling thru a impermeable firewall on port 80
fifteen jugglers, five believers
Grrr.. ch ch ch.. grrrr. ch ch ch... grrrr.. ch ch ch..
I need to replace the harddrive soon or im going to be without a firewall.
no
"Ding Dong"..."No one's home"
"Ding Dong"..."Not interested"
"Ding Dong"..."Go away"
"Ding Dong"..."Leave me alone"
"Ding Dong"..."porn you say? well come right on in"
"Look Lois, the two symbols of the Republican Party: an elephant, and a fat white guy who is threatened by change."
It sounds like the screams of thousands of users, as I hit that red button marked: Power.
I use windows, so my firewall sounds something like this
Holy Crap! Help me lord! Bleeep!
More Cowbell!
ever get the feeling that some people have entirely too much time on their hands?
Professional Politicians are not the solution, they ARE the problem.
Especially, when it is being Slashdotted like the one the article links to.
Just pipe everything into /dev/sound. Easier, elegant in its simplicity, and will keep people out of your cubicle.
Microsoft firewall: "Please don't hurt me! Hey, you look cool, can't possibly be malicious, come right in... OW, OH, THE PAIN!"
Norton firewall: "Bahahahaa! You can't get past me! I AM INVINCIBLE!!! *fires the firewall equivilent of fully automatic weapons into the air*"
There is no mod option "-1: Disagree" for a reason. "Overrated" is not an acceptable substitute. Post something instead.
Like a 486 on its last legs, fans barely moving, and the smell of cooking dust.... ahhhh.
E.
Never rub another man's rhubarb - The Joker
Sure, come on in.
Hi, step right up.
Wait, let me see your ID...okay...Sasser eh? Alright sounds good.
Alright, I'm going on break now. Time for wifi to shut down
Woooo Saaaa
*Obligatory Old School quote*
I thought that was Bad Boys 2?
Casual Games/Downloads
Not sure about the firewall, but that LinuxGazette server is sounding like *crash*.
One man's -1 Flamebait is another man's +5 Funny.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIEEEE! Too many hits!!!! F*#%ING Slashdot!"
For your security, this post has been encrypted with ROT-13, twice.
...but I imagine the Linux Gazette web server sounds like Rice Krispies about now.
The coolest voice ever.
Dont forget the Hax0Rs' koan -- "Whats the sound of one port hacking"
--Kevin
'Ecky- ecky- ecky- ecky- pikang- zoop- boing- goodem- zoo- owli- zhiv'
=)
e.
Build Your Own PVR/HTPC news, reviews, &
The white noise should also aid in cubicle nap time.. A win-win situation!
Alternately: What does your name smell like?
Scientists restrict study to entire physical universe; creationist
I know windows XP is supposed to have a firewall, but for the life of me I can't find it.
Maybe now if I listen closely.....
May the Maths Be with you!
Once a waterbottle fell over somehow and my router was douched in it.
;]
I got to find out what a router SMELLS like.
You know that never-mistakable smell of electronics on fire?
Yeah, thats what they smell like
o/~ Badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger MUSHROOM MUSHROOM! o/~
o/~ Ohhh, a worrrm, oh noooo it's a worrrrrm o/~
Honey, I shrunk the Cygwin
Hi Bobby W! Fancy seeing you here.
My firewall sounds like a really bad techno song. It starts with a nice driving rythem with hits on 137 that come out like:
O M
bump-bump-bump-bump-bump-bump-bump-bump-bump
Then maybe a few attempts at an SQL worm on 1433-1434 so i get the second layer of the track; that's sound like 'dittlit-bump' so the track now becomes
bump-bump-bump-dittlit-bump-dittlit-bump
Now we've got some rythem going, but we there's always that annoying yet musical sound that comes interrupts the song the first time you hear it, but then you get used to it. We'll call that a portscan. ports 135-137-445-3127-5000
dah-dah-dahdah-dah-dah-dahdahdah
But at just that moment I get a fresh IP from my DSL provider, and the last guy who had it was running eDonkey, AIM file transfers, and bittorrent (as happened to my a couple days ago) and all the crap clients for said programs don't realize the old client died, so they keep trying said addresses.....we'll call that a big-ass bass hit that starts the loop over again.
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOM-BOOOOOOOOOOOOOM-BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Holy crap, my firewall sounds exactly like the Strong Bad techno song, minus the 'the system is down' quote. (ahhh the benfits of coyote linux. or IPcop.)
http://www.homestarrunner.com/sbemail.html
There are some people that if they don't know, you can't tell 'em.
You need this kind of quality to accurately measure the warfare that your Firewall is waging against anything evil on the cyber-waves. That latest Windows virus? Nope got smacked down by your firewall and you heard it about a minute ago.
Forget games(!?), just listen to your firewall wage glorious battle for the freedom and security of your PC and/or home network(!) in the comfort of your own home! All it would need then is a quality commentary...
"Firewall detected malicious port scan and DOS (Denial of Service) attacks aimed towards IP 19.5.4.10 on port 70. Access denied, commence lockdown and vapourize all opposition!" Forget those war movies folks, you can experience it for yourself now!
Or how about "Reinforcements (firewall updates) have just arrived deploying them as according to operating procedures".
Man, that would be the life, at least now spending hours on your own PC won't be dull again! Only thing left would be to be figure out a way to salute to your firewall and give it medals of honour...Hmmmm, this will take some time to figure out, but at least we got this far ^_^
Waits to be modded down Offtopic by non-Brits.
... you know, my firewall sounds just like John Cage's 4'33"! This is sooo weird!
-m
#
# Modus Ponens
#
How about if after crackers 0wn you, they replace your 'ping' .wav with one of the Reagan quote, "Mr. Gorbachev, tear down that wall!"
The living have better things to do than to continue hating the dead.
Your NEVER supposed to let the blue smoke out of the electronic components, that's what makes them run! You know how hard it is to get that smoke in there in the fist place?!?!
I guess they are now wondering what a Slashdotting sounds like?
Anyone wants to guess?
2bits.com, Inc: Drupal, WordPress, and LAMP performance tuning.
DOS attack -- Hail storm, Pong or Arkanoid with gold bricks
Firewall penetration -- Breakout or Arkanoid with lasers
Block All Traffic -- Mario with a star
My Firewall only ever makes this sound: *arf* *arf* *arf*
But that could be because my dog is named Firewall.
Ahem.. Please keep the smoke out of my fist place.. Thank you...