DIY Cruise Missile Designer Turns Freelance

js7a writes "Bruce Simpson of New Zealand, the designer of a homebrew cruise missile as reported here, has been left destitute by hastily-imposed restrictions of his national authorities, and is now offering his services to any non-terrorist willing to provide room, board, travel, expenses, and a negotiated rate. There is no question that cruise missile, UAV, bio-warfare, chemical weapons technology, and probably nuclear technologies will all continue to fall in cost significantly for the foreseeable future."

Comments

Buh Bye

[mfh]

In other news, a New Zealand man, possibly Bruce Simpson, was found dead by neighbours this afternoon. Officials present stated that Mr. Simpson died from an apparent tooth brushing incident, rendering his neck severed due to an accidental slip/fall, caused when a shampoo bottle fell over and mixed with some dripped shower water on the floor. Sadly, Mr. Simpson's efforts to provide cruise missiles to Iran and North Korea are all but a distant memory. New Zealand investigating officials have ruled out any foul play, and have ruled it an accidental death. Iranian and North Korean officials had no comment.

Re:Buh Bye

[identity0]

Nah, it'd go something like this, depending on what country did it:

Israel: "A local man was found dead this afternoon of an apparent shooting accident. Police speculate that Bruce Simpson was playing with his .22 pistol when he accidentally placed it at the back of his skull and shot himself."

CIA: "The U.S. Airforce has promised an inquiry into the recent incident where local resident Bruce Simpson was accidentally bombed in his house and killed. Officials believe the air force may have been ordered to "send Simpson one of thier new cruise missles for review" when a technician misinterpreted the orders and fired at the coordinates instead."

MI6: "A recent high-speed chase involving local police and a Aston-Martin fitted with rockets, machine guns and oil slicks ended in tragedy when Mr. Bruce Simpson of New Zealand was lasered in half by the driver, a man police say was dressed very well and ordered a martini shaken, not stirreed at a local club before going on the rampage."

New Zealand: "The New Zealand intelligence service has admitted to bludgeoning Mr. Bruce Simpson to death with sticks. New Zealanders have expressed shock that their country actually posseses an intelligence service."