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Celebrity Casting For LOTR
Heaven help me, it got my head spinning. As a former denizen of that era, my own offerings would have to be:
Momma Cass as Shelob.
Teddy Kennedy as Faramir (before he ate enough to qualify as Shelob.)
Mick Jagger as Legolas (with a twist)
Frank Zappa as Gimli
William Shatner as Boromir
J. Edgar Hoover as Bilbo
As Merry and Pippin?..... The SmothersBrothers or Sonny&Cher
Jerry Garcia as the King of the Dead
Tiny Tim as Galadriel
Timothy Leary as Tom Bombadil (Though George Carlin could pull it off)
Wormtongue played by Attorney Gen. John Mitchell
Eric Idle as Eowyn the warrior-maid of Rohan (though Michael Palin is tempting)
James Brown as King of the Ents (singing "Ow! It's a man's world..." and "I knew that I wood.")
Meat Loaf as the Balrog (played with Marlowean angst, and once Moria with feeling.)
The undead Ring Wraiths must be led by Kieth Richards,... ...plus (at full Valkyrie volume) Martha Mitchell, Joni Mitchell, Nancy Reagan, Nancy Sinatra, Joan Baez, Joan Rivers, Donna Summers, Don Ameche and that Dy-no-mite guy.
Orcs: Mister T and... oh, let him play em all. And I pity the fool who resists.
Lorne Greene as Denethor the Steward of Gondor... (Richard Nixon turned down the part)
Werner Von Braun as Saruman (Sorry Jim M., but instead you can play Aragorn, son of Araplane)
My favorite:
L.Ron Hubbard as (who else?) the mysterious and secretive cult leader Elrond! (Which imitates? Life or fiction?)
... and Jerry Mathers as The Beaver...
Of course Leonard Nimoy would both direct and sing background, with a suitably elf-spockish cameo.
Gotta find a role for Goldie Hawn.
And Raquel, please, in that cave outfit, pretty please. Luan-n-n-na.
Ah, what days those were....
David Brin
(Scientist/author David Brin's novels, including Earth and The Postman (filmed in 1998), are translated in 20 languages. His non fiction book -- The Transparent Society - won the Freedom of Speech Award of the American Library Association. THE LIFE EATERS - a recent graphic novel - explores a chilling alternative outcome of World War II. His more serious ruminations about JRR Tolkien can be found at his site
Ahrnold as the leader of the Uruk Hai, Jerry Seinfeld as Merry, Jason Alexander as Pippin, Charlie Sheen as Frodo, Ice T as Samwise.
Don't forget Colin Powell as Theoden, the one noble and courageous general who became taken over by the forces of evil.
This message brought to you by the Council of People Who Are Sick of Seeing More People.
Zappa, Jerry Garcia, Timothy Leary, Nancy Sinatra and Joan Baez are certainly 60's references. Donna Summer is 70's.
J. Edgar Hoover, on the other hand, qualifys as a 20th century reference: he was there in the same spot from the end of First World War to the end of Hippie movement.
In this case, Nader would be a reasonable steward of Gondor... seeing as he could potentially tip the scales in favor of the bad guys.
For years, I've been saying Robin Williams IS Tom Bombadil. Maybe it would work better with his early-80's coked-up persona, but can't you see it?
Jumped the shark? No, that was when Tom Christensen left publicly never to return in a post attached to a despicable comment for the story announcing the death of Richard Stevens. It was 1999. I can't seem to find it now, but it really was a low point.
/. "community", and this is the worst story ever.
But I guess that just marks the point of no return for the
I wonder if David Brin even intended for this email to be made public - it's just not very good. I've certainly sent some emails in the past that, in hindsight, weren't really all that funny - it's just good for me that 1) I'm not famous, and 2) I never sent them to Hemos.
I noticed something one day: lack of sex in Sci-Fi. This makes no sense since (1) most sci-fi viewers are guys and (2) they are generally sexually starved geeks.
While I concur with your reasoning, there might be a third possibility. Many authors work to create characters set apart from the rest of humanity - often superior in many ways. Maybe sex is impossible for many sci-fi protagonists?
Given one hour to live, the student replied: "I'd spend it with professor FP who can make an hour seem like a lifetime."
I certainly feel ashamed for RESPONDING to it.
Don't feel ashamed--how are they going to know not to post lame pap unless the community provides feedback?
Do meta-moderate, though. There's some very unfair modding going on in these comments (along with some very good modding.)
One man's -1 Flamebait is another man's +5 Funny.
Assuming it is worth a +5 Funny, since when are amusing comments worth posting on the front page?
Couldn't agree more, particularly considering the aptness of the more modern equivalent:
Wormtongue = John Ashcroft
Peer Pressure
2 - The movie is made, was damn near perfect
Snort, cough! Gah! I'm saving up for a new computer just so I can do a phantom edit on this sucka'. Denethor was hardly a warrior with his spirit broken inside, just a slob. Theoden was never shown attaining his glory, and Aragorn had more issues than Woody Allen. What a fucking whine-fest it was. There will be some changes. Oh, yes, changes...
I drank what? -- Socrates
This email shows that I was rather conservative and we can put it succinctly: David Brin is either drunk or an idiot, or both. In either case, we can't really fault him.
Now Hemos posting crap on the front page, that's inexcusable.
Never?
Then why was he still posting after that incident?
Mart"I know I will be modded down for this": where's the option '-1, Asking for it'?