Slashdot Mirror
Steve Jobs Undergoes Cancer Surgery
Zycom writes "Reuters reports that doctors successfully removed a cancerous tumor from the pancreas of Apple CEO Steve Jobs. In an e-mail he sent out from his hospital bed after the surgery he explained the disease, saying, "I had a very rare form of pancreatic cancer called an islet cell neuroendocrine tumor, which represents about 1 percent of the total cases of pancreatic cancer diagnosed each year, and can be cured by surgical removal if diagnosed in time (mine was)." He will not need to have any chemotherapy or radiation therapy and has an excellent prognosis. While he is recuperating, Tim Cook, head of worldwide sales and operations, will run the company."
but this qualifies as news worthy ?
Don't get me wrong, I too am wholefully greatful that Steve Job's health is improving and that he apparently isn't in any clear danger. But why slashdot of all places ?
Sunny Dubey
Macs cause cancer!
It's true.
After the preliminary biopsy doctors thought they had found a tumor on the inner wall of Mr. Jobs's rectum but upon further investigation they realized it was just his head which had been stuck up his ass for so long that it caused mild discomfort.
THEY WENT IN THRU TEH ANUS!!!1 NOW STRETCH IT WIDE, STEVE, SO THE DOCTORS CAN REMOVE THE DISEASE FROM YOUR GUT!
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g_______________________________________________g
o_/_____\_____________\____________/____\_______o
a|_______|_____________\__________|______|______a
t|_______`._____________|_________|_______:_____t
s`________|_____________|________\|_______|_____s
e_\_______|_/_______/__\\\___--___\\_______:____e
x__\______\/____--~~__________~--__|_\_____|____x
*___\______\_-~____________________~-_\____|____*
g____\______\_________.--------.______\|___|____g
o______\_____\______//_________(_(__>__\___|____o
a_______\___.__C____)_________(_(____>__|__/____a
t_______/\_|___C_____)/______\_(_____>__|_/_____t
s______/_/\|___C_____)STEVE'S|__(___>___/__\____s
e_____|___(____C_____)\CANCER/__//__/_/_____\___e
x_____|____\__|_____\\_________//_(__/_______|__x
*____|_\____\____)___`----___--'_____________|__*
g____|__\______________\_______/____________/_|_g
o___|______________/____|_____|__\____________|_o
a___|_____________|____/_______\__\___________|_a
t___|__________/_/____|_________|__\___________|t
s___|_________/_/______\__/\___/____|__________|s
e__|_________/_/________|____|_______|_________|e
x__|__________|_________|____|_______|_________|x
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How does this news matter?
It is official; Netcraft confirms: Steve Jobs is dying.
(and has been for the last 49 years. Even longer than Apple)
Apple Computer, Inc. (AAPL), beset by angry creditors and faced with severe G5 production problems, is on the verge of bankruptcy and total collapse. Apple continues to nosedive into oblivion, as confirmed by industry watchers, investors, and, most painfully, by customers themselves.
As a recent study by Bank of America Securities puts it, Apple ekes out its small existence by peddling new hardware to its existing customers; once those customers are satisfied, Apple will run out of steam . If these disastrous financial forecasts aren't enough, one need only look to Netcraft for confirmation that Apple's market share among Web servers is slowly dwindling down to zero. The market share of Mac OS X is now eclipsed even by that of FreeBSD, another OS that is deeply imperiled.
But the abysmal server presence of OS X is the least of Apple's worries. Apple's most recent quarterly report indicates a death spiral of cash loss. Indeed, Apple has hemorrhaged some $276 million in the last quarter, while racking up a dizzying $2.4 billion in debt. Revenue from sales of the iPod, the portable music player that is barely keeping Apple afloat in this shipwreck of fiscal woe, declined dramatically, threatening to shrink further an already miniscule lifeline.
Likewise, sales of the eMac, iMac and Power Macintosh G5 lines continue to skid. Apple is unable to secure G5 processors in sufficient numbers to supply its customers with Power Macintosh G5 and iMac computers, as Steve Jobs himself recently admitted, sending Apple stock into a deadly tailspin. The staggering decline in sales numbers confirms it: there is no doubt that one-time Apple customers, dismayed with the floundering ineptitude of their favorite company, have begun turning away in droves, seeking cheaper, faster hardware from manufacturers such as Dell.
Apple teeters on the precipice of doom, one step away from plummeting to its ultimate nadir of bankruptcy, chaos, and implosion. Wise investors will quickly dump AAPL stock and abandon the doomed company, now less than one year away from complete disintegration. And with the recent news that Steve Jobs has been diagnosed with terminal cancer, the forthcoming leadership vacuum at Apple will only hasten the inevitable.
It's time to move to a new platform: Apple is dead.
Why?
Woz is an inspiration and so are a host of others who have done things. All jobs has done is market other people ideas.
If I am wrong, don't mod me down, respond and prove me wrong.
They're white like the master race.
I just heard some sad news on talk radio - Apple CEO Steve Jobs was found dead in his Cupertino, CA home this morning. There weren't any more details. I'm sure everyone in the Slashdot community will miss him - even if you didn't enjoy his work, there's no denying his contributions to technology. Truly an American icon.
Join Tor today!
The real "disincentive" to diabetes research, at least with stem cells, is political. If you vote for Bush this November, you're basically voting against science and medical research.
Scientists: Bush Distorts Science
Scientists: Bush administration distorts research
New pesticide rules let EPA skip wildlife agency reviews is the latest story of the Bush administration removing scientists from the loop when scientific findings might go against Bush's policies.
It's not offtopic, dumbass. It's orthogonal.
PLease, please, America, stop fawning over billionaires, over the rich and famous. Cease this worship of social status and social hierarchies.
eat shiat and bark at the moon
Maybe the new guy has a set of balls and we'll get a 2 button mouse now that the primary obstacle is temporarily out of the way.
Yes. Welcome to Ashcroft's America.
Developing a cure? That's designed to undermine the financial well being of a US corporation. Let's whip out all those USAPATRIOT version 5 provisions and grind you into nothingness for being a "Terrorist".